Secrets in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Secrets in the Wind - Chap 8"A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime
22 total reviews
Comment from karenina
I am constantly amazed at how many balls you can juggle at one time! I'm reeling from what I've learned thus far and oh, what I see coming--as you are a master at braiding many plotlines together in an unexpected and entertaining way! Love that Garth and Hank are now "back"--although even if someone did not follow your previous story/book they are engaging characters! I'm adding that devious Cynthia to my list (along with that priest who gave me the creeps previously)--somethings rotten in Denmark with her! Nice touch with the Birth Certificate and Adoption Notices beginning this chapter! --Karenina
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
  |
I am constantly amazed at how many balls you can juggle at one time! I'm reeling from what I've learned thus far and oh, what I see coming--as you are a master at braiding many plotlines together in an unexpected and entertaining way! Love that Garth and Hank are now "back"--although even if someone did not follow your previous story/book they are engaging characters! I'm adding that devious Cynthia to my list (along with that priest who gave me the creeps previously)--somethings rotten in Denmark with her! Nice touch with the Birth Certificate and Adoption Notices beginning this chapter! --Karenina
Comment Written 30-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
-
I had to read each review before I could stop and write to you. It was the very best medicine I could ask for. I just wanted to know that you got the story, and from what you are writing, you can see the twists and turns. I AM BEYOND THRILLED!
I needed to know that people liked and understood the characters like Hank and Garth. Most of the action is with the others, but we would never solve the crime without them.
Yes, we must look out for Cynthia.... many said to look out for her pies. LOL
-
Hah! In order not to be influenced I write my review first...and then I peruse the other reviews for that chapter. I did crack up that everyone was of a like mind about that witch Cynthia! Garth and Hank are like old friends... Loving this!
Karenina
Comment from eliz100
This is another great installment. I enjoyed reading it from beginning to end. I do not see any room for improvement. I look forward to the next installment.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
|
This is another great installment. I enjoyed reading it from beginning to end. I do not see any room for improvement. I look forward to the next installment.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
-
thanks again for continuing to read and enjoy the story. I am thrilled when someone enjoys my writing.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Great dialogue between the various characters, including a couple of new ones you've introduced. We get to see that Jeremy is really Garth, and acquainted with Hank Armato. Cynthia could have something up her sleeve, but at best, she's a tactless person, intruding upon Elizabeth's grief. Michael doesn't seem like much of an improvement. But they're not on the list of characters, so maybe they're not major players in this drama?
Minor errors and suggestions:
A little game of tug and war.....
-->
A little game of tug of war....
"By the way, I enjoyed the sparks flying between you and Allie.
-->
"By the way, I enjoyed the sparks flying between you and Allie."
Faith Cranston-Newton - daughter of the Ted and Meredith Cranston
-->
Faith Cranston-Newton - daughter of Ted and Meredith Cranston
***
I would be very surprised if a romance doesn't blossom between Allie and Jeremy/Garth.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
|
Great dialogue between the various characters, including a couple of new ones you've introduced. We get to see that Jeremy is really Garth, and acquainted with Hank Armato. Cynthia could have something up her sleeve, but at best, she's a tactless person, intruding upon Elizabeth's grief. Michael doesn't seem like much of an improvement. But they're not on the list of characters, so maybe they're not major players in this drama?
Minor errors and suggestions:
A little game of tug and war.....
-->
A little game of tug of war....
"By the way, I enjoyed the sparks flying between you and Allie.
-->
"By the way, I enjoyed the sparks flying between you and Allie."
Faith Cranston-Newton - daughter of the Ted and Meredith Cranston
-->
Faith Cranston-Newton - daughter of Ted and Meredith Cranston
***
I would be very surprised if a romance doesn't blossom between Allie and Jeremy/Garth.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
-
Good afternoon, Mary Kay
Another down and thank you. My back is beginning to scream at me but I hope to finish the reviews first. (and the fixes)
Smiles, Carol
-
You're very welcome, Carol. Oh, you also suffer from back pain? Sounds like we have something in common -- not a club you want to be in! I usually have it more when I do more activity, but my poor Mom, she seems to have it almost constantly. I hope and pray that you'll get relief. God bless you, my friend. Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I loved this one, and now Jeremy's cover is totally blown to Liz, and Garth is BACK! Love it. But what trail is he on if he's not with Hank? I have two more parts to read, how delicious!! The Cynthia would make my skin crawl, how dare she presume so much? I hate nosey neighbours! Well done, Carol, I'm off to the next part. :)) Sandra xxxx
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
|
I loved this one, and now Jeremy's cover is totally blown to Liz, and Garth is BACK! Love it. But what trail is he on if he's not with Hank? I have two more parts to read, how delicious!! The Cynthia would make my skin crawl, how dare she presume so much? I hate nosey neighbours! Well done, Carol, I'm off to the next part. :)) Sandra xxxx
Comment Written 22-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
-
Hi, Sandra...
