Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Genius in Love, Scene 14"In Search of a Soul
28 total reviews
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Jay:
Each reviewer is entitled to his/her own opinion; however, I wonder how familiar any of them are with those on the spectrum!?! Having said that, Mr. Jax likely has a vision of the son-in-law he will gain to "replace" his dead son - I am certain Cornelius does not fill the bill. I am looking forward to your next chapter.
jan
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2021
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Jay:
Each reviewer is entitled to his/her own opinion; however, I wonder how familiar any of them are with those on the spectrum!?! Having said that, Mr. Jax likely has a vision of the son-in-law he will gain to "replace" his dead son - I am certain Cornelius does not fill the bill. I am looking forward to your next chapter.
jan
Comment Written 18-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2021
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Jan, there is a good series on Netflix called "Love on the Spectrum" if you have Netflix. I've watched several episodes about 20-something young men and women struggling with dating while existing on the spectrum. I have some followers of my play who have taught students living on the Spectrum, and one whose child is autistic. Another, who has been most helpful to me, has an adult nephew who is autistic. I have drawn from all those to created the Cornelius character.
Comment from RGstar
Great...good dialogues here. Detailed but not robotic. I have missed a few of these with absence, so I see the changes, however...it was not hard to get back in and feel, instead of just being a passenger.
One thing. The rules around ellipses are from country to country, style to style, but just be consistent with spacing so nobody can comment.
Great job Jay.
My best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2021
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Great...good dialogues here. Detailed but not robotic. I have missed a few of these with absence, so I see the changes, however...it was not hard to get back in and feel, instead of just being a passenger.
One thing. The rules around ellipses are from country to country, style to style, but just be consistent with spacing so nobody can comment.
Great job Jay.
My best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 18-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much, RG, for your generous support of my play. I'm aware of the ellipses (and I use too many), being different in different countries. But vigilance is always good, so thanks for that. The six, while certainly appreciated and valued, is less important to me than your kindness and astute observations. Bless you, RG.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, this is was a very interesting and long conversation. Some of the topics were clearly meant for the audience as sort of a Public service announcement from the author to express certain views. It did seem a bit out of place or untimely considering the incident. I think it works for FS, but I would trim it down for the general public.
The stage directions were greatly reduced in this one, but that may be because your MC wasn't present, but it was nice and tight.
This act also gave greater incite into the supporting characters.
Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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Hmm, this is was a very interesting and long conversation. Some of the topics were clearly meant for the audience as sort of a Public service announcement from the author to express certain views. It did seem a bit out of place or untimely considering the incident. I think it works for FS, but I would trim it down for the general public.
The stage directions were greatly reduced in this one, but that may be because your MC wasn't present, but it was nice and tight.
This act also gave greater incite into the supporting characters.
Well done.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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I really appreciate your 6, Lance, but it seems like it came with mixed feelings. I have to agree with your assessment of sexual roles in school. It certainly wasn't intended as public service. If anything, it was to show a younger component to the audience what the educational curricula was like in the 50s. Some today are not even aware of the women's movement in the 60s and 70s. Still and all, yes, it could stand some toning down and the entirety could use some pruning. I SINCERELY appreciate your candor, but I don't think you should have used a six on this.
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Not mixed feelings, just a observation/suggestion if you intend to go public. I awarded a six because the work deserved it. Some weeks have several six left over, because I will not give them unless deserved.
That's the truth, Jay. I try to be object and honest, and your work earned it.
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Thank you for explaining that, Lance. I know you write with integrity. Now you make me feel better about receiving your six.
Comment from judiverse
This is so sophisticated. This may be a bit long for FS readers, but I see you've been getting rave reviews. You so accurately describe the situation of the 1950s when women were still encouraged to be homebodies. Reminds me of the movie "Mona Lisa Smile" with Julia Roberts. Characterization is great, and we can sympathize with Phyllis over the situation of her daughter being kidnaped and the fact that the police weren't too interested, since it was her husband who did it. We'll be seeing Cornelius's reaction coming up. Poor kid. It would help if they started treating him like a boy instead of an idiot, a savant, or whatever. The dialogue is very intellectual, and would work with sophisticated audiences, judi
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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This is so sophisticated. This may be a bit long for FS readers, but I see you've been getting rave reviews. You so accurately describe the situation of the 1950s when women were still encouraged to be homebodies. Reminds me of the movie "Mona Lisa Smile" with Julia Roberts. Characterization is great, and we can sympathize with Phyllis over the situation of her daughter being kidnaped and the fact that the police weren't too interested, since it was her husband who did it. We'll be seeing Cornelius's reaction coming up. Poor kid. It would help if they started treating him like a boy instead of an idiot, a savant, or whatever. The dialogue is very intellectual, and would work with sophisticated audiences, judi
Comment Written 17-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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This review, from you, means a lot to me, Judi. Your six stars give it another wallop of good! Thank you.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Great chapter Jay. It's so interesting that you have changed the pace and feel of the script. Until lately, the play has been very contemplative and introspective. Now you have raised the stakes with the "abduction,' and the likely guilt and reaction of Cornelius. Eager to see how the more active plot will merge with the contemplative groundwork you provided in the first 12 chapters.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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Great chapter Jay. It's so interesting that you have changed the pace and feel of the script. Until lately, the play has been very contemplative and introspective. Now you have raised the stakes with the "abduction,' and the likely guilt and reaction of Cornelius. Eager to see how the more active plot will merge with the contemplative groundwork you provided in the first 12 chapters.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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Usually the scenes with Cornelius in them tend toward the introspective because of his inability to function relationally. So in those scenes I try to get into Cornie's head, and it can seem contemplative, I suppose. Anyway, thanks for reading. I do appreciate that!
