Secrets in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Secrets in the Wind - Chapter 23"A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime
24 total reviews
Comment from eliz100
This is an interesting twist, I look forward to seeing haw this part of the plot develops. There is no room for improvement. I look forward to the next chapter. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2021
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This is an interesting twist, I look forward to seeing haw this part of the plot develops. There is no room for improvement. I look forward to the next chapter. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2021
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I'll just say thank you for catching up with all of them. It takes a lot of time and I truly appreciate it. Hope you enjoy the story.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
Your mind is amazing! Who better to expose this gold scheme than the loving and innocent Annie and her constant companion--her dog Benjamin! I'm getting that chill up the back of my neck... Michael will stop at nothing to keep this gold secret and for himself! I'm worried... Pinky swears don't hold much credence with the likes of him! Annie! Run!
Karenina
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
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Your mind is amazing! Who better to expose this gold scheme than the loving and innocent Annie and her constant companion--her dog Benjamin! I'm getting that chill up the back of my neck... Michael will stop at nothing to keep this gold secret and for himself! I'm worried... Pinky swears don't hold much credence with the likes of him! Annie! Run!
Karenina
Comment Written 31-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
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I love it! I too thought the innocent child and her dog "Sebastian" simply intrigued by whatever the shiny gold stuff was. good thing she doesn't know much about gold mining or I might have had to show myself up with a little kid...LOl Pinky swear!!
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You his was yet another stroke of genius on your part...
Karenina
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
So far so good. The girls have been transferred. Cynthia hasn't made her move yet. Michael is telling himself he has found gold when Annie comes by with Sebastian. Oh, oh. Somewhat of a problem?
Ralf
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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So far so good. The girls have been transferred. Cynthia hasn't made her move yet. Michael is telling himself he has found gold when Annie comes by with Sebastian. Oh, oh. Somewhat of a problem?
Ralf
Comment Written 22-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Watch out for Cynthia and little Annie needs to be careful too. Thanks for the review. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
Oh, dear, I shudder to think of Annie having anything to do with Michael. I'm wondering what will happen to Darryl, now that Cynthia's chatting so often with him. So many interesting relationships between all the characters. Another great chapter. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Oh, dear, I shudder to think of Annie having anything to do with Michael. I'm wondering what will happen to Darryl, now that Cynthia's chatting so often with him. So many interesting relationships between all the characters. Another great chapter. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 15-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Glad you are enjoying the story. Cynthia is full of secrets and paints such a sweet picture of herself until.....I appreciate the kind review.
Have a great day. Smiles, Carol
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I'm thinking there's something rather sinister about Cynthia. I'll wait to find out what. LOL. Smiles to you, too.
Comment from Susan Newell
I like the movement of the story, and I'm glad you are fleshing out Michael and Annie. There are a couple things I noted. One major, one minor. If that is really gold, you have some science wrong (see notes). In several spots you repeated the same word in close proximity. Better to choose other words. In general this was a good chapter in terms of plot branching and thickening.
Hank offered, he didn't hesitate to pour him a cup. ==> himself -- I'm wondering where he got the cup, since the coffee is in a thermos
uneasy. ==> uneasy."
scattered clouds, ominous and dark, drifted over the mountain tops. Michael's gold-panning equipment lay scattered -- strewn to replace second scattered?
dotted the area like giant mud dauber hives. --YES!
"Hidden Streams of Gold." Hidden -- better word choice?
Bright yellow flakes floated on the top of the muddy water in his gold pan. -- gold doesn't float, it sinks. Don't know if you know this and are setting up for it to be something other than gold
heaps of black sand into his sieve and shook it back and forth. -- never seen a sieve used for panning gold. Pans look sort of like a short-sided flat-bottomed wok
struggled to stand while Sebastian tried to lick his face. With little success, Michael struggled -- word choice (repetitive)
Especially that wild dog of yours?" ==> Especially with that wild dog of yours.
panning bowl ==> gold pan
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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I like the movement of the story, and I'm glad you are fleshing out Michael and Annie. There are a couple things I noted. One major, one minor. If that is really gold, you have some science wrong (see notes). In several spots you repeated the same word in close proximity. Better to choose other words. In general this was a good chapter in terms of plot branching and thickening.
Hank offered, he didn't hesitate to pour him a cup. ==> himself -- I'm wondering where he got the cup, since the coffee is in a thermos
uneasy. ==> uneasy."
scattered clouds, ominous and dark, drifted over the mountain tops. Michael's gold-panning equipment lay scattered -- strewn to replace second scattered?
dotted the area like giant mud dauber hives. --YES!
"Hidden Streams of Gold." Hidden -- better word choice?
