Secrets in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Secrets in the Wind"A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime
23 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Isn't it funny? One can find true happiness not in the poverty of abusive people, but more in a life of giving, God had gifted her with someone who cared for and adopted her, and provided her with an opportunity to prosper by way of giving, that's why God prospers us, to provide the incalculable opportunity, to sow, as God Himself through Jesus, who became poor so we can be rich. You haven't failed to amaze me with your victorious stories and life Carol, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Isn't it funny? One can find true happiness not in the poverty of abusive people, but more in a life of giving, God had gifted her with someone who cared for and adopted her, and provided her with an opportunity to prosper by way of giving, that's why God prospers us, to provide the incalculable opportunity, to sow, as God Himself through Jesus, who became poor so we can be rich. You haven't failed to amaze me with your victorious stories and life Carol, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Good afternoon, Roy... Thank you for stopping by to read the first chapter in my new book. I hope it entertains you as much as the last one. I always appreciate your comments and blessings as well.
Smiles, Carol
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Bless you
Comment from BethShelby
Great first chapter. I hope you are planning to develop this into a new book. You know your books are amazing tha I know this one will be too. I always look forward to when you start a new story.
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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Great first chapter. I hope you are planning to develop this into a new book. You know your books are amazing tha I know this one will be too. I always look forward to when you start a new story.
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Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Hi, Beth... Yes, this is another sequel with Hank and Garth... at least I hope it is if everything goes well. i have two more chapters completed with three murders. LOL I needed to write about Mary because her background is important to the storyline. Glad you enjoyed it!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading this contest entry. I am also going to enter this contest. After reading your entry, I'll need work really hard. Good luck.
Deciding that pacing would not make Jon get there any faster, she walked toward the kitchen. (You can omit the 'that')
Alec bit his lower lip. He closed his eyes and waited for her response. (How does Marry know this, we are in Mary's POV. She can't see over the phone.)
Alec dropped the phone and turned to face Jon's family. He hated every one of them. (Again, Mary can't see through the phone. The same for the rest of that section. Being in Mary's POV, she doesn't know what is happening on the other end of the phone. If you want to bring it in, you can but you need to get out of Mary's POV and go into Alec's.)
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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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I enjoyed reading this contest entry. I am also going to enter this contest. After reading your entry, I'll need work really hard. Good luck.
Deciding that pacing would not make Jon get there any faster, she walked toward the kitchen. (You can omit the 'that')
Alec bit his lower lip. He closed his eyes and waited for her response. (How does Marry know this, we are in Mary's POV. She can't see over the phone.)
Alec dropped the phone and turned to face Jon's family. He hated every one of them. (Again, Mary can't see through the phone. The same for the rest of that section. Being in Mary's POV, she doesn't know what is happening on the other end of the phone. If you want to bring it in, you can but you need to get out of Mary's POV and go into Alec's.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Thanks, Barbara... I fixed the first two... There should be software that tracks down all the that's...LOL
Since Mary slumped to the floor and fainted...and the phone was hung up... Wouldn't that put me in Alec's POV?
I don't think you have to worry.. You excel at your stories. I have two more chapters completed and three murders..LOL. Things happen fast. I needed Mary's background, so I hope this works out okay.
Smiles, Carol
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Mary slumping to the floor would be Mary's POV. Alex wouldn't no anything but the phone went dead.
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I guess I'm confused... If the phone is hung up by Jon's dad... does it not switch to Alec's POV then? Straightened me out Ms. Teacher
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Not automatically. You need something to indicate the change. I use *****
