The Shining
A light in the night....18 total reviews
Comment from ShirleyT1
You have written a great story for the 75 Word Story writing prompt contest. And I love the photo. It fits perfectly with your well-written words. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
  |
You have written a great story for the 75 Word Story writing prompt contest. And I love the photo. It fits perfectly with your well-written words. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 03-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
-
Thanks so much, Shirley.
I appreciate you taking the time to read, review and enjoy my little contest entry. Have a great day!
Comment from BethShelby
I like the colorful language you use to create a feeling of suspense and fear. The shining sounds as though we are about to witness some horror but the light that breaks dispels all the darkness. What is shining is the morning sun. Nicely written story.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
|
I like the colorful language you use to create a feeling of suspense and fear. The shining sounds as though we are about to witness some horror but the light that breaks dispels all the darkness. What is shining is the morning sun. Nicely written story.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
-
I thank you, Beth.
I am glad you liked my short flash and found a bit of a surprise at the end. I tried to add fear at the beginning and sunshine at the end.
Have a great day!
Comment from Ben Colder
Night sound, red glowing eyes, the sound of Hoot all keep the mind in suspense. Thank God for the morning. Best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
|
Night sound, red glowing eyes, the sound of Hoot all keep the mind in suspense. Thank God for the morning. Best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
-
Thank you for reading, reviewing and wishing me luck. I appreciate it very much. Have a great day!
Comment from Pj Dennison
Your story is excellent. You set the scene really well. There was a beginning and end. I could readily see the theme and plot. The story had a surprise element that left the reader in suspense as the child was still lost. The glow was from the morning sunrise and, not flashlights or people searching for the child. I think your story is an excellent submission for the contest. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
|
Your story is excellent. You set the scene really well. There was a beginning and end. I could readily see the theme and plot. The story had a surprise element that left the reader in suspense as the child was still lost. The glow was from the morning sunrise and, not flashlights or people searching for the child. I think your story is an excellent submission for the contest. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
-
thank you so much for reading, reviewing and wishing me luck.
Have a great day!
-
You are welcome.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Storyteller,
*smile* I enjoyed your innovative and creative descriptions of the sights and sounds in the dark. I can definitely see why it would be scary to a small child. What I DON'T see is the reason a child is out there alone. That's a question I'm sure most of your readers will come away with. Can you offer an answer in the body of your story - or in the notes?
I know you're on a strict word count but I think it would be helpful - otherwise, this isn't as believable, you know?
What if you simply add the word 'lost' before the boy? It probably wouldn't take much to eliminate a different word elsewhere to make room. Just a thought. Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
|
Dear Mystery Storyteller,
*smile* I enjoyed your innovative and creative descriptions of the sights and sounds in the dark. I can definitely see why it would be scary to a small child. What I DON'T see is the reason a child is out there alone. That's a question I'm sure most of your readers will come away with. Can you offer an answer in the body of your story - or in the notes?
I know you're on a strict word count but I think it would be helpful - otherwise, this isn't as believable, you know?
What if you simply add the word 'lost' before the boy? It probably wouldn't take much to eliminate a different word elsewhere to make room. Just a thought. Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 02-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
-
When I wrote it this morning, I thought of my childhood (I grew up in the country, living next to the river, and it just seemed normal. I guess for most, it wouldn't be. I will take a look at it and see if I can work on it.
I might have been lost spiritually when I was young and overwhelmed with life.... but never physically. I might even have been lost mentally. LOL
Have a great day!
Comment from Susan Newell
This is a nice 75-word flash that tells a story of a child lost in the wood overnight. I can't help but think of it as a metaphor for those who are lost in darkness before "seeing" the light of God.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
|
This is a nice 75-word flash that tells a story of a child lost in the wood overnight. I can't help but think of it as a metaphor for those who are lost in darkness before "seeing" the light of God.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
-
Good one, my friend!
I was thinking of my childhood at the time I wrote it, and maybe subconsciously I was thinking the same thing. Now there's a bright light in day! have a terrific day and thank you so much.
-
You are most welcome.
Comment from Beejay
In just 75 words you have hooked me in....
Your words seemed to bounce off the page and I thought the last two lines brought the story to a natural and emotional conclusion.
Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
|
In just 75 words you have hooked me in....
Your words seemed to bounce off the page and I thought the last two lines brought the story to a natural and emotional conclusion.
Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
-
Thank you, Beejay.
I am thrilled that you found enjoyment in this short little contest entry. I tried to pull the reader one way and then bang! back the other way.
Have a great day!
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, this seems to be a story about the transition from night into day in the wild. You do a good job of describing this scene. It reads like something one would have seen on National Geographic back in the day, when NG was good.
Good luck in the contest. 75 words on the dot.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
|
Hmm, this seems to be a story about the transition from night into day in the wild. You do a good job of describing this scene. It reads like something one would have seen on National Geographic back in the day, when NG was good.
Good luck in the contest. 75 words on the dot.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
-
I thank you... I was a tomboy and grew up on the riverbank (it was in my own backyard) Maybe that's why I still love to watch from my back deck as the sun rises and shimmers across the river. Thank you for reading my contest entry.
Have a great day!
