Heart Crafted Poems -2021
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Red Barn"Musings of an old man -2021
24 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
What a great little story you interpreted from the picture provided. I enjoyed the descriptions, the alliteration, the occasional rhyme as you took us through this day. Nicely done JLR,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
  |
What a great little story you interpreted from the picture provided. I enjoyed the descriptions, the alliteration, the occasional rhyme as you took us through this day. Nicely done JLR,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 28-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for reading my little sojourn into times and travels passed 🙏
Comment from Anne Johnston
Beautiful picture and well-chosen words to describe your grandparent's farm and the red barn. Such great memories of childhood to cherish forever. This is a joy to read.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
|
Beautiful picture and well-chosen words to describe your grandparent's farm and the red barn. Such great memories of childhood to cherish forever. This is a joy to read.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2021
-
Thank you Anne, I hope your week brings loads of sunshine.🙏
-
You are welcome
Comment from Janet Foor
Great job with your free verse poem. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your well chosen words full of vivid imagery It brought back many memories of my Grandma's apple pies and the trips to the farm.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
|
Great job with your free verse poem. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your well chosen words full of vivid imagery It brought back many memories of my Grandma's apple pies and the trips to the farm.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
-
I am so grateful! 🙏🙏
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Vividly evocative. You nailed autumn: as the first evening came too soon.
This would have worked well rendered as prose.
SUGG:
hyphenate road-weary and sun-sweetened
Grams=>Gram's (two places)
capitalize Creekstone Farm Lane
Wakening the following [OMIT COMMA] morn
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
|
Vividly evocative. You nailed autumn: as the first evening came too soon.
This would have worked well rendered as prose.
SUGG:
hyphenate road-weary and sun-sweetened
Grams=>Gram's (two places)
capitalize Creekstone Farm Lane
Wakening the following [OMIT COMMA] morn
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
-
Elizabeth, as always you deliver that perfect visual review and most accurate compositional enhancements, I so value your comments! 🙏 Thank you!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Great entry for the Fabulous Free Versers Club. Good free verse form. You used descriptive words and imagery. The poem flows nicely. It was easy to visualize the farm. It would be fun to visit it... you're lucky.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
|
Great entry for the Fabulous Free Versers Club. Good free verse form. You used descriptive words and imagery. The poem flows nicely. It was easy to visualize the farm. It would be fun to visit it... you're lucky.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
-
Thank you dear soul! 🙏
Comment from Paul McFarland
You have peaked my interest. The visit to the old farm needs more development. There is great potential here. "The creek out back, the apple pies / The old red barn, the clear blue skies."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
 |
You have peaked my interest. The visit to the old farm needs more development. There is great potential here. "The creek out back, the apple pies / The old red barn, the clear blue skies."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
-
Yes this is true
Comment from Senyai
Hi JLR,
What a wonderful memory you have of your Papa and Gram's farm, Creekstone Farm! Waking to the crowing of that Wellsummer rooster must have been better than any alarm clock for sure. Your poem me hungry too, for that great home cooking with biscuits and homemade blackberry preserves and for her apple pie.
Life is too fast nowadays, isn't it? Lived too far away from the soil and fresh air. A lot of kids have no real idea of where their food even comes from, the sources lining the grocery store shelves.
Great entry for the writing club!
Senyai
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
|
Hi JLR,
What a wonderful memory you have of your Papa and Gram's farm, Creekstone Farm! Waking to the crowing of that Wellsummer rooster must have been better than any alarm clock for sure. Your poem me hungry too, for that great home cooking with biscuits and homemade blackberry preserves and for her apple pie.
Life is too fast nowadays, isn't it? Lived too far away from the soil and fresh air. A lot of kids have no real idea of where their food even comes from, the sources lining the grocery store shelves.
Great entry for the writing club!
Senyai
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
-
Senyai ... yes all too fast, too busy, perhaps, more than not many un-informed in the populace.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your free verse for the club is in good form. I enjoyed reading it. Your words are well chosen, there's good flow, and the details and imagery are great. I could see everything you mentioned about the farm. It sounded like a great place to spend a lot of time. You are right--those memories made there will never leave you--they will just grow each year.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
|
Your free verse for the club is in good form. I enjoyed reading it. Your words are well chosen, there's good flow, and the details and imagery are great. I could see everything you mentioned about the farm. It sounded like a great place to spend a lot of time. You are right--those memories made there will never leave you--they will just grow each year.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
-
Jan, very kind words from you and appreciated, thank you 🙏
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a well done free verse for the club. It gives clear images and scents of the country. It shows how memories keep us going.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
|
This is a well done free verse for the club. It gives clear images and scents of the country. It shows how memories keep us going.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
-
Joan, thanks very much.
-
No problem, JLR.
Joan
Comment from Pam (respa)
-You did a good job
with the poem, Jim.
-Haven't seen you in a while
so I hope you are doing well.
-Those homemade biscuits
and cinnamon apple pie
sound really good to me!
-I like the story you tell of
going to visit Papa and Grams.
-It reminds me of those good
old days when traveling to
grandparents, no air conditioning,
in the heat of summer!
-One of my grandmothers grew
up on a farm, and her homemade
biscuits were really, really good.
-I enjoyed your poem.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
|
-You did a good job
with the poem, Jim.
-Haven't seen you in a while
so I hope you are doing well.
-Those homemade biscuits
and cinnamon apple pie
sound really good to me!
-I like the story you tell of
going to visit Papa and Grams.
-It reminds me of those good
old days when traveling to
grandparents, no air conditioning,
in the heat of summer!
-One of my grandmothers grew
up on a farm, and her homemade
biscuits were really, really good.
-I enjoyed your poem.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
-
Hello Pam, thanks for reviewing this free verse submission. I have been removed from my writing desk for some time. I took on a consulting gig for several months. Silly me ... I should have given this more thought. I will wrap up next March. SO I drop in when I can. Be well!
-
I have heard this story before from others who have retired; at least I think that is what you had done! I am glad nothing is wrong. I will look forward to your writing whenever you can. Don't overdo on the gig!
-
Yes and the intent is to NOT overdo... smiling back!🙏🙏
-
Agreed😊😊
