The Fae Nation
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Creteus at the pub"Still just a germ of an idea that the moment
2 total reviews
Comment from Adri7enne
Lots of characters with chips on their shoulders.You like to keep the tension racked up and it works well. Gives your dialogue a real snappy rhythm. Cretius is full of righteous anger at the biased laws, written to give humans all the advantages. He's not fond of human lawyers who defend and interpret these laws. I guess in any society there is always an element who sees itself as disadvantaged. And they probably are in most cases. Makes for interesting reading. Well done, Bob.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Lots of characters with chips on their shoulders.You like to keep the tension racked up and it works well. Gives your dialogue a real snappy rhythm. Cretius is full of righteous anger at the biased laws, written to give humans all the advantages. He's not fond of human lawyers who defend and interpret these laws. I guess in any society there is always an element who sees itself as disadvantaged. And they probably are in most cases. Makes for interesting reading. Well done, Bob.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Thanks. Glad it works for you
Comment from Jay Squires
I see I've missed a chapter or two. I like your use of the fae element used in a realistic structure (and are sparing us the giant mushrooms. There are, of course, parallels to the plight of the fae, and that makes your story so timely. Plus, you are an exceptional writer.
At least he had the decency to look embarrassed, Bob noted with a note of satisfaction. [I assume since there are no quotes, that he noted this to himself. Have you considered italics for such thoughts?]
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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I see I've missed a chapter or two. I like your use of the fae element used in a realistic structure (and are sparing us the giant mushrooms. There are, of course, parallels to the plight of the fae, and that makes your story so timely. Plus, you are an exceptional writer.
At least he had the decency to look embarrassed, Bob noted with a note of satisfaction. [I assume since there are no quotes, that he noted this to himself. Have you considered italics for such thoughts?]
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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Thanks fir your generous review. I'll consider the italics when I rewrite, but a lot of my chapters are told from one character's point of view, with thoughts. I don't want to fill the chapters with italics, but I'll definitely consider it.
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I know what you mean. It was just that this one particular thought was made right after conversation, and with the young lady still there (I can't think of her name, Amanda?) so it was just vague enough to make me wonder.
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fair point