Reviews from

Secrets in the Wind

Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Secrets in the Wind - Chap 16"
A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime

19 total reviews 
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another great chapter. It moved your story along nicely. There is no room for improvement. I look forward to the next chapter. Have a great day.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2021
    I'll just say thank you for catching up with all of them. It takes a lot of time and I truly appreciate it. Hope you enjoy the story.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
Excellent
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Action packed chapter! The written warning, the anticipation in the air--clearly (in my mind anyway) the collusion of at least one of the guards to facilitate the VERY descriptive and brutal attack of both Allie and Cassidy!
Cassidy is a "loose end" for Mason... Can it be as straightforward as him wanting to snip it? I see, and it is in keeping with Cassidy's nature, that the care of her mother was paramount in her going along with the ruse of a trial. Gotta believe both ladies are going to pull through--can't imagine the story without them. Then again, with your sly mind I've learned to expect the unexpected!--Karenina

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
    No, they will be an essential part of the story...especially Cassidy. Where I am now...my mind is wandering (thanks to my friend). I have lost the role, but I am thinking and will be back on track before you get there. Love you, girlfriend.
reply by karenina on 30-Aug-2021
    You stay on your own track--nobody else has the power to derail you. NOBODY. Take a breath. You are a wonderful author. Let nobody deter you!
    Karenina
reply by karenina on 30-Aug-2021
    Well Carol. Your WANDERING mind is 100 times better than my focused one!
    I KNOW you will bring us a wonderful tale...
    You always do!

    Karenina

Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Excellent
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That was some dirty deed that was done. The women were on a mission that had been spelled out for them. From the grossness of the attack, it appears they didn't have a chance. What now?

Ralf

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2021
    Oh my goodness, Ralf.... It appears you have had a busy day trying to catch up on the story. I appreciate that you took the time and found interest enough to want to know exactly what's happening.

    Smiles, Carol
reply by Raffaelina Lowcock on 18-Aug-2021
    Yes, I have fallen behind, I'm working on collecting Bob's stories and poetry, as he asked me to do, for his children.

    God I miss him.,
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2021
    thanks so much Ralf and I knew this was going to be very difficult for you. My thoughts are always with you
Comment from Carol Clark2
Excellent
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Just as Cassidy was opening up, this attack occurs. I'm sure prison life is really rough, and you've shown that very well in this chapter. I'm hoping Allie and Cassidy survive this ordeal, but I shall wait and see. Nice touch with the napkin warning.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2021
    Thanks Carol...I didn't like writing the prison scenes and I wasn't sure I could do them justice...but I needed them so I hope it was realistic.

    Smiles, Carol
reply by Carol Clark2 on 05-Aug-2021
    My only knowledge of prison life comes from TV or books, but it seemed realistic to me.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Excellent
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Uh-oh. Will Allie and Cassidy survive this vicious assault? It looked like a total setup. Those three amazon broads were going in for the kill. And all this, after Cassidy started opening up to Allie!

All that tension in the air ... it was leading up to an attack on the two of them!

Some errors and suggestions:

I gagged to death last Wednesday." Another one added.
-->
I gagged to death last Wednesday," another one added.

to care for her until he got me out of here.
-->
to care for her, until he got me out of here.

kicking and screaming, into the dark steamy room.
-->
kicking and screaming, into the dark, steamy room.

Allie flailed her fists and legs legs.
-->
Allie flailed her fists and legs.

***

I'm sure it's an oversight, but this chapter needs a warning for violence. True, it should be expected by now, but this chapter had more than usual -- the warning would be more for anyone new, just starting to read the story.

Speaking of warnings, the one written on the napkin was too little, too late -- but from whom?

I really hope these two young ladies will survive! This was very well written.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2021
    Thanks for all the help and the wonderful thoughts on another chapter. I appreciate your assistance and kindness all the time.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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The guard was in on the attack by the two "amazons." Well, Allie did get the warning message on the napkin. I wonder if it was wise of Allie and Cassidy talking over lunch where they might be heard. I thought there were guards in the know about Allie - shouldn't they be getting our heroine to the hospital?

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2021
    hi Helen...

    The story has gotten ahead of me I think.... suddenly it owns me and I can't keep up...Yes Allie and Cassidy should have been more careful, but then they aren't seasoned criminals.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from ShirleyT1
Excellent
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Wow! What an amazing chapter. I was sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what was written on the napkin. You do such a great job in setting the stage and then building up to it in your well-written words. Applause for a great chapter!

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
    Hi, shirley

    Thank you... I love the element of surprise in my stories. I want to keep the reader guessing and waiting to see if they are right. I appreciate your kindness.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Carol!!!!

Oh, my stars. What have you done? You evil, evil, brilliant writer. Now, you're going to have to hurry up and get to the next chapter. Allie has to be okay - she's kinda crucial to the story! UGH

One note:
--> A server (handed/shoved) two plates in their direction

You are KILLING me!


 Comment Written 02-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    I just now am finishing the last review from the weekend... and only one message appears to be waiting...So I think I can start writing again.

    So much more is about to be uncovered! Smiles!!!

    Thank you for the awesome review and the glittering stars... They match the devilish glow when you smile so sweet.

    Love ya, Carol
Comment from Teri7
Excellent
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This was a very interesting and well written chapter you have penned. You used very good descriptive words and very good dialogue. I don't usually read this type of stories, but this was very interesting. love and blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Oh, Teri, it's so nice to see you stopping by but I always feel bad when you happen to get one of the "ugly" chapters. I promise there are no more deaths, though much will touch the characters hearts... and our girls are in an ambulance at this time. LOL

    thanks again...Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Judy Lawless
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Another excellent one, Carol. This is so dramatic, and frightening! It seems that Mason has really stacked the deck against Cassidy and Allie. I'm on edge waiting to see what happens next.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Things for Cassidy and Allie should begin to turn around I think... it's time to mellow out a little with the murders and such...but that doesn't mean other things aren't lurking in the shadows. LOL

    Smiles and hugs for the awesome review and stars...Carol