Comment from dellsworthpoet

Excellent

A simple truth simply told. The picture strengthens the impact of the poem. I also like that even without punctuation it is obvious you have two sentences. They link well into a single statement.

Word choice is good. My only suggestion is in the second line I would consider changing freely to glibly (careless or insincere).

Reads well. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2021

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021

Thanks for reading -apology for late reply zanya

reply by dellsworthpoet on 06-Dec-2021

You are welcome.

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

You've chosen a good topic for your Senyru. Words of love need to be from a loving heart, not just words. You make your point well. Good luckin the contest.
Cheers

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2021

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021

Thanks for reading & apology for late reply zanya

Comment from E. Denison

Excellent

This is a great senryu entry, mystery writer. I quite like this form because I feel like it focuses the writer on the most concrete themes they are trying to express. I think your metaphor of trust as a shredded mantle is one of the successful products of the form. Quite a good job here. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2021

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021

Thanks for reading -apology for late reply zanya