Natural Attraction
a Haiku14 total reviews
Comment from Mia Twysted
I think it is amazing how the hummingbird can flap those little wings so fast that they do not even appear to be moving at times.
Lovely piece that helps the reader relate to the world around them.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
  |
I think it is amazing how the hummingbird can flap those little wings so fast that they do not even appear to be moving at times.
Lovely piece that helps the reader relate to the world around them.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
-
Thank you, Mia, for sharing my haiku and your kind praise. Rod
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Natural Attraction
Excellent entry for the Haiku contest. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Lovely bird imagery and presentation. I suggest you add a dash after hover (--) Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
|
Natural Attraction
Excellent entry for the Haiku contest. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Lovely bird imagery and presentation. I suggest you add a dash after hover (--) Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
-
Thank you so much for your very kind praise, Gypsy, and the suggestion.
Comment from harmony13
Hummingbirds fascinate me! The first two lines of this poem flow and
connect well. The last line says it all! I rarely see these birds but when
I do I find them mesmerizing. The artwork is awesome and compliments
this poem.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
|
Hummingbirds fascinate me! The first two lines of this poem flow and
connect well. The last line says it all! I rarely see these birds but when
I do I find them mesmerizing. The artwork is awesome and compliments
this poem.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
-
Thank you so much, harmony. I, too, find hummingbirds mesmerizing. I am delighted you enjoyed my haiku.
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku, Natural Attraction, presented with a 5-7-5 formatting, has a terrific structure and captures the flittering bird in the midst of its quick drink. Nice.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
|
This haiku, Natural Attraction, presented with a 5-7-5 formatting, has a terrific structure and captures the flittering bird in the midst of its quick drink. Nice.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
-
Thank you very much, Bill, for sharing my haiku and your kind praise.
Comment from Wendy G
You have posted an amazing image and described it well in your thoughtful Haiku. The last line reflects the photo so well. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
|
You have posted an amazing image and described it well in your thoughtful Haiku. The last line reflects the photo so well. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 01-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
-
Thank you very much, Wendy, for your kind praise of your haiku.
Comment from royowen
I've actually never seem a hummingbird, although lots of photos, and quite a few documentaries, but not in real life. A great piece of composing in this contest, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
|
I've actually never seem a hummingbird, although lots of photos, and quite a few documentaries, but not in real life. A great piece of composing in this contest, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 01-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
-
Thank you very much, Roy.
-
Most welcome
Comment from rspoet
You've written an excellent traditional 5-7-5 haiku for the contest
with wonderful imagery and juxtaposed images of the hummingbird and flower. I like the suspended in time description of the hovering.
Suggestion: Haiku doesn't use capitals, so I'd use 'flowers'
and there usually are two connected lines; using an em-dash would separate.
flower entices--
blue-winged hummingbird hovers
suspended in time
or
flower entices
flitting blue-winged hummingbird--
suspended in time
merely suggestions.
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
|
You've written an excellent traditional 5-7-5 haiku for the contest
with wonderful imagery and juxtaposed images of the hummingbird and flower. I like the suspended in time description of the hovering.
Suggestion: Haiku doesn't use capitals, so I'd use 'flowers'
and there usually are two connected lines; using an em-dash would separate.
flower entices--
blue-winged hummingbird hovers
suspended in time
or
flower entices
flitting blue-winged hummingbird--
suspended in time
merely suggestions.
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
Comment Written 01-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
-
Thank you so much, Robert, for your wonderful review and suggestions.
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
This is a nicely written haiku. Very beautiful overall presentation background colour and font. Lovely photo to compliment your words as well. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
|
This is a nicely written haiku. Very beautiful overall presentation background colour and font. Lovely photo to compliment your words as well. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
-
Thank you, Joanne, for your very encouraging review.
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is a charming poem. Hummingbirds are amazing creatures. They are something to watch. They do seem to just hang in the air. They are so delicate and so is your poem. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
|
This is a charming poem. Hummingbirds are amazing creatures. They are something to watch. They do seem to just hang in the air. They are so delicate and so is your poem. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
-
Thank you very much, Mary, for your high praise of my haiku.
Comment from LisaMay
You'll probably do well with this haiku - people like hummingbirds, your colourful presentation is lovely, and 'suspended in time' is an appealing line.
(I wrote a poem called 'hummingbird hovers' recently and it won a 5-7-5 contest, so I predict you'll get lots of votes for this poem.)
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
|
You'll probably do well with this haiku - people like hummingbirds, your colourful presentation is lovely, and 'suspended in time' is an appealing line.
(I wrote a poem called 'hummingbird hovers' recently and it won a 5-7-5 contest, so I predict you'll get lots of votes for this poem.)
Comment Written 31-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
-
Oh, Lisa, I'm feeling guilty. I forgot about the lovely poem you wrote that won the contest. I saw this photo in a NWF magazine and could not resist using it to inspire a poem. Many thanks for your kind praise and encouragement.
-
The photo is gorgeous. We don't have hummingbirds in New Zealand - they captivate me. Forget about feeling guilty - the birds do hover, so there's no other way to describe it. They attract being a popular topic, like butterflies and flowers.... you have done a skillful addition to the topic.
