Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Betrayal Chapter 40"In the title.
40 total reviews
Comment from DSchlosser
These people have some serious past issues that they need to get over. Haha! For both of them to react so strongly with those words, they've both been hurt too badly. No errors that I could spot on this one, and I was able to breeze through it pretty quickly.
I'm going to try and finish the book tonight. I've got some time, so I'm going to make a push to get to the end.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2021
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These people have some serious past issues that they need to get over. Haha! For both of them to react so strongly with those words, they've both been hurt too badly. No errors that I could spot on this one, and I was able to breeze through it pretty quickly.
I'm going to try and finish the book tonight. I've got some time, so I'm going to make a push to get to the end.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2021
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I'm glad you liked this part, it was quite angry and sensual. But that only happens when there are stronger feeling in both parties. I had fun writing this part. I wanted it to be hot, but not out of keeping with the rest of the story. Thanks so much for this lovely review. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2021
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 A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review. |
Comment Written 05-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2021
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Thank you so very much! I really appreciate this award, you've put a huge smile on my face!!! :)) xx
Comment from J. P. Olesen
Hi, Sandra,
Like some other folks who's work I checked out late last night, I stopped by to look over your profile and your work. Being so new here, I'm still figuring out what tabs to click to find whatever.
Anyway . . . wow! I'm amazed you've taken the time to comment on my work.
But getting to the point, I was extremely impressed with this chapter. Aside from the fact I'm a bit of an Anglophile, I was swept up immediately by your writing. It is very fast-paced, with loads of dialogue and a lot of action. I was also impressed by how you wrote the closing erotic scene--describing it by not really describing it--which is terribly hard to do . . . at least for me.
I hope you (or anyone else around here) isn't looking for a lot of detailed grammatical comments from me. What little I know, is painfully difficult to employ, and anyway, varies greatly by what you were taught, what manual of style you choose, what country you're in, etc., etc.
Anyway, I haven't read anything quite like your work since John Jakes (The Kent Family Chronicles) or George MacDonald Fraser (The Flashman Papers). I hope you're flattered by that.
J. P.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Hi, Sandra,
Like some other folks who's work I checked out late last night, I stopped by to look over your profile and your work. Being so new here, I'm still figuring out what tabs to click to find whatever.
Anyway . . . wow! I'm amazed you've taken the time to comment on my work.
But getting to the point, I was extremely impressed with this chapter. Aside from the fact I'm a bit of an Anglophile, I was swept up immediately by your writing. It is very fast-paced, with loads of dialogue and a lot of action. I was also impressed by how you wrote the closing erotic scene--describing it by not really describing it--which is terribly hard to do . . . at least for me.
I hope you (or anyone else around here) isn't looking for a lot of detailed grammatical comments from me. What little I know, is painfully difficult to employ, and anyway, varies greatly by what you were taught, what manual of style you choose, what country you're in, etc., etc.
Anyway, I haven't read anything quite like your work since John Jakes (The Kent Family Chronicles) or George MacDonald Fraser (The Flashman Papers). I hope you're flattered by that.
J. P.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much for this really lovely review, J.P. I do appreciate it a lot. And yes, I'm more than flattered, I'm over the moon! Thank you!
As for the remark about me commenting on your work, don't put yourself down, it was a heart-breaking story, and written with compassion and sensitivity. I very much enjoyed your style. And welcome to FS, it's a great place to be and you'll get lots of help in your writing. I beg for it as it's the best way to learn.
I can't thank you enough for the golden sixth star, and this lovely review. I hope you pop back again. Warm hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Sandra.
This is the best chapter of the book so far. You are still building tension in the beginning of this chapter on two different levels. As the chapter progressed and the "meeting of the minds" finally occurred, my suspicions from chapter one were finally realized. I'm not bragging, just observing.
Inasmuch as you raised two levels of tension early on you resolved both levels in a creative way. By the end of this chapter the reader can understand who's on each team.
This is a very well written chapter. I enjoyed reading it.
BTW, I received the books from Amazon on Monday. Very nice work and I thank you for the acknowledgement.
Robert
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Hello Sandra.
This is the best chapter of the book so far. You are still building tension in the beginning of this chapter on two different levels. As the chapter progressed and the "meeting of the minds" finally occurred, my suspicions from chapter one were finally realized. I'm not bragging, just observing.
Inasmuch as you raised two levels of tension early on you resolved both levels in a creative way. By the end of this chapter the reader can understand who's on each team.
This is a very well written chapter. I enjoyed reading it.
BTW, I received the books from Amazon on Monday. Very nice work and I thank you for the acknowledgement.
Robert
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Aw, thank you! I'm so pleased you like the book. I couldn't not acknowledge you, the story was written with your format in mind and it worked so well. I see Scout on Friday now, and I can't wait to give it to her!
Thank you for your lovely review, and yes, I remember you actually saying that straight away. Lol, it just took them a little longer to realise it. Thanks, my friend, I really appreciate your kind words. Warm hugs. :)) Sandra xxx
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You're welcome.
