Taste Test with an Untasty Twist
Unpalatable surprise quashes dinner plans32 total reviews
Comment from Mary Shifman
Well, I can imagine how upsetting that would. I don't add salt to anything, a few things, but not much, so a lot of the packaged things like that taste really salty. It's a good thing you tasted it before you served it! Both dishes sound delicious--without the salt, of course,
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2021
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Well, I can imagine how upsetting that would. I don't add salt to anything, a few things, but not much, so a lot of the packaged things like that taste really salty. It's a good thing you tasted it before you served it! Both dishes sound delicious--without the salt, of course,
Comment Written 04-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2021
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Thanks! Glad I had plan-B.
I got the fish from the food pantry where I volunteer--I found out yesterday they gave it out unawares to more than a hundred people as part of the standard grocery bag, which typically has plain frozen filets. Surprise!!!
Comment from Eternal Muse
Oh, this was sooo funny. The fish came salted and - crack! - your guests may have to wait for dinner (lol). I actually loved your recipe - never cooked fish with pasta sauce in the bottom, but I do love sauces and will try it. Thanks for the recipe.
Terrific humor, great imagery - enjoyed your story very much.
Will there be a sequel? Did your friends have frozen fillets that night? (lol)
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2021
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Oh, this was sooo funny. The fish came salted and - crack! - your guests may have to wait for dinner (lol). I actually loved your recipe - never cooked fish with pasta sauce in the bottom, but I do love sauces and will try it. Thanks for the recipe.
Terrific humor, great imagery - enjoyed your story very much.
Will there be a sequel? Did your friends have frozen fillets that night? (lol)
Comment Written 04-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2021
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Thanks! Glad I had plan-B.
I got the fish from the food pantry where I volunteer--I found out yesterday they gave it out unawares to more than a hundred people as part of the standard grocery bag, which typically has plain frozen filets. Surprise!!!
I posted a quickie follow-up yesterday.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a fun piece, well written and clear. The story is well told.
It's easy to picture the scene unfolding.
Well done and thank you for sharing this story and your recipe with us.
Sharon
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2021
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This is a fun piece, well written and clear. The story is well told.
It's easy to picture the scene unfolding.
Well done and thank you for sharing this story and your recipe with us.
Sharon
Comment Written 04-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2021
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Thanks! Glad I had plan-B.
I got the fish from the food pantry where I volunteer--I found out yesterday they gave it out unawares to more than a hundred people as part of the standard grocery bag, which typically has plain frozen filets. Surprise!!! Nice to see you again Sharon.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That must have been so revolting! I could taste it from your descriptions, LOL! I fell about laughing when your wrote that Lot's wife desolved in your mouth!! That was brilliant and so funny. I bet you made sure of the next cod you bought. Loved this, even if you didn't!!!! LOL!!! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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That must have been so revolting! I could taste it from your descriptions, LOL! I fell about laughing when your wrote that Lot's wife desolved in your mouth!! That was brilliant and so funny. I bet you made sure of the next cod you bought. Loved this, even if you didn't!!!! LOL!!! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 03-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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Thanks! Glad I had plan-B.
I got the fish from the food pantry where I volunteer--I found out this afternoon that they gave it out unawares to more than a hundred people as part of the standard grocery bag, which typically has plain frozen filets. Surprise!!!
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
I don't think there's a Biblical commandment against cannibalism, but it's just one of those things that's sort of understood. So, it's natural that your taste buds would instantly reject Lot's wife, as an acceptable menu item for you and your dinner guest!
I don't know how she found her way into your frying pan, in the year 2021, but you did the right thing, to reject those fillets, instantly ... as they would have certainly caused both of you to have a sudden cardiac arrest, resulting not so much from the disobedience to God's natural order of things, but from the overdose of sodium to the circulatory system.
It's very fortunate that you were able to find a suitable substitute, and that you didn't have to order out.
Which leads me to wonder, how on earth did your supermarket ever make the mistake of selling you salted fish, instead of fresh fillets? That's just crazy! I hope you took those responsible to task.
You must be, under normal circumstances, as good a chef as you are a writer!
