Reviews from

Lost in the Pine Forest

A True Story

20 total reviews 
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Congratulations on you first place win, Sally. You shared a great story. I like that it was true, also. You paint a scary and eerie picture of that place in the pine forest. I was engaged from start to finish to see how you would find your home. What a scary ordeal perfectly told.
Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the lovely review and kind compliments, dearest. Both are so appreciated. Blessings always,
    Sal XOs
Comment from MAMONIA
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

WOW! This was definitely an exciting experience for a seven-year-old. I've done some crazy things when I was young and realize now how foolish they were. But, as a young person will say, curiosity is the reason we seek.
I loved the descriptive way you write and the imagery is totally perfect.
Congratulations on your win, It is most deserving of the prize.
My best,
Marie

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2021
    Thank you very much for your generous review and six star rating. I?m so glad you enjoyed this true story from my childhood. I?ve had it ready to go for sometime just waiting for a contest. Again, I?m so very honored and blessed by the stars and compliments. Thank you again you make me feel so wonderful today and blessed. Sending my very best to you and yours, Sally XOs
Comment from WalkerMan
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Curiosity prompts kids of all ages to do things that are potentially dangerous, especially when done alone with no one else aware of where to look if the child does not come home when expected.

Three things impressed me about your mindset at the time. First, you were wise enough to try to remember where you left the forest, in order to find your way back. Second, you were compassionate rather than fearful about the human skull you found. Third, you were nervous but not panicked by the "red eyes" you could see in the forest in the growing darkness. Instead, you kept your wits about you and found your way home by an alternate route, which included wading across Vickery Creek to reach the old mill.

Yes, you learned from that experience not to do anything similar, thereby preventing a future event with an adverse outcome. From other events you have written about, it seems God's hand is on your shoulder when needed.

Superb, and aptly illustrated.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the lovely review and gracious six stars! It is most appreciated. I'm glad you enjoyed my true story. Sending you my very best,
    Sal :))
reply by WalkerMan on 07-Aug-2021
    You are most welcome, Sal. Congratulations on your win in the contest. :)) -- Mike
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
    Aw, thanks again! I'm delighted!
reply by WalkerMan on 08-Aug-2021
    :))
Comment from Jessica Borras
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I absolutely loved your story. I'm a little surprised about the human skull, though... Is that a common sight up by the Chattahoochee? Very well written, definitely interesting. I'm glad you made it home okay that day!

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the lovely review and generous stars, Jessica! How kind you are. I really appreciate your sweet concern too. :))

    North Georgia is Cherokee County named after the Cherokee tribes. Sending you my very best,
    Sally XOs
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Dear Mystery Writer,

A SKULL!?? And that was just no big deal to you? Wow.

I'm sure your mother was thinking you were just out playing, thank goodness. What would she have said if she only knew? hahaha Did you ever tell her about this?

Thanks!

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
    I was seven. A skull didn't terrify me for some reason. Yes, I told my mother years later. We both were aghast at the retelling of it. I still am. Sending you my best today and many thanks for the wonderful review,
    Sally XOs
Comment from AJ McCall
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I can definitely relate to this story because as I child I used to be scared of getting lost in the store, woods - anywhere where my family wasn't apparent. So now, I make sure I know to take note of landmarks just like you had. And I loved the description of the forest, truly amazing.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2021
    Thank you very much for the wonderful review and generous six star rating, dear AJ. It is most appreciated. I think children generally have a sense of fear. I was more fearless than most mainly because I had to be. My father left us when I was only four.

    Sending you my best today as always,
    Sal XOs
reply by AJ McCall on 10-Aug-2021
    Aww, you're very welcome! I agree as well. You have a lovely day!
Comment from Dortmunder
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello author,

Solid read. Mostly enjoyable, but I didn't overly feel a sense of danger....you touched briefly on some forest animals coming alive at dusk, but for a seven year-old out in the forest alone - the sounds of critters should have been accompanied by a child's imagination amplifying the threat. Basically the sense of urgency that comes with being lost didn't quite seep through for me...you spent a lot of time setting up the "danger" part of the story - the climax if you will - but then gave it minimal attention.

A couple of other thoughts:

A dense pine forest sat in close proximity to our property which sloped dramatically. - Was it the forest or your property that sloped dramatically?

Fath, as we called him, was an avid reader, and oftentimes dozed the afternoon away after a few short pages of the same hardcover novel. - I would suggest a re-write, something like, "Fath, although an avid reader, often napped the afternoon away with a book face-down on his chest." I suggest this because "dozed the afternoon away" doesn't really mean he was asleep, just dozy/drowsy. It strikes me as not concise enough for a short story. Also, "after a few short pages" is superfluous. How many pages it took him to fall asleep is immaterial, and what exactly is a "short page"?

The descent was rocky, and I wished I hadn't worn my nicest school dress and penny loafers. - this doesn't make sense. Why would you be wearing your nicest school dress and penny loafers on a Saturday? Furthermore, as a seven year-old child, would you have really cared about what you were wearing? You're a kid, acting on impulse...but more importantly, you established it was a Saturday, having your nicest school dress on without adequate explanation is puzzling. Furthermore, if it was your nicest school dress, wouldn't your mom have blown a gasket the second you home? Heck, the expectation of your mother's wrath over ruining you nicest school dress seemed like more of a danger point than the brief time you were lost.... Maybe not, just a thought.

All in all, a nice story. The awe-inspiring draw of a forest for a child is recognizable and relatable. Solid idea for the prompt! Good luck!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
    Thank you.
Comment from Patty Palmer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

At seven years old, you had quite an adventure! I can imagine how scary it had to have been for you to be lost in the forest with nightfall coming. Praise the Lord that He was with you that day and basically saved you from yourself. Good luck with the contest!
Patty

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the wonderful review.
reply by Patty Palmer on 08-Aug-2021
    You're welcome!
    Patty
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You had me worried here when you found you were lost! Glad you finally arrived home safely and those wild animals would have been very threatening as night loomed. A well written story here and your cleverly chosen words were entertaining and for this reason you won my vote, good luck, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
    Thank you very much!
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That was a very dramatic story! Interesting and gripping, and written very well with care as to details. The reader could imagine the scene, along with your increasing sense of panic.
Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
    Thank you so much!