Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

This is very good. Now we know human trafficking is involved as probably the others that go with it. You need to be careful with POV. If they are in a confessional how much of each other can they actually see? You were in Mason's POV when he walked into the church.

In the dimly lit cavity, Mason's cold eyes resembled a cunning wolf crouching beneath the moonlight. (GREAT description!)

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021

Hi Barbara...

With my small experience, I know that when the curtain between the two is pulled back, you can see to the other side. I will go back and check on it though. thanks for the review and for pointing out your observations.

Smiles, Carol

reply by barbara.wilkey on 31-Jul-2021

I honestly don't know. I am not Catholic. I am just curious.

reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021

I'm not Catholic either but when I was about to marry (the kids dad) he was Catholic and I was grilled until I thought they would tie me to a stake and burn me. LOL I finally informed them that I wasn't a hypocrite and I wouldn't become a Catholic...they told Chuck to give them $1000 and it was okay. Really?!?! Now you know where my point of view comes from when it comes to priests. LOL Smiles....

Comment from Bonnie Seach

Excellent

The story unfolds. It is interesting, attention holding and fast moving.
Dialogue advances the gist.
However, increased dialogue line spacing will please the reader by making it easier to instantly know who says what.
Thank you for sharing
Best wishes



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 Comment Written 31-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021

Hi Bonnie...
I did have it spaced differently and then someone complained. i too like it to be easier to read. I'll work on that for you.

Glad you stopped by and enjoyed the chapter.

Smiles, Carol

reply by Bonnie Seach on 31-Jul-2021

Hello, dear Carol. My best advice is don't listen to others. Listen to your gut instincts. If you write to please your readers you will instinctively do it right. You must not write for someone els, for me or even yourself. Write for your readers. They are the ones who will make you a great author. Go for it! 👆👌👏🌹🤗

reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021

I simply love the way you think, Bonnie. I send you a smile and a big hug. have a great day!

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Are they girl trafficking now? Oh my word, that Jon has really been handed to the devil on a plate! Getting his sister put in jail was enough to condemn him. I think he'd be better off if he wrote a confession, sent it to the police then shot himself!!!!
Cynthia is as crooked as they come, she's after the land to get to the gold that Liz knows nothing about. Did she hear anything? I bet she did. Just one nit, you should have said 'Cynthia, not Liz....
"Sorry, guys, but I had company in the kitchen. Liz brought..."

Well done again, my clever friend!! Warmest hugs and love. Sandra xxxx

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 Comment Written 31-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021

thanks for catching me oops! Sandra. I can read and re-read and still miss something. I appreciate it very much.

I agree, Jon is in deeper than he ever intended and now he knows no way out. There's some pretty heavy stuff coming in the next few chapters if I get them written. I am anxious to see what you think.

Thanks for the review and of course for the generous hugs and love...I return them double fold to you. Can't wait for my "fix" tomorrow...LOl

Love ya, Carol