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
Loved this scene! Excellent writing!
It stood out from the rest because there was no Cornelius, no Cililla, no Jennie Jax, and no Mr. Hiney.
I wondered what awaited Cornie in Mr. Hallows' office, and now we know. Mr. Jax has taken Jennie away for whatever reasons. I have to wonder, when Cornelius finds out, how will he react? I think the mothers and the principal are wondering the same thing. Cornie should be quite upset with Mr. Jax. And he will be worried about Jennie's safety. Mad, no doubt. How will he handle his anger? There's nothing Cornie can do about it... Mr. Jax could have taken her anywhere. I think Phyllis should really insist that the Police department do something. Maybe Cornie should pay them a visit. He'll tell them what he thinks, and he won't hold anything back. He'd play simple Defense:
"That thou mayst injure no man, dove-like be,
And serpent-like, that none may injure thee!" ...William Cowper
I'm looking forward to Cornie's entrance to the Principal's office. Of course, he won't be alone... Cililla will be swooping into the spectator's section, ready to guide Cornie if need be.
I like,
...that Toley is being so supportive to Phyllis
...that Mr. Hallows is also being helpful (Why on earth would they fire Mr. Hallows, yet keep a "dangerous" teacher like Mr. Hiney???)
I was surprised that Toley paid for a private investigator for Phyllis... did I miss something there? I can't recall anything about Mr. Maneses, or any conversation between Toley and Phyllis about the need for a PI. This is all new to me. But this scene is full of surprises, isn't it? It's easy to see why you backtracked from the previous scenes.
Keep up the good work, Jay! It's a real pleasure to read this story.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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Hi Jay,
Loved this scene! Excellent writing!
It stood out from the rest because there was no Cornelius, no Cililla, no Jennie Jax, and no Mr. Hiney.
I wondered what awaited Cornie in Mr. Hallows' office, and now we know. Mr. Jax has taken Jennie away for whatever reasons. I have to wonder, when Cornelius finds out, how will he react? I think the mothers and the principal are wondering the same thing. Cornie should be quite upset with Mr. Jax. And he will be worried about Jennie's safety. Mad, no doubt. How will he handle his anger? There's nothing Cornie can do about it... Mr. Jax could have taken her anywhere. I think Phyllis should really insist that the Police department do something. Maybe Cornie should pay them a visit. He'll tell them what he thinks, and he won't hold anything back. He'd play simple Defense:
"That thou mayst injure no man, dove-like be,
And serpent-like, that none may injure thee!" ...William Cowper
I'm looking forward to Cornie's entrance to the Principal's office. Of course, he won't be alone... Cililla will be swooping into the spectator's section, ready to guide Cornie if need be.
I like,
...that Toley is being so supportive to Phyllis
...that Mr. Hallows is also being helpful (Why on earth would they fire Mr. Hallows, yet keep a "dangerous" teacher like Mr. Hiney???)
I was surprised that Toley paid for a private investigator for Phyllis... did I miss something there? I can't recall anything about Mr. Maneses, or any conversation between Toley and Phyllis about the need for a PI. This is all new to me. But this scene is full of surprises, isn't it? It's easy to see why you backtracked from the previous scenes.
Keep up the good work, Jay! It's a real pleasure to read this story.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 17-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your usual upbeat and enthusiastic (same as upbeat?) appreciation of my play. Not to mention the six stars. I run out by Monday. The play grew, and continues to grow, organically, which is why I don't know what is going to befall Cornelius next. I'm thinking of having the undisclosed reason Mr. Hallows is being discharged as being the fact that he is gay (homosexual in the 50s) and living with his partner. But I don't want the play to devolve to a hotbed of controversial topics. What do you think?
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Good Morning, Jay
You sound like me... I start a poem with an idea, but I never plan it. It evolves as I write. And the ending always seems to fall in my lap. Sometimes I get lucky, and sometimes I don't.
