The La-Z-Boy Boogie
Wandering thoughts.44 total reviews
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hey Ric.
This is an outstanding story for style and content. The detailed narrative and the dream sequence carries the reader along with it. You have some very creative lines in this story. I think my favorite is, "confidentiality's snugglers can hardly wait to tattle, with eager ears anxious to listen."
Most people don't think like that, let alone write like that. I like the description of the body as it wears out. I hear those noises and feel those shocks of pain every day. it reminds me I'm still alive.
The narration shifts from a dream of a ship adventure into a friendly trespasser that ends the dream. That's a great transition.
I have been an avid golfer for 40 years So I loved the narrative about golf. I used to be quite good at the game but now I'm lucky to finish the round standing. Many years ago I wrote a story comparing a round of golf to life. I may go back and dust it off and see if it's worth updating.
I appreciate your writing because not only are the stories worth reading and enjoyable, but the style is excellent. The stories move from front to back and are real stories. (That is an objective lost on many writers)
Write more of them. I'll be reading them.
Robert
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
  |
Hey Ric.
This is an outstanding story for style and content. The detailed narrative and the dream sequence carries the reader along with it. You have some very creative lines in this story. I think my favorite is, "confidentiality's snugglers can hardly wait to tattle, with eager ears anxious to listen."
Most people don't think like that, let alone write like that. I like the description of the body as it wears out. I hear those noises and feel those shocks of pain every day. it reminds me I'm still alive.
The narration shifts from a dream of a ship adventure into a friendly trespasser that ends the dream. That's a great transition.
I have been an avid golfer for 40 years So I loved the narrative about golf. I used to be quite good at the game but now I'm lucky to finish the round standing. Many years ago I wrote a story comparing a round of golf to life. I may go back and dust it off and see if it's worth updating.
I appreciate your writing because not only are the stories worth reading and enjoyable, but the style is excellent. The stories move from front to back and are real stories. (That is an objective lost on many writers)
Write more of them. I'll be reading them.
Robert
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
-
Good morning, Robert--
I can't thank you enough for starting my day off giddy and smiling bigger than a possum eating . . . well, you know. I'm just happy you picked up on all my flaky, flittering thoughts. I love sports of all kind, but thought of golf as something I could excel at throughout my older years. Now, three sets of clubs sit in the garage covered in dust and cobwebs. I quit. After my second broken neck, I could just never get it back. Once consistent 350-yard/plus drives turned into painful 250-yards tops, and scores mostly in the lower 70s or less where exchanged for the 80s, and even that was a struggle. Needing something to do, I joined FanStory, not knowing a noun from a verb, and having always had someone to write even my personal letters, it would be a challenge. And it has been, taking a long time, but no different than anything we ever strived and learned to get good at. As a true fan of the way you think, your knowledge, and wordsmith skills that shine, I couldn't be happier when you enjoy reading this old hack's scribbles.
I appreciate YOU . . . and all your kindness and encouragement! Ric
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Well, you dreamt a good one, albeit you didn't get to finish it in style. But, hey you did it; that last post has the meat for another story that you may deem to write in the future.
Ralf
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
 |
Well, you dreamt a good one, albeit you didn't get to finish it in style. But, hey you did it; that last post has the meat for another story that you may deem to write in the future.
Ralf
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
-
Thanks, Ralf, for taking time to read and review. Your generous and encouraging reviews are always greatly appreciated!
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Wow. What a wonderful dream. I like the description of the waves in the sea. Yes the Carnival cruise ride would be much smoother. I also like the dive into the Niagara Falls and I'm a little confused by the following line:
the ship's nose shifted upward,
I guess it is a dream so it doesn't have to be logical.
Well done and write more pieces of your dream.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
|
Wow. What a wonderful dream. I like the description of the waves in the sea. Yes the Carnival cruise ride would be much smoother. I also like the dive into the Niagara Falls and I'm a little confused by the following line:
the ship's nose shifted upward,
I guess it is a dream so it doesn't have to be logical.
Well done and write more pieces of your dream.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
-
Thank you so much, Lisa, for your kinds words and generous review. Thanks for bringing it to my attention that "the ship's nose shifted upward," could be written in a more easily understood way. I'll work on that. I simply was trying to convey that after the dive, the ship's nose shifted in a upward position back toward the sky, which is intended to be logical. But then with me, logic can be a slippery slope. LOL. Thanks again for your encouraging and kind review.
Comment from royowen
Being an athlete when I was young, if someone had told me that I would be writing as a hobby later in life, I would have said they were "Only dreaming" but yet here I am. Just loved this Ric, you're a man after my own heart, a good writer, skilful in your art. Well done, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
|
Being an athlete when I was young, if someone had told me that I would be writing as a hobby later in life, I would have said they were "Only dreaming" but yet here I am. Just loved this Ric, you're a man after my own heart, a good writer, skilful in your art. Well done, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
-
Thank you so much, Roy, for another of your touching reviews that always hit a soft spot with me. I would have never thought of you as someone who wasn't born with an overabundance of talent, highly educated, and who had spend countless hours honing their skills over a lifetime of daily persistence. As an old roughneck boy who didn't know a noun from a verb so very few years ago when I came to FanStory, I'm just honored and choked up that such a talented wordsmith and writer would include the words skillful and art in a sentence with my name. Thanks again, and I appreciate your kindness!
-
Good job my friend
