Milk, Bread, and Eggs
A trip to the grocery store.53 total reviews
Comment from ShirleyT1
What a great story! It reminds me of my my small home town. Somebody always knowing more your business than you do. I love the humor! And I can definitely relate to getting home without the very things you went to purchase.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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What a great story! It reminds me of my my small home town. Somebody always knowing more your business than you do. I love the humor! And I can definitely relate to getting home without the very things you went to purchase.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, ShirleyT1, for your kind words and encouraging review. There is more truth in this story than I'd care to admit. No, I didn't forget all three items, just the eggs. LOL. I'm glad you enjoyed it. And appreciate your taking time to read it. Thanks, again.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
What a great piece. It's constant rye (sp) humor and very witty. It felt like I was walking a gauntlet of gossip and rumors. Well done. You were in full throttle on this one.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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What a great piece. It's constant rye (sp) humor and very witty. It felt like I was walking a gauntlet of gossip and rumors. Well done. You were in full throttle on this one.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, Theodore, for your extra-special six-star review. There is more truth in this story than I'd care to admit. No, I didn't forget all three items, just the eggs. And they call this the Golden Years, the person who named it should be shot. LOL. These stars are all the more special when they come from talents like you who I read and enjoy daily. I appreciate YOU!
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I should also add that below the humor was a deep sense of loneliness and alienation from others that you did a good job letting it seep through rather than highlighting it with too bright of a spotlight
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Yes, my friend, you are a very enlightened person, one who picks up on the things that others skim over without noticing. It's what makes your writing touch my senses on so many levels. We all wear masks, and not always to hide, but to protect.
Comment from Wendy G
Yes, it really is too bad there isn't a vaccination against gossip. What untold harm it can cause. A very interesting and humorous story, well-written, and I liked the way it came full circle.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Yes, it really is too bad there isn't a vaccination against gossip. What untold harm it can cause. A very interesting and humorous story, well-written, and I liked the way it came full circle.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, Wendy G, for your kind word and encouraging review. Yes, there is more truth in this story than I care to admit. It was, actually, written after a very frustrating morning trip to the store. No, I didn't forget all three items, just the eggs. LOL. And a vaccination to stop gossipers would be great. Thanks for reading and I glad you it made you smile.
Comment from justafan
Guess I could make a run for your milk, bread and eggs sug. I have to go out anyway :)
This was absolutely delightful. I giggled out loud several times.
You have a brilliant mind and it shows in simply marvelous ways.
Always
Justafan of yours
Missy
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Guess I could make a run for your milk, bread and eggs sug. I have to go out anyway :)
This was absolutely delightful. I giggled out loud several times.
You have a brilliant mind and it shows in simply marvelous ways.
Always
Justafan of yours
Missy
Comment Written 19-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, Missy, for your extra-special six-star review. It's reviews like yours that keeps an old hack plugging and scratching along. There is more truth in this story than I care to admit. Actually most of it. I just changed the names to protect the not-so innocent. And no, I didn't forget all the items, just the eggs. LOL. You've made my week, and I appreciate YOU!
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I?m glad 💕
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A great big HUG, and a little peck on the forehead! And please, don't take them disrespectfully.
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hey my hug and peck...are mine to do with as I see fit.
Just pickin
M
Comment from nomi338
You have my deepest sympathies. Nosey neighbors who insert themselves into your personal life; lazy neighbors who are too cheap to hire professionals to do work they no longer desire to do; casual acquaintances who assume hey are close enough to make assumptions about your personal life. It is enough of a bother to cause you to lose sight of why you left home in the first place. What a world.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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You have my deepest sympathies. Nosey neighbors who insert themselves into your personal life; lazy neighbors who are too cheap to hire professionals to do work they no longer desire to do; casual acquaintances who assume hey are close enough to make assumptions about your personal life. It is enough of a bother to cause you to lose sight of why you left home in the first place. What a world.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, Nomi338, for your truthful statements and understanding. I wrote this as fiction, changing names to protect the not-so innocent, but there is more truth in the story than I care to admit. I'm hoping it might cause a few to see themselves and change their ways, but I know it isn't likely. I appreciate your perceptiveness and encouraging review. Thanks, again.
Comment from tfawcus
You had me laughing here, Ric. Humour like this that so closely parallels real life experiences has a sharper edge, because people can identify with it. I like your casual, conversational style and the way you interject your own thoughts.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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You had me laughing here, Ric. Humour like this that so closely parallels real life experiences has a sharper edge, because people can identify with it. I like your casual, conversational style and the way you interject your own thoughts.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, TFawcus, for your kind words and generous review. I get up every day hoping to make someone laugh, but most times it's my unintentional antics and embarrassing moments that get the most laughs. LOL. There is more truth in this story than I care to admit. I'm glad it made you smile. Thanks, again.
