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Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Green is Black"With their call stalled, Liz & Linda begin walking
8 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
i particularly find the commonplace references to complex medical disorders interesting, and their integration into the story is very natural. on the other hand i found that the chapter didn't get far enough into the story of colours
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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i particularly find the commonplace references to complex medical disorders interesting, and their integration into the story is very natural. on the other hand i found that the chapter didn't get far enough into the story of colours
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your involved review. Do you have more comments about the need for more about the colors? Tommy finally does get to tell more in the next chapter. I can add even more if you tell me what more is needed.
Comment from Jessica Borras
I like that you put the explanation at the bottom for us, because I wasn't sure what HD was. I enjoyed the storyline that you have here, even if it is just a simple chapter.
The dialogue did confuse me a little... I imagine in a couple of spots, the girls were rambling a bit, but sentences like "It sounded so much like my book Be Wee With Bea, I thought it was another illusion instead it is an allusion." confused me a little bit. And the sentence "Well, that explains a lot. There was a frustration in Tommy's voice."... Is he thinking "well, that explains a lot", or saying it out loud?
Also, "These will be cold but still good. is missing a quotation mark at the end. Very small things, easily fixed <3
I hope to read more about this trio in the future! Thank you so much for sharing!
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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I like that you put the explanation at the bottom for us, because I wasn't sure what HD was. I enjoyed the storyline that you have here, even if it is just a simple chapter.
The dialogue did confuse me a little... I imagine in a couple of spots, the girls were rambling a bit, but sentences like "It sounded so much like my book Be Wee With Bea, I thought it was another illusion instead it is an allusion." confused me a little bit. And the sentence "Well, that explains a lot. There was a frustration in Tommy's voice."... Is he thinking "well, that explains a lot", or saying it out loud?
Also, "These will be cold but still good. is missing a quotation mark at the end. Very small things, easily fixed <3
I hope to read more about this trio in the future! Thank you so much for sharing!
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Thank for your involved review. I attended to your observations. I do think if you've ready some of the previous chapters you would understand the relationship among the characters.
You are invited to visit my portfolio and read the first 13 chapters that are about the rescue of 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation. There is no need to write any review. Every chapter is suspenseful. Just read it for enjoyment.
Comment from AJ McCall
What I love about the story is that I myself have caribbean Indian (blackfoot I think) and American Indian. I feel so proud to be of the first true Americans of this land and your story always makes me smile. Liz and Linda who keep interuptting Tommy remind me of my little sisters when my dad is trying to tell them a story. Oh, and I almos forgot HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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What I love about the story is that I myself have caribbean Indian (blackfoot I think) and American Indian. I feel so proud to be of the first true Americans of this land and your story always makes me smile. Liz and Linda who keep interuptting Tommy remind me of my little sisters when my dad is trying to tell them a story. Oh, and I almos forgot HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Whoa, I just noticed you gave me 6 stars in this review. I'm glad it helps you get in touch with your heritage. And I also say Hi.
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:) You're welcome!!
Comment from Pj Dennison
It was like reading a letter from my old friends, Liz, Linda, and Tommy. That was great how you worked in the practice and culture of the Crow and Navajo people. You depicted the scenario so well that I can imagine the ladies interrupting and getting off track while Tommy was trying to get his story out. Those two are truly characters. Those little eccentricities make the characters even more realistic and interesting. Since he didn't get to tell his story it makes the reader excited to hear Tommy's story in the next chapter. Besides the Navajo having four different colors for the four cardinal directions and four different stones we also have the four mountain ranges around the rez associated with the colors and directions. It's a pleasure to read your work.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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It was like reading a letter from my old friends, Liz, Linda, and Tommy. That was great how you worked in the practice and culture of the Crow and Navajo people. You depicted the scenario so well that I can imagine the ladies interrupting and getting off track while Tommy was trying to get his story out. Those two are truly characters. Those little eccentricities make the characters even more realistic and interesting. Since he didn't get to tell his story it makes the reader excited to hear Tommy's story in the next chapter. Besides the Navajo having four different colors for the four cardinal directions and four different stones we also have the four mountain ranges around the rez associated with the colors and directions. It's a pleasure to read your work.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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This is an encouraging review. Thank you for your praise.
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You are welcome.
Comment from lyenochka
It's been quite a long time since they met Tommy. Is the food still good? I hope it's in some kind of cooler. I enjoyed the comparison of the different tribes' colors for direction. Some languages have different names for colors - there's no one for one correspondence. I was happy to see the references to Be Wee with Bea!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2021
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It's been quite a long time since they met Tommy. Is the food still good? I hope it's in some kind of cooler. I enjoyed the comparison of the different tribes' colors for direction. Some languages have different names for colors - there's no one for one correspondence. I was happy to see the references to Be Wee with Bea!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2021
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The food has been under the AC all along. Hopefully, it was still good. I am a dowser. We were taught how to program our high self to ask "is this food if still good?" by swinging a pendulum. It would mean I don't have digestive problems, no diarrhea, no vomiting, no need to have my stomach pumped, nor will I die. I had to modify my program to include "and still tastes good." Freezer burn or staleness is still safe to eat but doesn't taste good. lol
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Lol! Good to know.
Comment from aryr
A wonderfully great continuation chapter, Liz. I loved how you explained that each tribe had their own colors and minerals for the directions. Poor Tommy, desperately trying to finish his story while constantly being interrupted by Liz and Linda. That's the trial of having both with ADD and Liz also having HD. This was very well done and very much enjoyed.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2021
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A wonderfully great continuation chapter, Liz. I loved how you explained that each tribe had their own colors and minerals for the directions. Poor Tommy, desperately trying to finish his story while constantly being interrupted by Liz and Linda. That's the trial of having both with ADD and Liz also having HD. This was very well done and very much enjoyed.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2021
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I am enjoying your review and laughing. I'm glad you appreciated it.
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Ahhaaa, then I am laughing because you are. You are so welcome.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is another interesting chapter, Liz. I really like the glimpses into the first nations culture that you provide within your story. It is fortunate that Liz and Linda were discovered and aided by Tommy. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2021
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This is another interesting chapter, Liz. I really like the glimpses into the first nations culture that you provide within your story. It is fortunate that Liz and Linda were discovered and aided by Tommy. Well done.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your appreciative review. I'm glad you see the value it in.
Comment from Mabaker12
It's getting well written, Liz letting your teaching and your creating ability right up there with the best of the best. I'm learning so much about the native way of life, with your stories. Love you sincerely, Anne
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2021
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It's getting well written, Liz letting your teaching and your creating ability right up there with the best of the best. I'm learning so much about the native way of life, with your stories. Love you sincerely, Anne
Comment Written 09-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your appreciative review. I'm glad you see the value it in. You are reflecting my hopes. And do I spy a shiny one?