The handsome stranger
Things are not always as they seem7 total reviews
Comment from Bonnie Seach
This story follows the contest requirements.
Spacing paragraphs for easier reading would delight readers and attract them for more posts from this author
Thank you for sharing. Best wishes for the contest
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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This story follows the contest requirements.
Spacing paragraphs for easier reading would delight readers and attract them for more posts from this author
Thank you for sharing. Best wishes for the contest
Comment Written 02-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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Thank you
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👆👌👏🌹
Comment from Versch
This is a very nice story about this handsome pirate, which is a devil disguise as an angel. An effective disguise always fools the innocent victim. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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This is a very nice story about this handsome pirate, which is a devil disguise as an angel. An effective disguise always fools the innocent victim. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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Thank you
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I was totally misled by this one, so congratulations for confounding me!
With so much detail given, and a close viewing from the beach, I was sure we were dealing with a theme park and a ship on a lake.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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I was totally misled by this one, so congratulations for confounding me!
With so much detail given, and a close viewing from the beach, I was sure we were dealing with a theme park and a ship on a lake.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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Thank you 🙂
Comment from Bill Schott
This hundred-word story, The Handsome Stranger, uses the required words, meets the word count challenge, and brings the seduced to the seducer in buccaneer fashion.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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This hundred-word story, The Handsome Stranger, uses the required words, meets the word count challenge, and brings the seduced to the seducer in buccaneer fashion.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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Thank you
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
I count 103 words (twice) tweak to avoid disqualification. As for the story--I like it--good work incorporating the words. Sugg: rework line: acting sheepishly is the opposite of flaunting.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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I count 103 words (twice) tweak to avoid disqualification. As for the story--I like it--good work incorporating the words. Sugg: rework line: acting sheepishly is the opposite of flaunting.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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Ok thank you
Comment from equestrik
This is a good entry for the 100 word story using specific words. You have done a good job and told a story that is entertaining. All the best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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This is a good entry for the 100 word story using specific words. You have done a good job and told a story that is entertaining. All the best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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Thank you
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
What a strange and entertaining little story. *smile* We must be extremely careful of men who suddenly appear and seem too good to be true. I'm sure we'll find that most often, they are!
There were a few places where your sentences were incomplete or did not make sense by themselves and they needed some editing. I've made some suggestions below - which you are welcome to use or to toss, as you prefer. *smile*
You have the main character as your 'friend', but I'm wondering why you can't place yourself (I) as the main character? I think it would make the piece a bit more dramatic and bring the reader closer. Just a thought.
Other:
1.) A mysterious pirate ship appeared (near) a (Caribbean) island
2.) A dark handsome stranger wearing a white pirate suit appeared to be alluring and seductive.
--> not a complete sentence - consider joining it with the next one, like:
--> A dark handsome stranger wearing a white pirate suit held the steering wheel. He was alluring, seductive, and very muscular.
3.) While eyeing this handsome stranger from the beach(, m)y friend slowly approached the ship
--> putting two sentences together so they make sense
Hope this helps. Good luck!
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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Dear Mystery Writer,
What a strange and entertaining little story. *smile* We must be extremely careful of men who suddenly appear and seem too good to be true. I'm sure we'll find that most often, they are!
There were a few places where your sentences were incomplete or did not make sense by themselves and they needed some editing. I've made some suggestions below - which you are welcome to use or to toss, as you prefer. *smile*
You have the main character as your 'friend', but I'm wondering why you can't place yourself (I) as the main character? I think it would make the piece a bit more dramatic and bring the reader closer. Just a thought.
Other:
1.) A mysterious pirate ship appeared (near) a (Caribbean) island
2.) A dark handsome stranger wearing a white pirate suit appeared to be alluring and seductive.
--> not a complete sentence - consider joining it with the next one, like:
--> A dark handsome stranger wearing a white pirate suit held the steering wheel. He was alluring, seductive, and very muscular.
3.) While eyeing this handsome stranger from the beach(, m)y friend slowly approached the ship
--> putting two sentences together so they make sense
Hope this helps. Good luck!
Comment Written 31-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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Thank you