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Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Why Crow is Black"With their call stalled, Liz & Linda begin walking
8 total reviews
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This is an engaging story, told in this chapter. The young people seem to be interesting characters. I'm sorry I'm coming into your story so late, as human trafficking is a topic that concerns me very much, as well as my husband, my friends and my church.
I found a few minor errors:
just as yellow is for the rising sun in the East so to, is black the appropriate color for the setting sun.
-->
just as yellow is for the rising sun in the East, so, too, is black the appropriate color for the setting sun.
There had a promise made to not interrupt him.
-->
There had been a promise made to not interrupt him.
"Without warning one of the older men snatched the crow ...
-->
"Without warning, one of the older men snatched the crow ...
***
Your notes are helpful and the artwork is very compelling and appropriate.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2021
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This is an engaging story, told in this chapter. The young people seem to be interesting characters. I'm sorry I'm coming into your story so late, as human trafficking is a topic that concerns me very much, as well as my husband, my friends and my church.
I found a few minor errors:
just as yellow is for the rising sun in the East so to, is black the appropriate color for the setting sun.
-->
just as yellow is for the rising sun in the East, so, too, is black the appropriate color for the setting sun.
There had a promise made to not interrupt him.
-->
There had been a promise made to not interrupt him.
"Without warning one of the older men snatched the crow ...
-->
"Without warning, one of the older men snatched the crow ...
***
Your notes are helpful and the artwork is very compelling and appropriate.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your supportive review. It's finny, you should point out this: "the East, so, too, is black." someone corrected me on the too. So I changed it. But it substiutes also..doesn't it...bwaaa. I'm changing it again.
We are at the culmination of many adventures based upon the two ladies rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation.. I invite you to read the first 13 chapters in my portfolio about the rescue. Every chapter is suspenseful. There is no need to write a review. Others have done this too. I see there are up to 50+ views. I just want you to treat it like a book you might read to enjoy. ***Spoiler *** Tommy, offers the ladies a place to rest & enjoy some of his cooking. He is on his way to a food festival & there is a traffic jam because of brush fires. The irony is he is the brother of one of the girls who are rescued. Enjoy it if you have the opportunity.
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You're very welcome, Liz. You changed it, and then it changed back, on its own? That's very strange.
Thank you for the "preview" of the backstop. Wow, you had a lot of views! That's great. God bless you.
Love, Mary Kay xoxo
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I mean I originally wrote too. Then after a reviewer pointed it out as it should be to...I took the o ...off then as I saw it again with your pointing it out...I thought,'Yuh it I was right originally.'
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Oh, wow! So many opinions, lol. I'm sure it's right now :-)
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Chapter of the Fiction speaks interestingly a cultural and mythical use of colours with some true practices worldwide with use of colours in directions; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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This Chapter of the Fiction speaks interestingly a cultural and mythical use of colours with some true practices worldwide with use of colours in directions; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 23-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your appreciative review. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Liz:
Is Tommy an American Native Chef or Chief? I'm a bit confused about this. I find this to be a great story about why crows are black. Did you know crows are also the smartest birds in the world? They never get hit by a car in the road because their companions sit on the electric wires and warn them when traffic is coming by calling out, "Caw! Caw! Caw!"
Jan
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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Liz:
Is Tommy an American Native Chef or Chief? I'm a bit confused about this. I find this to be a great story about why crows are black. Did you know crows are also the smartest birds in the world? They never get hit by a car in the road because their companions sit on the electric wires and warn them when traffic is coming by calling out, "Caw! Caw! Caw!"
Jan
Comment Written 22-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your involved review. I did not know that about crows. There's a kind of humor to that. Tommy is a chef. I guess I didn't need to ad that this time in my notes, good point.
You're coming in cold into this story. I've had similar experiences. But fortunately this chapter can stand alone and be appreciated.
We are at the culmination of many adventures based upon the two ladies rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation.. I invite you to read the first 13 chapters in my portfolio about the rescue. Every chapter is suspenseful. There is no need to write a review. Others have done this too. I see there are up to 50+ views. I just want you to treat it like a book you might read to enjoy. ***Spoiler *** Tommy, offers the ladies a place to rest & enjoy some of his cooking. He is on his way to a food festival & there is a traffic jam because of brush fires. The irony is he is the brother of one of the girls who are rescued. Enjoy it if you have the opportunity.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Thanks for sharing another piece of the Crow Nation history. Probably none of us had been aware of the different colors used to represent different tribes, before reading your story.
One spag: "They were worried their people (would) starve if they couldn't outwit the buffalo
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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Thanks for sharing another piece of the Crow Nation history. Probably none of us had been aware of the different colors used to represent different tribes, before reading your story.
One spag: "They were worried their people (would) starve if they couldn't outwit the buffalo
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your appreciative review. I'm glad it is having the impact I hoped for.
Comment from aryr
This was a great continuation chapter, Liz and it definitely explains why the Crow Nation uses black for the west. Tommy relayed the story very well and did justice to the story. Very well done and immensely enjoyed.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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This was a great continuation chapter, Liz and it definitely explains why the Crow Nation uses black for the west. Tommy relayed the story very well and did justice to the story. Very well done and immensely enjoyed.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your ever delightful reviews. I'm pleased you enjoyed it so.
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You are so very welcome Liz.
Comment from Pj Dennison
Ya'at'eeh Abini Liz. (Good morning in Navajo) I haven't heard how Crow got his colors in a long time. Tommy told the story very well. I like the way you described Tommy's hand language as he told the story. It made the story even more realistic. I could see all three of them in the car as if I were a fourth person. I guess tomorrow they will be in the garage and I wonder what else will happen. I am waiting eagerly for your next chapter. There were a couple of possible edits. Please see the suggestions below.