There's so much gayness out there now. Even commercials are now trying to reach every potential customer. TV sitcoms have them laced into the program. I don't like the idea of Mr. Hallows being gay. I'd rather see him as a good guy. Perhaps he's so good, in fact, that he's neglecting some of his other teachers. In other words, he's faltering in his role of leadership. This is why 68% of principals lose their jobs. Here's what I'd prefer to learn.
Mr. Hiney... he's a lecherous teacher, looking up the girls' dresses or down their blouses, etc., etc. But he's a good teacher. His students have good grades. Parents hear about his exploits, so what do they do? They get on the phone to the Principal. So Mr. Hallows looks into the problem. When he discovers the truth, as a responsible director, he petitions the Superintendent to fire Hiney's sorry ass. But what if Mr. Hiney was hired because he's (say) the Superintendent's cousin or uncle? The Superintendent will protect Mr. Hiney no matter how many times Mr. Hallows goes to him with complaints. It becomes a campaign, to the point where Mr. Hallows overlooks other issues with various teachers. His leadership falters. When the Principal refuses to back off, what can the Superintendent do? Mr. Hallows gets the axe.
I hope this helps, Jay. But you are the author. You write whatever you think is best. It would be good to know why Mr. Hallows is losing his position.
Good Luck!
Cheers,
Kimbob
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Yeah, I have to admit, Mr. Hallows's gayness was possible (and admittedly), a quick fix. Yours is a very involved and more heroic reason for his being fired. That may be a way to go. I may have a possible use for Mr. Hallows later in the Plumb household. The thought's just rattling around. I'm really touched, though, by your enthusiastic interest in the plot. Thank you, friend.
Comment from JennStar
Another great addition to this story. I really enjoy the depth of the characters. I do have to say reading this reminds me why I appreciate the time and place I was born as a woman.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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Another great addition to this story. I really enjoy the depth of the characters. I do have to say reading this reminds me why I appreciate the time and place I was born as a woman.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Jenn, for your six stars and the lovely words. Having been raised in the 50s (in fact, I would have been in the same grade as Cornelius), women of your generation can only intellectualize what it was like for a female in the 50s. Most of the 50s women had no concept of equality with men. Within the family constellation, however, there were a lot of cases where the women badgered her husband, and men were afraid of their wives, but the moment they stepped out of the house, the accepted roles were followed.
Comment from Senyai
Hi Jay,
Oh no, a new twist! Mr. Jax has taken Jennie off to who knows where? He suspects something a little off about Cornelius, something other than him being that "idiot savant". What a clod!
But I think Gary Jax is just not himself after recently losing their son, so I guess I can excuse him a little bit. But maybe just maybe Gary Jax is just afraid of losing Jennie's affections to Cornelius. Cornie, our Cornie. I feel for poor Phyllis, it was her son, too. But people like Gary Jax, they have a hard time thinking of others when they are hurting.
Love Mr. Hallows! Always the calm voice of reason with his small Buddha statue right near a gift of tissues in his office. I can't imagine why he is being replaced as Principal :-(
Toley is wonderful as always but and Mr. Plumb is unavailable as usual, this time he is sick. Toley comforts Phyllis as best she can. Phyllis has hired a Mr Maneses the private investigator to track down Mr. Jax and Jennie. The Police department is depicted perfectly for a 1950's department. Tittering behind their hands that Phyllis wondered aloud if they would treat her case the same if she had been the one to abduct Jennie. Snide comments that that wouldn't happen because a woman wouldn't have the cash to run very far. Also they didn't see the urgency to find Mr Jax because he probably wanted a breather alone with his daughter. Very characteristic of the woman's and man's places of 1950's America, Jay.
But what has me concerned is how Cornie will react to why Jennie hasn't been to school for several days. He'll blame himself and he'll think it is all his fault and he was making such progress, looking at eyebrows, eyes even and listening to Cililla Queeze's calm advice. Cornie's reaction is discussed by all three in the office, should Phyllis go out to the car and meet Cornie there or here in the office. It is of the utmost importance to do this right. Toley feels the office might be best as does Mr. Hallows finally (Jeff as he has offered his first name now because of the delicate situation). I thought it profound that Mr. Hallows feels they should just let Cornie express his true feelings when he finds out why Jennie hasn't been at school.
" On the other hand, doesn't it make sense to allow the lad to react in whatever manner is right for him at the moment? Shouldn't we be here to offer him the loving support he'll need while he processes whatever the reality is ... and express whatever comes out of him.
(Beat)
Only, we just can't let him, in his confusion, hurt himself or one of us. So leave that part to me. He's not that big a boy. If that happens, I can restrain him myself until he calms down.
