Secrets in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Secrets in the Wind - Chap 32"A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime
18 total reviews
Comment from Carol Clark2
Great chapter! Glad to hear Michael has a bit of a heart. You filled in a lot of his backstory for us. One suggestion: On over one occasion -- on more than one?? Wondering what Cynthia's up to now. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
  |
Great chapter! Glad to hear Michael has a bit of a heart. You filled in a lot of his backstory for us. One suggestion: On over one occasion -- on more than one?? Wondering what Cynthia's up to now. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
-
I need my internet to co-operate. I can write on Word but when I get on Fanstory or goggle it keeps kicking me off. So much for country living and storms...I am so far behind!
I am trying to speed through the late reviews so people don't think I have ignored them, but another storm is on its way. Thank you as always. Smiles, Carol
-
You'd never ignore your fans! :LOL! Hope your internet returns soon.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
You nailed it/ I'm so glad you publish daily vs weekly like most novelists here--as it is, I am already impatient for the next chapter!
SUGG:
Tango and Poppa had been enjoying lunch on the front veranda, [but=>AND] the scream brought them barreling around the corner
Cassidy's screams had brought Garth, Hank, and Emmy from their powwow in the study [COMMA] with the cowboy in the lead.
Her property value would escalate [OMIT in value]
On [over=>MORE THAN] one occasion
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
|
You nailed it/ I'm so glad you publish daily vs weekly like most novelists here--as it is, I am already impatient for the next chapter!
SUGG:
Tango and Poppa had been enjoying lunch on the front veranda, [but=>AND] the scream brought them barreling around the corner
Cassidy's screams had brought Garth, Hank, and Emmy from their powwow in the study [COMMA] with the cowboy in the lead.
Her property value would escalate [OMIT in value]
On [over=>MORE THAN] one occasion
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
-
I need my internet to co-operate. I can write on Word but when I get on Fanstory or goggle it keeps kicking me off. So much for country living and storms...I am so far behind!
I am embarrassed how late I am with thanking everyone. I am trying to speed through and tell everyone how appreciative I am before the next storm comes. Have a great day! Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Intriguing still. Yes, two separate groups involved, one concerning the gold, the other the drugs. Poor Liz, caught up in all this. Haven't seen Jon for a while, he's in it all up to the eyeballs, got in deeper than he could handle. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Wendy
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
|
Intriguing still. Yes, two separate groups involved, one concerning the gold, the other the drugs. Poor Liz, caught up in all this. Haven't seen Jon for a while, he's in it all up to the eyeballs, got in deeper than he could handle. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Wendy
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
-
I need my internet to co-operate. I can write on Word but when I get on Fanstory or goggle it keeps kicking me off. So much for country living and storms...I am so far behind!
Sorry I am late but I am trying to speed through these reviews so i can at least say thank you and how much I appreciate them. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent chapter, Carol! You are beginning to fill in some of the blanks for us and maybe our first impressions weren't entirely correct. I'm anxious to see what Cynthia has to say to Michael, if anything. And I'm glad that Hank convinced the FBI agents to listen to Daryl's side of the story.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
|
Excellent chapter, Carol! You are beginning to fill in some of the blanks for us and maybe our first impressions weren't entirely correct. I'm anxious to see what Cynthia has to say to Michael, if anything. And I'm glad that Hank convinced the FBI agents to listen to Daryl's side of the story.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
-
I need my internet to co-operate. I can write on Word but when I get on Fanstory or goggle it keeps kicking me off. So much for country living and storms...I am so far behind!
thank you and sorry I am trying to speed through the reviews to at least say thank you. Smiles, Carol
-
No problem, Carol! It?s so easy to fall behind
Comment from lyenochka
It's good that Tango can do the surgery and that Garth can be there to keep Allie's mind on something better. Cassidy's scream came in useful twice!
Good thing that Hank was there to stop Poppa from cuffing Darryl. Hopefully, he'll remember the truck at the church and piece things together as they point to Miguel and Mason.
Who is saying this? Tango?
"Boss, if it's the stitches, I can do it. Did it in the field a few times."
"What? (end quotes needed)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
|
It's good that Tango can do the surgery and that Garth can be there to keep Allie's mind on something better. Cassidy's scream came in useful twice!
Good thing that Hank was there to stop Poppa from cuffing Darryl. Hopefully, he'll remember the truck at the church and piece things together as they point to Miguel and Mason.
Who is saying this? Tango?
"Boss, if it's the stitches, I can do it. Did it in the field a few times."
"What? (end quotes needed)
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
-
I need my internet to co-operate. I can write on Word but when I get on Fanstory or goggle it keeps kicking me off. So much for country living and storms...I am so far behind!
I have been thrown off most of the time so I am attempting to speed through and thank everyone before I am gone again. As always i appreciate you! Smiles, Carol
Comment from Versch
This is the only chapter I have read and it sounds interesting. The narratives are excellent and the dialogues are realistic. A well written chapter.
Suggestion/recommendation:
"Hank. Garth. Someone. Allie has fallen outside. She needs help." (I would put exclamation marks on these sentences, or at least some of them, because the speaker is yelling. - what do you think?)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
|
This is the only chapter I have read and it sounds interesting. The narratives are excellent and the dialogues are realistic. A well written chapter.
Suggestion/recommendation:
"Hank. Garth. Someone. Allie has fallen outside. She needs help." (I would put exclamation marks on these sentences, or at least some of them, because the speaker is yelling. - what do you think?)
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
-
thanks for mentioning the exclamation marks. I was always reprimanded by Bob Mastery because I liked to used them, but he said published works did not want them. I think it's all in the writer, and I like them. Smiles, Carol
-
Yes, it all depends on the writer. I use exclamation marks when appropriate. Cheers, Versch
Comment from BethShelby
This is an exciting chapter. I can't wait to find out the story of where the wine barrels come from. I sure it has to do with Miguel. Jon is in on it and I think Mason but I not sure because I don't know how he fits with Cynthia. You have left us with another Cliff hanger.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
|
This is an exciting chapter. I can't wait to find out the story of where the wine barrels come from. I sure it has to do with Miguel. Jon is in on it and I think Mason but I not sure because I don't know how he fits with Cynthia. You have left us with another Cliff hanger.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
-
I need my internet to co-operate. I can write on Word but when I get on Fanstory or goggle it keeps kicking me off. So much for country living and storms...I am so far behind! My apologies!
Smiles and hugs! thanks for the review, Beth.
Comment from royowen
So Michael has twigged to possible motives and questions arising from Cynthia wanting to purchase the land that the winery was on, and not being a complete sleaze, he had liked Jack, and didn't want to swindle Liz. But now the stashed drugs are exposed, stored in the wine barrels, I wonder how this is going to transpire, well done Carol, good follow up. Note : Deep knife wounds sometimes need internal stitching Carol. Blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
|
So Michael has twigged to possible motives and questions arising from Cynthia wanting to purchase the land that the winery was on, and not being a complete sleaze, he had liked Jack, and didn't want to swindle Liz. But now the stashed drugs are exposed, stored in the wine barrels, I wonder how this is going to transpire, well done Carol, good follow up. Note : Deep knife wounds sometimes need internal stitching Carol. Blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
-
Thanks for reading as always. I am trying to catch up on these reviews before I get kicked off again. Another storm is brewing outside and in the story. LOL
As for Allie, she just split open the top stitches not the inside onese, so I think with some rest and loving care she'll be good.
Smiles, Carol
-
Well done Carol