Tommy saw his opening and told them that just as yellow is for the rising sun in the East so too is black the appropriate color for the setting sun. (( so too?)) This sentence is a little confusing perhaps try adding some punctuation and delete (so too)
EXAMPLE
Tommy saw his opening and told them that just as yellow is for the rising sun in the East, black is also an appropriate color for the setting sun.
They would use everything from the kill. Unlike many (non-Natives), (these) Indigenous people wasted nothing.
This is a place when capitalization is not necessary for the word native unless it is being used as a noun. The word natives can be referring to any person regardless of their race from a country or place. EXAMPLE: He was a native of Georgia.) However, if you make it lower case the rest of your sentence will explain that non-natives it referring to Indigenous people. Also, consider deleting the word "these."
EXAMPLE: They would use everything from the kill unlike many non-natives, Indigenous people wasted nothing.
NOTE:
Always capitalize Indigenous, Aboriginal, First Nation, Inuit, Crow as a sign of respect the same way that English, French, and Spanish, etc, are capitalized. Avoid using possessive phrases like "Canada's Indigenous Peoples" or "our Indigenous Peoples" as that has connotations of ownership.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Ya'at'eeh Abini Liz. (Good morning in Navajo) I haven't heard how Crow got his colors in a long time. Tommy told the story very well. I like the way you described Tommy's hand language as he told the story. It made the story even more realistic. I could see all three of them in the car as if I were a fourth person. I guess tomorrow they will be in the garage and I wonder what else will happen. I am waiting eagerly for your next chapter. There were a couple of possible edits. Please see the suggestions below.
Tommy saw his opening and told them that just as yellow is for the rising sun in the East so too is black the appropriate color for the setting sun. (( so too?)) This sentence is a little confusing perhaps try adding some punctuation and delete (so too)
EXAMPLE
Tommy saw his opening and told them that just as yellow is for the rising sun in the East, black is also an appropriate color for the setting sun.
They would use everything from the kill. Unlike many (non-Natives), (these) Indigenous people wasted nothing.
This is a place when capitalization is not necessary for the word native unless it is being used as a noun. The word natives can be referring to any person regardless of their race from a country or place. EXAMPLE: He was a native of Georgia.) However, if you make it lower case the rest of your sentence will explain that non-natives it referring to Indigenous people. Also, consider deleting the word "these."
EXAMPLE: They would use everything from the kill unlike many non-natives, Indigenous people wasted nothing.
NOTE:
Always capitalize Indigenous, Aboriginal, First Nation, Inuit, Crow as a sign of respect the same way that English, French, and Spanish, etc, are capitalized. Avoid using possessive phrases like "Canada's Indigenous Peoples" or "our Indigenous Peoples" as that has connotations of ownership.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your ever delightful and supportive reviews. I will review your suggestions.
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You are very welcome! I really enjoy reading your book.
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thank you. We are winding down. I think 2 more chapters left. I'm glad to have had you along for the support and direction.
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You are welcome. I am glad to be on the journey as we walk the red road. The red road's concept is walking the right path of life, as inspired by some of the beliefs found in a variety of Native American spiritual teachings. On the Navajo rez is someone has sidetracked on their journey and has harmful habits and behaviors the elder will say"He doesn't walk the right way." They are not Hozho or balanced and would benefit from a healing ceremony. Hozho is said to be the most important word in the Navajo language and is loosely translated as peace, balance, beauty and, harmony. To be ?in Hozho? is to be at one with and a part of the world around you.
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I am keeping a file on all of the info you give me. I am continuously stretching myself to learn more. You have contributed greatly. Thank you.
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You are welcome. Just send a message anytime you may need information you think I might know. It has been a pleasure assisting you in research and in reading your story.
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***smile***
Comment from Mabaker12
When I was in grade school we learned a lot of stories and one I remember "Why the Crow is Black.' IT went something like this "Once Crow was hungry but being lazy fella he'd rather steal another's food than get his own. He saw Kangaroo had something cooking over a fire and decided he'd have some. As he approached the food he tried to pull it away but Kangaroo grabbed him and a great fight started with crow being dragged through the coals and ashes of the fire. He managed to escape but as punishment his once white feathers were for evermore black. Love U Anne.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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When I was in grade school we learned a lot of stories and one I remember "Why the Crow is Black.' IT went something like this "Once Crow was hungry but being lazy fella he'd rather steal another's food than get his own. He saw Kangaroo had something cooking over a fire and decided he'd have some. As he approached the food he tried to pull it away but Kangaroo grabbed him and a great fight started with crow being dragged through the coals and ashes of the fire. He managed to escape but as punishment his once white feathers were for evermore black. Love U Anne.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your ever delightful reviews. This is a great story of why poor crow is black. I think in one, he flies too close to the sun. It is interesting to know how many cultures have stories like this along with creation stories, flood stories, and there is even the Tower of Babel in some. Oh I just noticed the shiny one too.
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You are very welcome Liz.
Comment from lyenochka
Hooray! Tommy got to complete his story without any interruptions! And I liked how the ladies kept their promise to not interrupt by sitting on their hands since they can't talk without their hands. Interesting story. There's a similar Crow story in Aussie aboriginal stories.
One sentence made me pause:
There had a promise made (Sounds odd. Maybe They made a promise --or-- A promise had been made ??)
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Hooray! Tommy got to complete his story without any interruptions! And I liked how the ladies kept their promise to not interrupt by sitting on their hands since they can't talk without their hands. Interesting story. There's a similar Crow story in Aussie aboriginal stories.
One sentence made me pause:
There had a promise made (Sounds odd. Maybe They made a promise --or-- A promise had been made ??)
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your ever delightful & supportive reviews. Ugh. I thought I had that sentence sorted out. Thank you.