Scout will like the book a lot.
Thank you for the Beautiful acknowledgement of the CUBE16 poetry style. I appreciate your support.
Robert
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And you are most welcome, too. :)) xx
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Ha, Ha, Ha you forgot the PG rating and the classic motif of finishing an argument in...bed. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings....lets see what's coming up next.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Ha, Ha, Ha you forgot the PG rating and the classic motif of finishing an argument in...bed. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings....lets see what's coming up next.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Thank you, Iza, for reading this emotional part. Next one coming on Sunday! Have a lovely day, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I will continue reading your story....evidently women are not to be trusted in this chapter...Grant's so called mother and now an office worker. Is the office worker lying or is this Rapier's way of telling lies so he sounds innocent?
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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I will continue reading your story....evidently women are not to be trusted in this chapter...Grant's so called mother and now an office worker. Is the office worker lying or is this Rapier's way of telling lies so he sounds innocent?
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Abandoned as a child by his mother, then betrayed by his wife has left Grant with some trust issues that need to be addressed. They will be, Tania is the perfect woman to do that. Thank you, Rosemary, for reading this part, I really appreciate your words. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from alexisleech
What a clever lady you are, Sandra. Not only did you pen an exciting love scene, you managed it in a way that was both erotic and tasteful. You let the reader's imagination (or perhaps memory!) visualise a passionate scene in their head, and be reminded that sex can be a truly beautiful union, and that it doesn't need to be cheapened by over explanation. Bravo!
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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What a clever lady you are, Sandra. Not only did you pen an exciting love scene, you managed it in a way that was both erotic and tasteful. You let the reader's imagination (or perhaps memory!) visualise a passionate scene in their head, and be reminded that sex can be a truly beautiful union, and that it doesn't need to be cheapened by over explanation. Bravo!
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review, Alexis I laughed at your part about it being a memory!!! Lol. I'm so glad you liked the way I wrote this part. Thanks dear friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Sanku
Monica has the strength of character to believe that Lorna is not the culprit .You have cleverly ended this chapter without revealing who actually is the culprit. Frankly I am not able to guess.Someone else in Grant's office would have innocently given out the information.
Good that you ended with a passionate liplock and what followed....
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Monica has the strength of character to believe that Lorna is not the culprit .You have cleverly ended this chapter without revealing who actually is the culprit. Frankly I am not able to guess.Someone else in Grant's office would have innocently given out the information.
Good that you ended with a passionate liplock and what followed....
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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You will all be told soon, even Grant will be surprised. :)) Thank you so very much for this lovely review, Sanku, and for the lovely golden sixth star! I'm really pleased you enjoyed this part, and the ending. I had to get these two to realise how they felt for each other. Well, they knew what they felt, they had to let the other know! Lol. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Cindy Warren
What on Earth was Grant thinking to say something like that? And why would he believe a word out of Rapier's mouth? Finding out what property someone owns is easy. It just takes a little computer time. Tania should have knocked him senseless.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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What on Earth was Grant thinking to say something like that? And why would he believe a word out of Rapier's mouth? Finding out what property someone owns is easy. It just takes a little computer time. Tania should have knocked him senseless.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Grant had one of those moments when old memories came back and hit him. His mother has a lot to answer for. We learn more later. Thank you so much for this amazing review, Cindy, you certainly got into this one!! I could just imagine Tania, all of 5'2in knocking Grant senseless, him being over 6' tall!! Lol. Thanks my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sandra,
My, my. I guess I should read more of these torrid romance stories. LOL
At first, I thought Grant appeared to be a bit unbalanced. Everyone seemed to
know Rapier was likely trying to manipulate him, but Grant himself.
My guess for the snitch was one of the two secretaries, but I eliminated
Lorna since she had been there for thirty years and is a company director.
If it's Margaret, it might be better it she was a he, that would really set Grant straight. :)
Perhaps Tania and Grant are perfect for each other after all.
Well done.
Best wishes, my friend
Robert
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Hello Sandra,
My, my. I guess I should read more of these torrid romance stories. LOL
At first, I thought Grant appeared to be a bit unbalanced. Everyone seemed to
know Rapier was likely trying to manipulate him, but Grant himself.
My guess for the snitch was one of the two secretaries, but I eliminated
Lorna since she had been there for thirty years and is a company director.
If it's Margaret, it might be better it she was a he, that would really set Grant straight. :)
Perhaps Tania and Grant are perfect for each other after all.
Well done.
Best wishes, my friend
Robert
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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I had a lot of encouragement from a certain lady you know very well, Robert!!!! Lol. Thank you so much for this lovely review, and for the sixth gold star. Although I am not going to tell you who the traitor is, what I can say is, you are so very luke warm, even coming to being cool, in your guess. Now, I am a tad disappointed in you, Robert, you are usually very good at guessing. Lol. Thank you again, my friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
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I guess we'll just have to wait for the big reveal. LOL The only other person I thought of was the pilot, but he/she isn't a character as far as I remember.
Suspense.