A hitchhiker's guide
Hitchhiking in the country33 total reviews
Comment from Sanku
I liked this down-the -memory-lane story very much.What it is to be young and carefree! and those were the days!
I liked the hitchhiking methods .When you think about it, people were genuine those days...,
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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I liked this down-the -memory-lane story very much.What it is to be young and carefree! and those were the days!
I liked the hitchhiking methods .When you think about it, people were genuine those days...,
Comment Written 28-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your review and I am glad you liked the story.
It is very much appreciated.
Regards,
Mary
Comment from LisaMay
I'm pleased you've written another story of your childhood, Mary - they are alway enjoyable to read. This one is a delight. I used to hitchhike myself, over 50 years ago. People could be trusted then; I doubt if i'd do it now except in an emergency. I used to always stop for hitchhikers too, but I don't see them now.
You described the situation and the characters and the sensations really well. I too hate slimy mud underfoot.
Here's some suggestions:
Yours: Connie, at eight and was a tiny stick-like figure who was so slight, it seemed a slight breeze could knock her over.
Mine: Eight-year-old Connie was a tiny stick-like figure, so slight it seemed a feeble breeze could knock her over.
I think the following, which you have as a single sentence, could be improved by making it into these 2 sentences:
You would always find Shawn with a jar or box to catch crickets, grasshoppers, fireflies, and butterflies. He would study them and tell you all he knew about how they lived, ate, and had babies.
Yours: One was a gray-haired matronly woman dress in a dark blue dress with polka dots and a string of pearls.
Mine: One was a gray-haired matronly woman who was clothed in a dark blue dress with polka dots and a string of pearls.
Yours: It was a much larger swimming hole and we no longer had to hit the road. I no longer had to worry about snapping turtles, weeds, or cattails; however, I could still feel the slimy mud oozing between my toes.
Mine (to avoid repetition of 'no longer'): It was a much larger swimming hole and we no longer had to hit the road. There we did not have to worry about snapping turtles, weeds, or cattails; however, I could still feel the slimy mud oozing between my toes.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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I'm pleased you've written another story of your childhood, Mary - they are alway enjoyable to read. This one is a delight. I used to hitchhike myself, over 50 years ago. People could be trusted then; I doubt if i'd do it now except in an emergency. I used to always stop for hitchhikers too, but I don't see them now.
You described the situation and the characters and the sensations really well. I too hate slimy mud underfoot.
Here's some suggestions:
Yours: Connie, at eight and was a tiny stick-like figure who was so slight, it seemed a slight breeze could knock her over.
Mine: Eight-year-old Connie was a tiny stick-like figure, so slight it seemed a feeble breeze could knock her over.
I think the following, which you have as a single sentence, could be improved by making it into these 2 sentences:
You would always find Shawn with a jar or box to catch crickets, grasshoppers, fireflies, and butterflies. He would study them and tell you all he knew about how they lived, ate, and had babies.
Yours: One was a gray-haired matronly woman dress in a dark blue dress with polka dots and a string of pearls.
Mine: One was a gray-haired matronly woman who was clothed in a dark blue dress with polka dots and a string of pearls.
Yours: It was a much larger swimming hole and we no longer had to hit the road. I no longer had to worry about snapping turtles, weeds, or cattails; however, I could still feel the slimy mud oozing between my toes.
Mine (to avoid repetition of 'no longer'): It was a much larger swimming hole and we no longer had to hit the road. There we did not have to worry about snapping turtles, weeds, or cattails; however, I could still feel the slimy mud oozing between my toes.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your kind words and review, it is much appreciated.
As to your suggestions, I truly appreciate each and every one. I used them all with only one word I did not change and that was feeble. It felt out of place in common usage here.
Thank you for taking the time to improve my piece.
Regards,
Mary
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Your choice of 'weak' breeze is much better.
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Thank you. I did not realize I used slight twice. Thank you for the correction.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You did a good job of describing a wonderful time to live. And I only found two errors in proofreading. In Connie's paragraph you used "slight" twice in same line. "One was a . . . dress(ed). Your main problem is in paragraphing. You need a blank line between paragraphs. So when different people are talking or the subject changes, you put in a blank line. e.g. in the paragraph about the matronly woman, you need to have one sentence follow the other. None should have more than one space after a period. I'd like to read more stories about your family fun.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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You did a good job of describing a wonderful time to live. And I only found two errors in proofreading. In Connie's paragraph you used "slight" twice in same line. "One was a . . . dress(ed). Your main problem is in paragraphing. You need a blank line between paragraphs. So when different people are talking or the subject changes, you put in a blank line. e.g. in the paragraph about the matronly woman, you need to have one sentence follow the other. None should have more than one space after a period. I'd like to read more stories about your family fun.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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Thank you
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brilliantly evocative--flawlessly narrated with delightful touches of humor, rich in detail, rendered in lush imagery, a charming and uplifting story! This would have been a contest winner.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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Brilliantly evocative--flawlessly narrated with delightful touches of humor, rich in detail, rendered in lush imagery, a charming and uplifting story! This would have been a contest winner.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your kind words and review. Your review is especially appreciated.