(Beat)
Still, his reaction may surprise us all. There's so much beautiful complexity and depth in the lad. Rather like a Mozart symphony."
Perfect Jay!
... and so I will have to wait until next week to find out. I've got my fingers crossed that Cornelius might surprise us all - one way or another :)). Like Jeff said, he's ..."rather like a Mozart symphony."
So good, Jay. I have fallen in love with your story. Do Cornie proud ...
Always,
Senyai
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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Hi Jay,
Oh no, a new twist! Mr. Jax has taken Jennie off to who knows where? He suspects something a little off about Cornelius, something other than him being that "idiot savant". What a clod!
But I think Gary Jax is just not himself after recently losing their son, so I guess I can excuse him a little bit. But maybe just maybe Gary Jax is just afraid of losing Jennie's affections to Cornelius. Cornie, our Cornie. I feel for poor Phyllis, it was her son, too. But people like Gary Jax, they have a hard time thinking of others when they are hurting.
Love Mr. Hallows! Always the calm voice of reason with his small Buddha statue right near a gift of tissues in his office. I can't imagine why he is being replaced as Principal :-(
Toley is wonderful as always but and Mr. Plumb is unavailable as usual, this time he is sick. Toley comforts Phyllis as best she can. Phyllis has hired a Mr Maneses the private investigator to track down Mr. Jax and Jennie. The Police department is depicted perfectly for a 1950's department. Tittering behind their hands that Phyllis wondered aloud if they would treat her case the same if she had been the one to abduct Jennie. Snide comments that that wouldn't happen because a woman wouldn't have the cash to run very far. Also they didn't see the urgency to find Mr Jax because he probably wanted a breather alone with his daughter. Very characteristic of the woman's and man's places of 1950's America, Jay.
But what has me concerned is how Cornie will react to why Jennie hasn't been to school for several days. He'll blame himself and he'll think it is all his fault and he was making such progress, looking at eyebrows, eyes even and listening to Cililla Queeze's calm advice. Cornie's reaction is discussed by all three in the office, should Phyllis go out to the car and meet Cornie there or here in the office. It is of the utmost importance to do this right. Toley feels the office might be best as does Mr. Hallows finally (Jeff as he has offered his first name now because of the delicate situation). I thought it profound that Mr. Hallows feels they should just let Cornie express his true feelings when he finds out why Jennie hasn't been at school.
" On the other hand, doesn't it make sense to allow the lad to react in whatever manner is right for him at the moment? Shouldn't we be here to offer him the loving support he'll need while he processes whatever the reality is ... and express whatever comes out of him.
(Beat)
Only, we just can't let him, in his confusion, hurt himself or one of us. So leave that part to me. He's not that big a boy. If that happens, I can restrain him myself until he calms down.
(Beat)
Still, his reaction may surprise us all. There's so much beautiful complexity and depth in the lad. Rather like a Mozart symphony."
Perfect Jay!
... and so I will have to wait until next week to find out. I've got my fingers crossed that Cornelius might surprise us all - one way or another :)). Like Jeff said, he's ..."rather like a Mozart symphony."
So good, Jay. I have fallen in love with your story. Do Cornie proud ...
Always,
Senyai
Comment Written 17-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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Ah, Senyai, you've made my heart race and my stomach drop. No, the last part was dinner. But to think that you grown fond of some of, and felt antipathy for others of, the children of my mind, makes me feel weak inside. That's quite an obligation I've taken on.
It won't be next Saturday when I'll post the next scene, though. but probably the one after. I've got another pressing announcement I'll be mentioning tonight or tomorrow that will cause me to slow down on the Genius in Love production. Keep your eye out for it.
But I humbly thank you for all your support and your kindness and your sixes. I can't keep my sixes past Monday. I'm like a kid at Christmas. Anyway, thank you for everything.
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Hi Jay,
Oh, I will definitely be waiting for the next scene for Cornie to come to Mr. Hallow?s office and ?.
Hope all is well, Jay. I will be on the lookout for your announcement. Take care ❤️
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I found this scene lengthy for the amount of information there is in it, and I am convinced you could carry out a light pruning that would be extremely beneficial to the piece.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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I found this scene lengthy for the amount of information there is in it, and I am convinced you could carry out a light pruning that would be extremely beneficial to the piece.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Katherine. I always appreciate your candor. If I were a painter, I'm sure I would find a way to get too much on a canvas.
Comment from tfawcus
A complex range of emotions running through this one. Mr Hallows is a skilled gatekeeper and has some firm and justifiable views on sexual stereotyping. I enjoyed the interplay between these three characters.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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A complex range of emotions running through this one. Mr Hallows is a skilled gatekeeper and has some firm and justifiable views on sexual stereotyping. I enjoyed the interplay between these three characters.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Tony. Probably a bit too long, but I'm glad you stuck it out and enjoyed it.