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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I don't think there's a Biblical commandment against cannibalism, but it's just one of those things that's sort of understood. So, it's natural that your taste buds would instantly reject Lot's wife, as an acceptable menu item for you and your dinner guest!
I don't know how she found her way into your frying pan, in the year 2021, but you did the right thing, to reject those fillets, instantly ... as they would have certainly caused both of you to have a sudden cardiac arrest, resulting not so much from the disobedience to God's natural order of things, but from the overdose of sodium to the circulatory system.
It's very fortunate that you were able to find a suitable substitute, and that you didn't have to order out.
Which leads me to wonder, how on earth did your supermarket ever make the mistake of selling you salted fish, instead of fresh fillets? That's just crazy! I hope you took those responsible to task.
You must be, under normal circumstances, as good a chef as you are a writer!
Comment Written 03-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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Thanks! Glad I had plan-B.
I got the fish from the food pantry where I volunteer--I found out this afternoon that they gave it out unawares to more than a hundred people as part of the standard grocery bag, which typically has plain frozen filets. Surprise!!!
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You're very welcome, Liz. Yes, my husband also volunteers at a food pantry and sometimes returns with food items; frozen fish are a very good item to provide people who need food! However, I'm sure many of the hundred people who received them were also caught unawares. Whoever was in charge obviously needed to be more careful, communicating or labeling the contents.
Blessings and love, Mary Kay xoxo
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I'm sure most were blindsided--especially given they can't read English! I expect we'll hear complaints when they return (next month).
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Oh, dear. Yes, I think you will. I pray that some will have an inkling about the salt (whether from intuition, experience, a friend who reads English, or maybe an inspired dream?) before chomping into it, as you did. Maybe they'll put it back into a pot and boil out the salt -- or boil the uncooked fillets. I hope they, too, had a backup dinner! Which is actually what we need to do now -- have dinner :-D
Blessings and love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from AnnaLinda
Well, since Japan is dumping their nuclear waste in the Pacific...you may need more than good pasta sauce and salt in the future.
Good writing here as the world goes to to crap.
AnnaLinda
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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Well, since Japan is dumping their nuclear waste in the Pacific...you may need more than good pasta sauce and salt in the future.
Good writing here as the world goes to to crap.
AnnaLinda
Comment Written 02-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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Thanks! Glad I had plan-B.
Comment from Begin Again
I like my salt because it's one of the few things I can taste since my surgery.... but too much of something even if you like it is too much! Like gargling with salt water....No thanks! Watch that fish...
Smiles, CArol
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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I like my salt because it's one of the few things I can taste since my surgery.... but too much of something even if you like it is too much! Like gargling with salt water....No thanks! Watch that fish...
Smiles, CArol
Comment Written 02-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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Thanks! Glad I had plan-B.
Comment from judiverse
You were wise to have a back-up plan, and it was good the imitation crab was on hand. I'd be suspicious of a recipe that instructed you to simmer as long as it takes. I buy cod occasionally, and it isn't salted. Did you need to thaw the cod first? I'm supposed to go easy on the salt, but it's difficult. Salt is in everything. Well told incident. judi
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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You were wise to have a back-up plan, and it was good the imitation crab was on hand. I'd be suspicious of a recipe that instructed you to simmer as long as it takes. I buy cod occasionally, and it isn't salted. Did you need to thaw the cod first? I'm supposed to go easy on the salt, but it's difficult. Salt is in everything. Well told incident. judi
Comment Written 02-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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Thanks! Glad I had plan-B.
Comment from Jay Squires
This is one of my favorite examples of your delicious humor, Liz:
from the very first allusion of the salt metaphor: GAACK! "*Lot's wife* has dissolved in my mouth," you follow it, properly spaced like a musician's variations on a theme, with "the salty old witch," and "Her graininess proceeds to torture my taste buds," and finally, you tie it all together with, "Lot's erstwhile wife has apparently partnered with a salesman from *Morton* and they're cutting the rug on my tongue," to build to the theme that there is no reason in these modern refrigerated times to carry on an old, pre-refrigerated tradition of salting food to preserve them.
Beautifully, gorgeously funny, Liz!