Regards,
Mary
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fine story Mary and of course hitchhiking is dangerous these days but here there is much innocence in enjoying the countryside and getting about with the aid of generous people who agree to give a ride to a stranger, a fun write, you entertained me, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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A fine story Mary and of course hitchhiking is dangerous these days but here there is much innocence in enjoying the countryside and getting about with the aid of generous people who agree to give a ride to a stranger, a fun write, you entertained me, love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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Thank you Dolly for your kind review. It is truly appreciated.
Best wishes.
Mary
Comment from Gert sherwood
A hitchhiker's guide
Mary Vigasin
I had do much fun reading you story about how you and your friends hitchhiked. There are so many parts I had to smile, Here is one.---
The two waifs often did not even have to thumb it. A driver seeing them would stop to offer a ride to Connie and Shawn. What the driver did not know was that there were 5 of us lying flat in a ditch waiting to spring out when the car or truck stopped.
Gert
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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A hitchhiker's guide
Mary Vigasin
I had do much fun reading you story about how you and your friends hitchhiked. There are so many parts I had to smile, Here is one.---
The two waifs often did not even have to thumb it. A driver seeing them would stop to offer a ride to Connie and Shawn. What the driver did not know was that there were 5 of us lying flat in a ditch waiting to spring out when the car or truck stopped.
Gert
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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Thank you Gert for your rating. I am so glad you enjoyed the story.
Your kind comments are greatly appreciated.
Regards,
Mary
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Mary Vigasin
You are most welcome
Gert
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You told a great and funny story, Mary. I enjoyed reading it. I believe hitchhiking was much safer then. The swimming hole sounded dangerous. I believe, Sylvester probably saw the five hidden kids in the ditch since he sat up high on the tractor. Your lines read smoothly with great details.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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You told a great and funny story, Mary. I enjoyed reading it. I believe hitchhiking was much safer then. The swimming hole sounded dangerous. I believe, Sylvester probably saw the five hidden kids in the ditch since he sat up high on the tractor. Your lines read smoothly with great details.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your kind comments and review, Jan. It was truly appreciated.
Regards,
Mary
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, A Hitchhiker's Guide, sounds like some fun experiences for a bunch of kids on their own for entertainment. Nowadays, of course, no parent would dream of having their kids hitch to a wild lake. How have we improved from this neat freedom?
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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This story, A Hitchhiker's Guide, sounds like some fun experiences for a bunch of kids on their own for entertainment. Nowadays, of course, no parent would dream of having their kids hitch to a wild lake. How have we improved from this neat freedom?
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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Thank you Bill. I truly appreciate your review. I agree that we seemed to have lost a lot. Now there are "playdates" rather than spontaneous play.
Regards
Mary
Comment from J. Dennis
It was a long time ago that hitchhiking was just that, a was to obtain transportation. In this present time, I would be so careful. (Just my soapbox word.)
In your fiction piece, this event was in the good old days. I have not heard of a multiple hitchhiker time but your story proved that it could be done and in good taste.
The kids were strategists who planned well with the young kids. They knew were they could go to have fun. They also stayed together as a group to have fun.
I enjoyed reading about the two people who gave rides. Your story flowed and entertained well.
Things were much nicer when we were young. You showed that fact.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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It was a long time ago that hitchhiking was just that, a was to obtain transportation. In this present time, I would be so careful. (Just my soapbox word.)
In your fiction piece, this event was in the good old days. I have not heard of a multiple hitchhiker time but your story proved that it could be done and in good taste.
The kids were strategists who planned well with the young kids. They knew were they could go to have fun. They also stayed together as a group to have fun.
I enjoyed reading about the two people who gave rides. Your story flowed and entertained well.
Things were much nicer when we were young. You showed that fact.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for your kind comments and review.
It is greatly appreciated.
Regards
Mary
Comment from humpwhistle
I like this slice of life from a different time. I admire the characters, and the little things that distinguished them. I particularly got a kick out of the array of names--Oogie, Cricket, and Cocoa are charming... as is the entire story. Well done.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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I like this slice of life from a different time. I admire the characters, and the little things that distinguished them. I particularly got a kick out of the array of names--Oogie, Cricket, and Cocoa are charming... as is the entire story. Well done.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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Thank you lee. I truly appreciate your kind comments and review.
Best wishes
Mary