I think you are the first person to pick up on the fact that Cynthia isn't quite the chummy neighbor and friend she professes to be. I loved when you said she made your skin crawl.... we will watch out for her. And Garth is in town for something entirely different...or at least he thinks his case is unrelated. We shall see!
Semding my love, Carol
-
Really? I didn't like her as soon as she thought it her right to barge in without knocking and without invitation. Hmm, yep, a definite nasty one there. :)))
-
Yes, here mind is spinning around trying to figure out her next move
LOL
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Hank has arrived and then who should pop up but his friend Garth sporting another name (undercover). A total misdirected action on the part of Liz's neighbour, bringing her nephew who is a realtor to talk about the property. A bit of a mixed bag here to be straightened out shortly.
Ralf
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
|
Hank has arrived and then who should pop up but his friend Garth sporting another name (undercover). A total misdirected action on the part of Liz's neighbour, bringing her nephew who is a realtor to talk about the property. A bit of a mixed bag here to be straightened out shortly.
Ralf
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
-
Watch out for Cynthia too... I am not sure she is all that she protests to be... a good friend and neighbor. And her nephew has his eyes on the estate as well...Hmmmm
Smiles, Carol
-
That thickens the plot.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Another great chapter, Carol. I like the way you introduced "Jeremy" to Cynthia and Liz, and showed his presence to Hank. Not quite sure why his cover was revealed to Allie. Hope she can be trusted. Lol
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
|
Another great chapter, Carol. I like the way you introduced "Jeremy" to Cynthia and Liz, and showed his presence to Hank. Not quite sure why his cover was revealed to Allie. Hope she can be trusted. Lol
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
-
Thanks, Judy....
I think Allie (the great investigative reporter) would have figured something was up .... so why not get her on your side. Though Jeremy didn't reveal what he was actually doing in town.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from lancellot
Very interesting. It is a dialogue heavy chapter with lots of moving parts. I think everything looks to be well written and the different personalities easily comes through. I take it that this is a small town, by how the doors are open and people just walk in.
Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
|
Very interesting. It is a dialogue heavy chapter with lots of moving parts. I think everything looks to be well written and the different personalities easily comes through. I take it that this is a small town, by how the doors are open and people just walk in.
Well done.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
-
Hello, lancellot...
You are right in assuming it is a small town hiding large secrets...so much is happening behind closed doors. Thanks for the review.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I love it. Poor Allie, she's going to have a problem with Garth, but don't we all? LOL
The man standing next to him, with Stetson in hand, turned from the window as Hank entered. (standing beside him)
Also you have 2 sets of italics, and they are both in different POV's. You need to keep an eye on who's POV you're in.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
|
I love it. Poor Allie, she's going to have a problem with Garth, but don't we all? LOL
The man standing next to him, with Stetson in hand, turned from the window as Hank entered. (standing beside him)
Also you have 2 sets of italics, and they are both in different POV's. You need to keep an eye on who's POV you're in.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
-
Thanks for reviewing and making the suggestions, Barbara. I guess I assumed since they were thoughts it would be acceptable...but you know how I am... My mind is so confused right now, I don't know how I continue to write.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from nancy_e_davis
There was a lot going on in this chapter. I don't think Allie is happy with the situation. Sparks were flying between Allie
and Garth and Hank found it to be amusing. There is an abundance of investigators available. Someone is bound to dig up a clue or two. LOL Nancy:)
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
|
There was a lot going on in this chapter. I don't think Allie is happy with the situation. Sparks were flying between Allie
and Garth and Hank found it to be amusing. There is an abundance of investigators available. Someone is bound to dig up a clue or two. LOL Nancy:)
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
-
Hi Nancy....
Yes, there are more than one mystery going on and it will be difficult to discover who is doing what and when. Thanks for following the story.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from dmt1967
"Why don't I set your nephew and his friend straight, and I'm sure everything will be fine." Hank walked out of the study (in search of Cynthia's nephew and friend.) This is very repetitive. (to find them)
I think this is a good story but I found it very telling. Try and show their emotions more. Also, I found your action tags didn't really add to the story. Your dialogue showed the characters feelings and actions and the action tags merely echoed them.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you are well.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
|
"Why don't I set your nephew and his friend straight, and I'm sure everything will be fine." Hank walked out of the study (in search of Cynthia's nephew and friend.) This is very repetitive. (to find them)
I think this is a good story but I found it very telling. Try and show their emotions more. Also, I found your action tags didn't really add to the story. Your dialogue showed the characters feelings and actions and the action tags merely echoed them.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you are well.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
-
Thanks so much for your suggestions and the review. I really shouldn't write when I am dealing with "life"... though it helps me to focus, it steals the emotions from my characters (if that makes any sense). I shall try harder and also make some changes.
Thanks...Carol