Bright yellow flakes floated on the top of the muddy water in his gold pan. -- gold doesn't float, it sinks. Don't know if you know this and are setting up for it to be something other than gold
heaps of black sand into his sieve and shook it back and forth. -- never seen a sieve used for panning gold. Pans look sort of like a short-sided flat-bottomed wok
struggled to stand while Sebastian tried to lick his face. With little success, Michael struggled -- word choice (repetitive)
Especially that wild dog of yours?" ==> Especially with that wild dog of yours.
panning bowl ==> gold pan
Comment Written 15-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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From all the sites I researched, gold flakes do float and come to the top of the heavier sand and minerals. The heavier gold, of course, does sink, especially when it is inside quartz. The sieve is called a clarifier which is used with the pan that looks like the wok. I read a few, but I chose from two books that were actually showing people how to pan for the gold and had pictures showing the equipment and the gold. I don't know that I am right, but these were regular books, not fiction.
Usually, where I worked or at filming sites, if we have a thermos of coffee, we also have cups, sugar, creamer...that's where my thoughts went.
"Hidden Streams of Gold" is the actual title of a book.
Everything else is corrected, I believe. Hopefully, because my eyes are going cross-eyed with all the reviews, I was behind on. This is like a job...one can not slack, that's for sure.
Thanks as always.
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That's interesting about the gold, because everything I have actual seen real miners do shows the heavy gold sinking to the bottom. It's heavier than lead. I've never seen a sieve used. I can imagine the use of a clarifier to segregate rocks and nuggets, and I know gold veins will run through quartz.
Comment from ShirleyT1
You've written another great chapter that kept my interest from beginning to end! You do such an excellent job in continually building up the story, and adding new dimensions to it. And as always your characters' dialogue delivers a great story.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2021
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You've written another great chapter that kept my interest from beginning to end! You do such an excellent job in continually building up the story, and adding new dimensions to it. And as always your characters' dialogue delivers a great story.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2021
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I am thrilled that you enjoy the story. Hopefully, sometime today I can get another chapter without getting shut down again. LOL Appreciate the review and your kindness. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
This is another well-written chapter and I enjoyed reading it. it is simple and descriptive.very good chapter you have penned. I can't fathom what's going on in the minds of the characters. Who life is in danger I wonder.. The story is intriguing and is able to hold the reader's interest. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2021
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This is another well-written chapter and I enjoyed reading it. it is simple and descriptive.very good chapter you have penned. I can't fathom what's going on in the minds of the characters. Who life is in danger I wonder.. The story is intriguing and is able to hold the reader's interest. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2021
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Two different factions want the land and winery...one for gold and one because of drugs. They have killed three owners trying to achieve their goal. Liz is left.
Cassidy knows the secrets of Mason Caldwell and her brother the priest, Jon. Her life is in jeopardy.
Evil doesn't stop for anyone....Smiles, Carol
Comment from Teri7
Carol, This is a very good chapter you have penned. I really enjoy reading your work and especially these chapters. You used great dialogue and very good descriptive words. I felt like I was right there with the characters! Thanks for sharing. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Carol, This is a very good chapter you have penned. I really enjoy reading your work and especially these chapters. You used great dialogue and very good descriptive words. I felt like I was right there with the characters! Thanks for sharing. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 14-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thanks for stopping by and reading the story chapter. I really appreciate it and am glad that you are enjoying it. smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Another well-written chapter. I wish Annie knew not to promise to keep secrets with strangers! Liz could have sent the chocolates, and still been innocent, as the priest swapped them in later. Nevertheless, your intriguing story continues to hold the interest!
Wendy
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Another well-written chapter. I wish Annie knew not to promise to keep secrets with strangers! Liz could have sent the chocolates, and still been innocent, as the priest swapped them in later. Nevertheless, your intriguing story continues to hold the interest!
Wendy
Comment Written 14-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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I do too! But we shall hope for the best. They try to push the blame on someone else, but in the end....Karma hopefully will get them.
Have a great day! Smiles, Carol
Comment from Judy Lawless
Oh, no! Not Annie, Carol! She's definitely in the wrong place, at the wrong time. I sure hope nothing bad happens to her. Michael doesn't seem to be spending much time working at selling real estate these days. Well done!
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2021
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Oh, no! Not Annie, Carol! She's definitely in the wrong place, at the wrong time. I sure hope nothing bad happens to her. Michael doesn't seem to be spending much time working at selling real estate these days. Well done!
Comment Written 14-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2021
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He's actual just a trainee from New York using it as cover after his Aunt Cynthia told him about the map and the gold. What people will do to get what they want!
Smiles, Carol