One Thousand Cranes
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Slanted Moonbeams"Gypsy's Favorites
8 total reviews
Comment from Mark D. R.
Gypsy,
Great ending for your Senryu poem. Your 'slanted moonbeams' complement your selected artwork - good choice!
The allusion between nursery and full term is nicely paired.
Mark
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
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Gypsy,
Great ending for your Senryu poem. Your 'slanted moonbeams' complement your selected artwork - good choice!
The allusion between nursery and full term is nicely paired.
Mark
Comment Written 02-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much, Mark. I appreciate your review.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from amada
Oh, these three lines are so lovely, so expressive...i love the line that says dreams not carried to term...It takes a very sensitive heart to write and to come to terms with such loss. Great selection of artwork as well, those panels seem to cry as well...
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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Oh, these three lines are so lovely, so expressive...i love the line that says dreams not carried to term...It takes a very sensitive heart to write and to come to terms with such loss. Great selection of artwork as well, those panels seem to cry as well...
Comment Written 01-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much, Amada. I appreciate your exceptional review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Katie Mae Dead
Very nice and very touching! I like slanted moonbeams. It already sets up the reader to know something's not quite right.
Bathe is great in lieu of the baby not being bathed.
Dreams not carried to term is the perfect ending.
Real well done Gypsy!
Katiemae
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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Very nice and very touching! I like slanted moonbeams. It already sets up the reader to know something's not quite right.
Bathe is great in lieu of the baby not being bathed.
Dreams not carried to term is the perfect ending.
Real well done Gypsy!
Katiemae
Comment Written 01-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much for the excellent detailed review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from robyn corum
M,
Marvelous! And horrible. And terrible. But you've captured this setting and these emotions powerfully! This is another one I would recommend submitting - it's really, really, REALLY good. You write a lot of good ones - definitely, but some just SHINE! Thanks so much!
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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M,
Marvelous! And horrible. And terrible. But you've captured this setting and these emotions powerfully! This is another one I would recommend submitting - it's really, really, REALLY good. You write a lot of good ones - definitely, but some just SHINE! Thanks so much!
Comment Written 01-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much for your exceptional review and six stars I appreciate your kind words. Gypsy hugs
Comment from Heather Knight
Your poem is sad and evocative. The reader must fill in the blanks and complete the story.
You reminded me of Hemingway's famous:
For sale: baby shoes, never worn.
BTW, I love the first line of your poem. Slanted is the perfect adjective here.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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Your poem is sad and evocative. The reader must fill in the blanks and complete the story.
You reminded me of Hemingway's famous:
For sale: baby shoes, never worn.
BTW, I love the first line of your poem. Slanted is the perfect adjective here.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words. Gypsy hugs
Comment from Janetsue
This is an excellent senryu with a message that causes the reader to ponder further upon it. An empty nursery is one of the saddest situations to handle when so much love is available and waiting to be given.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
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This is an excellent senryu with a message that causes the reader to ponder further upon it. An empty nursery is one of the saddest situations to handle when so much love is available and waiting to be given.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Jesse James Doty
How sad this is. It is a good thing you wrote fictional in your author's notes, otherwise, I would be sending my condolences. This is an excellent Haiku and, it tugs at my heartstrings that there is an empty nursery for other women out there. The artwork suits the piece to a tee. I have never had a child of my own but, I helped raise my sister's children while they were young. So, I know second-hand what it must feel like to lose a child, even one that hasn't been born yet.
My mother had several miscarriages before and after I was born. She grieved the loss of them all. Thank you for letting me share how I feel about this.
Have a good evening,
Jesse
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
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How sad this is. It is a good thing you wrote fictional in your author's notes, otherwise, I would be sending my condolences. This is an excellent Haiku and, it tugs at my heartstrings that there is an empty nursery for other women out there. The artwork suits the piece to a tee. I have never had a child of my own but, I helped raise my sister's children while they were young. So, I know second-hand what it must feel like to lose a child, even one that hasn't been born yet.
My mother had several miscarriages before and after I was born. She grieved the loss of them all. Thank you for letting me share how I feel about this.
Have a good evening,
Jesse
Comment Written 31-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words, Jesse. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Extra Gypsy hugs
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Good evening, Gypsy. You are welcome for the review and thoughts.
Thank you for the extra hugs.
Jesse
Comment from SHABAMO
Gypsy,
I have read a few of your poems now. Your poems dealing with the loss of a child are gut wrenching and well done. I hope you find some solace in writing about it.
- Shabamo
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
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Gypsy,
I have read a few of your poems now. Your poems dealing with the loss of a child are gut wrenching and well done. I hope you find some solace in writing about it.
- Shabamo
Comment Written 31-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
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Hello, Shabamo, my poem is fictional, thank god. All my three children are healthy and all grown up :) they are my treasure.
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing my poem.
Gypsy hugs
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I am relieved to hear that. I think you must be incredibly creative to have a mind that allows you that level of contemplation as a mother. Looking forward to reading more of your work.
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Thank you :)