Reviews from

Running Blind

Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Running Blind~Chapter Thirteen"
The Blind Girl's toughest cold case.

31 total reviews 
Comment from ShirleyT1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another well-written chapter full of twists and turns. Your characters are so well formed and balanced with each other. The dialogue is natural and flows well. I enjoyed reading your chapter!

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the wonderful review and generous rating, dear Shirley. Blessings always,
    Sal XOs
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Makes my blood run cold - even in prison he can organise death. So glad, on the other hand, that Sally is up and better, looks like making a speedy recovery now. Looking forward to hearing how it is all resolved! Well written, as always, Sally. You write with such skill!
Wendy

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the lovely review and kindest compliments. It means so much. Sending you my best today as always,
    Sally XOs
Comment from WalkerMan
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

In this fine chapter, you relieve readers of worry regarding recovery from a neck wound serious enough to cause your three-month coma, and replace it with suspense regarding Tony Alfanzi's apparent ability to maintain contact with Eugene, an arranger of contract killings.

Section one shows us how many loyal friends you have, and how much they helped without hesitation when needed. This is heartwarming.

Section Two reveals both the exact nature of the neck wound and what food is allowed now that eating normally is possible. Yes, I can imagine the hospital staff's wonder at the number of dogs coming to visit you.

Section Three shows you enjoying King's lengthy visit while you ate as much of your meal as you could manage.

In Section Four, after listening to some music on your iPad in an attempt to become drowsy, you caught a news broadcast revealing the date of Alfanzi's upcoming trial. This is a clever way to inform us without having to create a long dialog with another character. It also indicates that people in the local area are interested both in the case and trial and in your recovery.

Section Five shows us Alfanzi in solitary confinement in prison, where he replies to Eugene's note in a way which might seem harmless to anyone not aware of the circumstances and Eugene's principal occupation. Clearly, there's more trouble ahead.

As usual, there was not a dull moment; and all events and dialog were plausible and realistic. Superb, and aptly illustrated.

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the marvelous review and star blast upon my return from heavenly splendor. It is greatly appreciated. I'm very blessed in real life and in this crime thriller, as you know. Good friends and loving relationships makes the world a better place. As far as the rest, time will tell. The Blind Girl will be up and on it soon. Thank you, again, Mike.
    Sending you my best today as always,
    Sal :))
reply by WalkerMan on 16-Aug-2021
    You are most welcome, Sal. This chapter is one of your best in this series, and I look forward to the next. :)) -- Mike
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your story hit a chord with me today. I remember my husband waking up after those long dreadful weeks in a coma. It was both insanely wonderful and horrific at the same time. He'd lost all memory of what things were and who people were. He couldn't even swallow. He had to be retrained.
I'm glad Blind Girl did not have to suffer that way! She appears to be ready to get back into the fight of things. go girl!

Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the wonderful review and kind comments. It?s so appreciated and needed. Sending you my best today as always,
    Sal XOs
Comment from Bill Schott
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Ahh, the roll towards the trial begins, but the tention remains as the threat of death continues. Love your story-telling, Sal. ....

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
    Bill, this is overwhelming. I'm blown away by your kindness and stars! I'm truly honored and blessed. So glad you're enjoying this book. Sending you my best and blessings always,
    Sal XOs...
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Whew! What an ordeal! But it seems that despite the worrisome three months of a coma, Sally's team has been hard at work. Hoping that this new connection with Olivia will help revealing her real identity go easier.

Comment/Question:
pink, Cadillac-driving assistant. (remove the comma after pink as I think it describes the Cadillac not the assistant)

I didn't understand: " then scrolled the name of his betrayer on the card. Analiese Irving. 1 mil." What does it mean that he "scrolled"? "scrawled" ?

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the lovely review and generous compliments. I appreciate the critiques, as always. I changed to scrawled, but scrolled implies ?painted upon? since he used mashed green peas. That?s why I?d originally chose the word ?scrolled.?

    Sending you my best today with love and blessings always,
    Sal XOs
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Another marvelous chapter in this very suspenseful story, dear Sally! It's a wonderful reunion for Detective Sally, Jackson and King, and I love the "pile on" description, on the hospital bed! Also, that Sally has so many canine visitors, that's just precious.

Errors and suggestions:

by my gregarious, pink, Cadillac-driving assistant.
-->
by my gregarious, pink Cadillac-driving assistant.

I inquired after Olivia Henry, whom I still believed to be missing person, Camille Jean-Baptiste.
-->
I inquired after Olivia Henry, whom I still believed to be the missing person, Camille Jean-Baptiste.

and the final outcome of Tony Alfanzi.
-->
and the fate of Tony Alfanzi. [what do you think?]

However, Tony's whereabouts was being kept from me ...
-->
However, Tony's whereabouts were being kept from me ...

If it hadn't been for you husband and Lieutenant Jean-Baptiste,
-->
If it hadn't been for your husband and Lieutenant Jean-Baptiste,

I was certain this was a slice of heaven.
-->
I was certain this was a slice of Heaven.
[Heaven can be capitalized, being an actual place.]

***

So... Tony wants to have his former lover murdered, for a million dollars? Eeesh. I hope he fails and gets caught, along with his accomplices. This guy has a stone-cold heart.







 Comment Written 15-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
    Dear Mary Kay,
    Thank you for the lovely review and generous stars! I?m always so honored by your kindness. I have made the necessary repairs. I did leave ?final outcome? because ?fate? implies someone?s eternal end. I can probably guess where Tony?s headed if doesn?t turn around. Stay tuned as we near the end. Blessings always,
    Sal XOs
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

While Sally is recovering after receiving a bullet to the carotid artery, which would have normally been a death sentence, but she was saved by the splendid efforts primarily of Jackson. So with King by her side, she exclaims that Tony Alfanzi's case is shortly to be heard, well done Sally, excellent post, blessings Roy
Typo : if it hadn't of been for you(r) husband,

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the lovely review and kind critique. I have trouble with my missing Rs. Sending you my best today as always,
    Sal XOs
reply by royowen on 16-Aug-2021
    Most welcome
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Sal.

We have reached a place now where the blind girl is out of a prolonged coma. The human interest portion of it was outstanding showing all of the friends and associates she had they were obviously very concerned about the outcome of her injuries. a severed carotid artery is a big one. That certainly takes immediate action to stop the victim from bleeding out.

Waking up to the news that the Tiger's trial is coming up in a month shocked Sally back into the present. They narrative of what happened at the prison with Tony's food service is mysterious. That certainly has the potential of leading to some dangerous circumstances.

PAL Z

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the lovely review and insightful comments, dear Z. Both are so appreciated. Sending you my best today as always,
    Sal XOs
reply by Robert Zimmerman on 16-Aug-2021
    You're welcome Sal.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Sally, this was a wonderful continuation to the story and I have to say it was very well written. I loved the scenes from the hospital. They came across very realistically. Now what? Something is about to happen. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the beautiful review and generous sixer, Ulla dear. Both mean the world to me. Blessings always,
    Sally XOs...