Ohio History
A free verse poem covering centuries15 total reviews
Comment from Justin Yhoung
I saw the title of this piece and thought to myself, "I want to know a piece of Ohio history!"-what a simple yet effective way of drawing a reader in without even having to provide an excerpt or summary of the piece.
The words themselves are beautiful in nature, constructing a scene, a setting, a journey across time with a central focus on what could be perceived to be both humans vs nature as well as humans coinciding along with nature.
Some colors are directly mentioned, whilst others can be inferred by the descriptive word choices the author uses to paint vivid scenes of the same place across time.
A good mix of both rhyme and whatever the word is for good'ol fashioned poetry, showing the author's capabilities as a chemist to blend different poetic elements into a uniquely concocted piece.
A certain phrase reiterated throughout, like the chiming of a bell, resounding in the readers mind, a call to remembrance the importance of what once came before, if I understand correctly.
Thank you for sharing a piece of perhaps your states ancestral past, and doing so in a beautifully contracted way.
Cheers!
-JJ
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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I saw the title of this piece and thought to myself, "I want to know a piece of Ohio history!"-what a simple yet effective way of drawing a reader in without even having to provide an excerpt or summary of the piece.
The words themselves are beautiful in nature, constructing a scene, a setting, a journey across time with a central focus on what could be perceived to be both humans vs nature as well as humans coinciding along with nature.
Some colors are directly mentioned, whilst others can be inferred by the descriptive word choices the author uses to paint vivid scenes of the same place across time.
A good mix of both rhyme and whatever the word is for good'ol fashioned poetry, showing the author's capabilities as a chemist to blend different poetic elements into a uniquely concocted piece.
A certain phrase reiterated throughout, like the chiming of a bell, resounding in the readers mind, a call to remembrance the importance of what once came before, if I understand correctly.
Thank you for sharing a piece of perhaps your states ancestral past, and doing so in a beautifully contracted way.
Cheers!
-JJ
Comment Written 10-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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JJ, thank you so much for reading my poem and writing such a thoughtful review. I really appreciate it.
Jill
Comment from Eternal Muse
A great Free Verse on the Ohio history and what defines the state of Ohio.
Wonderful imagery, visuals and I love the artwork you've chosen.
You show the progress of the state as time passes by:
And now those mills and factories,
also gone, replaced with
hospitals,
Walmarts
fast food restaurants.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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A great Free Verse on the Ohio history and what defines the state of Ohio.
Wonderful imagery, visuals and I love the artwork you've chosen.
You show the progress of the state as time passes by:
And now those mills and factories,
also gone, replaced with
hospitals,
Walmarts
fast food restaurants.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my poem. I appreciate it.
Comment from amahra
Very well-written Free Verse poem with a great story. The love the repeated line: "Once a house stood here."
Families dispersed by steel mills calling
A house filled with children born to work the land. [I liked these two lines]
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2021
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Very well-written Free Verse poem with a great story. The love the repeated line: "Once a house stood here."
Families dispersed by steel mills calling
A house filled with children born to work the land. [I liked these two lines]
Comment Written 09-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2021
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Thank you for reading my poem and sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate it.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Ohio History
by Jill McCauslin
Nice entry for the Free Verse Poetry Contest. Good alliteration. I can see the daffodils in my minds eye. Your poem flows well. It draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Ohio History
by Jill McCauslin
Nice entry for the Free Verse Poetry Contest. Good alliteration. I can see the daffodils in my minds eye. Your poem flows well. It draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Thank you! I appreciate you reading my poem and commenting on it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading this contest entry. I know it's supposedly progress, but I don't see it as progress. It's just me. I would have been nice, if we left the land as it was. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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I enjoyed reading this contest entry. I know it's supposedly progress, but I don't see it as progress. It's just me. I would have been nice, if we left the land as it was. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your review. I agree, I'm not sure that "progress" is a good thing.
Comment from Begin Again
Time marches on and continues to bring change along with it (sometimes for the good and other times its bad). Your poem and its nostalgic remembrance of the lives that once lived there but are forever gone tugs at the reader's heart. We can not stop change and progress... but often, it leads us right back to where we started.... amongst the yellow daffodils.
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Time marches on and continues to bring change along with it (sometimes for the good and other times its bad). Your poem and its nostalgic remembrance of the lives that once lived there but are forever gone tugs at the reader's heart. We can not stop change and progress... but often, it leads us right back to where we started.... amongst the yellow daffodils.
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 08-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Thank you Carol for your review. I appreciate you taking the time to read my poem and commenting.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
You have painted vivid imagery in my mind across timelines. Very creative writing. Looks like the present scene in Ohio rekindled the nostalgia. I loved your free verse poem written in a simple but effective way. Impactful. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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You have painted vivid imagery in my mind across timelines. Very creative writing. Looks like the present scene in Ohio rekindled the nostalgia. I loved your free verse poem written in a simple but effective way. Impactful. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. I really appreciate it.
Comment from QC Poet
I found this a very nicely thought out visually expressive poem with one paragraph a little harsher in it's flow but I'm Native American an find some of this can be understood from historical study. Good Luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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I found this a very nicely thought out visually expressive poem with one paragraph a little harsher in it's flow but I'm Native American an find some of this can be understood from historical study. Good Luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your review. I actually intended for there to be a negative feeling to parts of it. There's much about the taking over of the country that is rather distressing. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Poignant--haunting imagery conveys a sense of longing--well-rendered in free verse and would work equally well as prose--perhaps expand on this into a story.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Poignant--haunting imagery conveys a sense of longing--well-rendered in free verse and would work equally well as prose--perhaps expand on this into a story.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your comments. Perhaps I could change this into some sort of story.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We cannot stop change and I recall the "Time Machine" by H G Wells and in the film when the scene moved forward and the different buildings were knocked down and new structures rebuilt, we will never be able to control this and perhaps the churches and certain buildings survive through the centuries, especially in England where we conserve our heritage. I enjoyed the inclusion of nature in your free-write about change here, a fine post Jill, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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We cannot stop change and I recall the "Time Machine" by H G Wells and in the film when the scene moved forward and the different buildings were knocked down and new structures rebuilt, we will never be able to control this and perhaps the churches and certain buildings survive through the centuries, especially in England where we conserve our heritage. I enjoyed the inclusion of nature in your free-write about change here, a fine post Jill, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Thank you Dolly for your kind review. One of the things I loved about England is that there are buildings older than the US and they're still in use!
I appreciate your review. Thank you.