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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This is one of my favorite examples of your delicious humor, Liz:
from the very first allusion of the salt metaphor: GAACK! "*Lot's wife* has dissolved in my mouth," you follow it, properly spaced like a musician's variations on a theme, with "the salty old witch," and "Her graininess proceeds to torture my taste buds," and finally, you tie it all together with, "Lot's erstwhile wife has apparently partnered with a salesman from *Morton* and they're cutting the rug on my tongue," to build to the theme that there is no reason in these modern refrigerated times to carry on an old, pre-refrigerated tradition of salting food to preserve them.
Beautifully, gorgeously funny, Liz!
Comment Written 02-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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Thanks! Glad I had plan-B.
Comment from robyn corum
Liz,
How clever you are! I would LOVE to be able to sit down and actually have a personal conversation with you - just time alone to chat. I bet you are an amazing conversationalist. Entertaining, witty, a charming host. I would love it!
You also remind me of one of my all-time favorite short stories.
There were two antiquities thieves. They had snuck into one of the many caves that dot the wilderness of Syria and had stumbled onto an amazing find - a beautiful statue. A woman. Gorgeous!
They steal it, sliding it carefully into the bed of their truck and covering the bed with a tarp. They are thrilled - and counting their riches - wondering how much they may get on the black market for this wonderful find. It starts to rain but even that can't dampen their spirits - these guys are over the moon!
The problem is they come upon a random checkpoint. THAT was unexpected. They're terrified. There's no way to go back - the guards have already seen them. The punishment for grave-robbing is death. They are in a line of cars moving slowly forward and through the rain they can see that the guards are being VERY thorough. They're checking the front and back seats - everywhere. They're doomed.
So, they finally pull up. The guards shine their lights on their faces. The rain is pouring in torrents as they roll the windows down and these guys are trying to figure out what to say. What kind of story they can give for what the guards are about to find in the back. While the two guards by the doors are looking over, and talking to, the two thieves there's another guard walking around and searching the truck. He lifts the tarp and looks underneath.
He gives a nod and the other guards wave to the guy in charge - Everything's fine. Go on along. The thieves are astounded. They move through the checkpoint, speechless.
After a few miles, they pull over and dash to the back of the truck. The rip off the tarp and ... there's nothing there.
Wait. Yes there is. Big piles of salt. They had stolen Lot's Wife.
(Obviously that writer told it much better.)
the
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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Liz,
How clever you are! I would LOVE to be able to sit down and actually have a personal conversation with you - just time alone to chat. I bet you are an amazing conversationalist. Entertaining, witty, a charming host. I would love it!
You also remind me of one of my all-time favorite short stories.
There were two antiquities thieves. They had snuck into one of the many caves that dot the wilderness of Syria and had stumbled onto an amazing find - a beautiful statue. A woman. Gorgeous!
They steal it, sliding it carefully into the bed of their truck and covering the bed with a tarp. They are thrilled - and counting their riches - wondering how much they may get on the black market for this wonderful find. It starts to rain but even that can't dampen their spirits - these guys are over the moon!
The problem is they come upon a random checkpoint. THAT was unexpected. They're terrified. There's no way to go back - the guards have already seen them. The punishment for grave-robbing is death. They are in a line of cars moving slowly forward and through the rain they can see that the guards are being VERY thorough. They're checking the front and back seats - everywhere. They're doomed.
So, they finally pull up. The guards shine their lights on their faces. The rain is pouring in torrents as they roll the windows down and these guys are trying to figure out what to say. What kind of story they can give for what the guards are about to find in the back. While the two guards by the doors are looking over, and talking to, the two thieves there's another guard walking around and searching the truck. He lifts the tarp and looks underneath.
He gives a nod and the other guards wave to the guy in charge - Everything's fine. Go on along. The thieves are astounded. They move through the checkpoint, speechless.
After a few miles, they pull over and dash to the back of the truck. The rip off the tarp and ... there's nothing there.
Wait. Yes there is. Big piles of salt. They had stolen Lot's Wife.
(Obviously that writer told it much better.)
the
Comment Written 02-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2021
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Thanks! Glad I had plan-B. LOVE your story--you told it brilliantly!
