The Fae Nation
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "The Aftermath of the raid"Still just a germ of an idea that the moment
4 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Bob,
This chapter made me sad. Suddenly I was reminded of all the things going on in the States. I had to wonder if this may have helped inspire some of your story. Everyone warring against everyone else and for no good reason, if you ask me, but just for something to do. --sigh--
Onward!
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Bob,
This chapter made me sad. Suddenly I was reminded of all the things going on in the States. I had to wonder if this may have helped inspire some of your story. Everyone warring against everyone else and for no good reason, if you ask me, but just for something to do. --sigh--
Onward!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Sadly it's not just the US, it's everywhere. Partisanship is on the rise in Europe as well. One of the advantages of being a stranger in a strange land is that I don't really understand the politics here. As dar as I can tell, the Portuguese believe that all politicians are corrupt, regardless of the party, and we have quite a few here.
Sorry to make you sad. it's quite a heavy theme I've chosen, even if I can throw a couple of jokes in here and there
Comment from Adri7enne
Righteous anger surfacing! Lol! It really feels like arguing with the insanity of prejudice. It always makes me feel so helpless and that just irritates the hell out of me. You're very good that bringing up emotions in your readers. At least you do it to me. Well done, Bob.
If they think I'm just going to lie down and take it they've got another think (THING) coming." ?? You have me wondering, but I think it's 'another THING coming.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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Righteous anger surfacing! Lol! It really feels like arguing with the insanity of prejudice. It always makes me feel so helpless and that just irritates the hell out of me. You're very good that bringing up emotions in your readers. At least you do it to me. Well done, Bob.
If they think I'm just going to lie down and take it they've got another think (THING) coming." ?? You have me wondering, but I think it's 'another THING coming.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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Oh you Americans and your crazy talk. Another think was always the expression, and if you thing about it, it makes sense. Another thing coming is a later bastardization of it by (mainly) Americans.
And yes, this book was always about prejudice. I just hope I haven't overdone the message.
Thanks as ever for your generous review.
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You would have made a great lawyer! I love it when you argue your point. Lol! You might even be right! What an ego!
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This seems like an interesting fantasy/ adventure novel, having characters that are both human and elven and/or fairies. There seems to be a clear bigotry going on, against the fairies in the story.
Here are some errors and suggestions:
and then leant in close to Bob.
-->
and then leaned in close to Bob. ["leant" is not incorrect, but "leaned" is far more commonly used today]
After the door closed Bob silently counted to three, then let out a long breath.
-->
After the door closed, Bob silently counted to three, then let out a long breath.
but the venom in the voice could have poisoned a reservoir.
-->
but the venom in her voice could have poisoned a reservoir.
She was shaking and her face was white. Whether from fear or anger Bob wasn't sure.
-->
She was shaking and her face was white--whether from fear or anger Bob wasn't sure.
***
I tried as best as I could to follow this, given the limited background provided. It might help to have a timeline or character list.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2021
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This seems like an interesting fantasy/ adventure novel, having characters that are both human and elven and/or fairies. There seems to be a clear bigotry going on, against the fairies in the story.
Here are some errors and suggestions:
and then leant in close to Bob.
-->
and then leaned in close to Bob. ["leant" is not incorrect, but "leaned" is far more commonly used today]
After the door closed Bob silently counted to three, then let out a long breath.
-->
After the door closed, Bob silently counted to three, then let out a long breath.
but the venom in the voice could have poisoned a reservoir.
-->
but the venom in her voice could have poisoned a reservoir.
She was shaking and her face was white. Whether from fear or anger Bob wasn't sure.
-->
She was shaking and her face was white--whether from fear or anger Bob wasn't sure.
***
I tried as best as I could to follow this, given the limited background provided. It might help to have a timeline or character list.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2021
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Thanks for the review. Glad you found it interesting. Being set in England and because I'm English, leant is more common this side of the pond. I'll revisit the other comments
Comment from Jay Squires
Now I know why I followed you, Snodlander ... you're one helluva writer ... in a good sense. Your characters are real, breathing, emoting playing well off each other. Your sense of dramatic timing is impeccable. You've brought the fae into a kind of political reality so the reader can deal with them without thinking of gossamer wings and pointy ears.
Here are some notes I made as I read along:
He lifted the flap and put four classes on the counter. [I believe you mean "glasses" don't you?]
Amanda grabbed a glass and downed half of it in one, [In one what? in one swallow or gulp?]
He dialled another firm. [In Brittain are there two l's in dialed?]
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2021
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Now I know why I followed you, Snodlander ... you're one helluva writer ... in a good sense. Your characters are real, breathing, emoting playing well off each other. Your sense of dramatic timing is impeccable. You've brought the fae into a kind of political reality so the reader can deal with them without thinking of gossamer wings and pointy ears.
Here are some notes I made as I read along:
He lifted the flap and put four classes on the counter. [I believe you mean "glasses" don't you?]
Amanda grabbed a glass and downed half of it in one, [In one what? in one swallow or gulp?]
He dialled another firm. [In Brittain are there two l's in dialed?]
Comment Written 02-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2021
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Oops, I can only blame the first spag on my new classes. As for the other two, they are British idioms / spelling.
Thnaks for the review and the fenerous comments
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You are toooooo funny!