Comment from Alaskastory
"Milk, Bread, and Eggs" is an amusing story. I like the way it begins and Bill's response to everyone he meets. I like the humor. Somehow I began thinking it could be chapter 1 of a character in pursuit of a goal, like perhaps a worthwhile romance.
Did he say this to the girls? "...I'd done it again. "Opened mouth, and inserted foot.".... I couldn't see how it fit in.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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"Milk, Bread, and Eggs" is an amusing story. I like the way it begins and Bill's response to everyone he meets. I like the humor. Somehow I began thinking it could be chapter 1 of a character in pursuit of a goal, like perhaps a worthwhile romance.
Did he say this to the girls? "...I'd done it again. "Opened mouth, and inserted foot.".... I couldn't see how it fit in.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, Alaskastory, for your kind words and generous review. There is more truth in this story than I care to admit, I just changed enough to make it fiction. And I didn't forget all three items, just the eggs. LOL. No, he didn't say "Opened mouth, and inserted foot." The quotation marks are just to let reader's know that the quote is someone else's words and not my own. Thanks, again.
Comment from BethShelby
You have this listed as humor fiction but it sounds pretty believable to me. It is humorous but no trip to the grocery store is simple and if I don't have it written on paper I'm very likely to come home with everything except what I went after.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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You have this listed as humor fiction but it sounds pretty believable to me. It is humorous but no trip to the grocery store is simple and if I don't have it written on paper I'm very likely to come home with everything except what I went after.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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LOL! Thank you so much, Beth Shelby, for your kinds words and generous review. There is more truth in this story than I care to admit. Most all of it, I just changed enough to call it fiction. No, I didn't forget all three items, but did forget the eggs. LOL. Thanks, again.
Comment from J Patience
This story kept my attention because Ric kept encountering people and conflicts in conversations. The overheated day also kept my attention because I experienced the same here where I live, and readily identified with what he was going through in physical discomfort. His encounters with people are realistic. He's obviously a well-known and respected person to a certain extent, and a good guy, shown by how he interacts with others.
While reading, however, I found a number of things that took my attention off of the story.
- and couldn't have cared less how things... : should specify that HE couldn't have cared, considering how the sentence is built.
- The boys gathering up carts left everywhere, were gripping, and sauntering... : they were probably griping. Although, likely also gripping the handles of the carts but I suspect you wouldn't mention that in the story. Also, rewording the awkwardness of "carts left everywhere" (stray carts) would make the sentence friendlier to the eyes.
The comment on joking about old people, and Ric thinking to himself that he fails to see the humor, seems like an extra unneeded bit. Is it supposed to illustrate that Ric is old?
- who could make a bull parading to face... : I read this and thought you meant she could make a bull parading somewhere. I believe that wording it with "that is parading" might help the imagery be more clear for the reader.
- Men sometimes ask "How's it hanging," but... : This little bit of internal monologue also seems extra and unnecessary. I think the interaction with the greeter is something enough of us do, that the reasoning behind small talk with her doesn't need to be explained.
Lois and Ric keep saying each other's names after the initial greeting. In a real conversation, I find that people don't generally keep saying the name of the person they're talking to during the conversation. It has an unnatural flow as I read it.
Rick is saying "dear" and "sweetheart." This makes me think maybe he IS older. But as someone who helps the older neighbor, I figured he was, at oldest, a healthy 50ish. The language-use quirks are throwing me off.
flibbertigibbets? Now I think he's probably 75 years old.
- stopped by sisters Mona and Summer : the wording left it open for me to misunderstand that you meant they were Ric's sisters. That might be a "me paying attention" thing, I don't know if anyone else has mentioned it.
- A donkey sitting on a feather : It's just odd enough a thing to say that it distracts me from the activity in the story. Maybe something more colloquial would keep the flow steady.
- They were afraid of the effects... : While this paragraph certainly fits with the conversation that happened before it, it also doesn't need to be here, and the flow of the story would go more quickly, while also avoiding turning off the reader's interest, if it were taken out.
This is a nice little tidbit of a story. The buying-over-$100-worth-of-everything-but-what-you-came-for notion is definitely something I've experienced and is an appropriate note on which to end this read, considering the flustering reaction to gossip mixed with overheating and being used by the neighbor. I liked it, but would enjoy it more if it flowed without the distractions.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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This story kept my attention because Ric kept encountering people and conflicts in conversations. The overheated day also kept my attention because I experienced the same here where I live, and readily identified with what he was going through in physical discomfort. His encounters with people are realistic. He's obviously a well-known and respected person to a certain extent, and a good guy, shown by how he interacts with others.
While reading, however, I found a number of things that took my attention off of the story.
- and couldn't have cared less how things... : should specify that HE couldn't have cared, considering how the sentence is built.
- The boys gathering up carts left everywhere, were gripping, and sauntering... : they were probably griping. Although, likely also gripping the handles of the carts but I suspect you wouldn't mention that in the story. Also, rewording the awkwardness of "carts left everywhere" (stray carts) would make the sentence friendlier to the eyes.
The comment on joking about old people, and Ric thinking to himself that he fails to see the humor, seems like an extra unneeded bit. Is it supposed to illustrate that Ric is old?
- who could make a bull parading to face... : I read this and thought you meant she could make a bull parading somewhere. I believe that wording it with "that is parading" might help the imagery be more clear for the reader.
- Men sometimes ask "How's it hanging," but... : This little bit of internal monologue also seems extra and unnecessary. I think the interaction with the greeter is something enough of us do, that the reasoning behind small talk with her doesn't need to be explained.
Lois and Ric keep saying each other's names after the initial greeting. In a real conversation, I find that people don't generally keep saying the name of the person they're talking to during the conversation. It has an unnatural flow as I read it.
Rick is saying "dear" and "sweetheart." This makes me think maybe he IS older. But as someone who helps the older neighbor, I figured he was, at oldest, a healthy 50ish. The language-use quirks are throwing me off.
flibbertigibbets? Now I think he's probably 75 years old.
- stopped by sisters Mona and Summer : the wording left it open for me to misunderstand that you meant they were Ric's sisters. That might be a "me paying attention" thing, I don't know if anyone else has mentioned it.
- A donkey sitting on a feather : It's just odd enough a thing to say that it distracts me from the activity in the story. Maybe something more colloquial would keep the flow steady.
- They were afraid of the effects... : While this paragraph certainly fits with the conversation that happened before it, it also doesn't need to be here, and the flow of the story would go more quickly, while also avoiding turning off the reader's interest, if it were taken out.
This is a nice little tidbit of a story. The buying-over-$100-worth-of-everything-but-what-you-came-for notion is definitely something I've experienced and is an appropriate note on which to end this read, considering the flustering reaction to gossip mixed with overheating and being used by the neighbor. I liked it, but would enjoy it more if it flowed without the distractions.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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I appreciate all the time and effort you put into trying to be helpful in this review, and some needed corrections that can make it better. Which I will use. There are a few things that I like the way they are and were intentionally done in a rambling way, just as the conversations took place. Actually, there is more truth in this story than I care to admit. Most of it is true, but I've changed things just enough to protect the innocent and make it fiction. I'm not 50ish, I'm 66, and those conversations happened. Maybe I should rethink the way I talk to people. LOL. Any way, I appreciate the review and comments.
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I mean, obviously this is you. And I wondered how based on truth these conversations are. Is the word "flibbertygibbet" a part of a real conversation? That would be awesome. No one uses that anymore. If this story truly is based a lot on real occurrences, no wonder I'm pointing out distracting instances. True life events/talks don't flow the way people like to read. Real-life instances are a fascinating read, thank you for that experience.
Comment from Jay Squires
I really admire your conversational brand of writing, like I was walking past your house and you called me up to the front porch to have a cup of coffee with you and chat with me a bit. It's a good style, Ric.
The story you told was engaging, had me chuckling in more than one place, and you made it a joy to read from beginning to end.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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I really admire your conversational brand of writing, like I was walking past your house and you called me up to the front porch to have a cup of coffee with you and chat with me a bit. It's a good style, Ric.
The story you told was engaging, had me chuckling in more than one place, and you made it a joy to read from beginning to end.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, Jay, for your extra-special six-star review. But most of all, it's your kindness and encouragement that motivates and keeps me struggling along to get better. There is more truth in this story than I'd really care to admit, so I wrote it as fiction. No, I didn't forget all three items, just the eggs. LOL. It's always a rewarding confidence builder when such an outstanding writer as you finds something positive about my stories. I appreciate YOU!
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Well, you are very kind to say that, but your writing stands on its own merits.
