Comment from Jarvis Popovich

Good

Deep. I'm sorry for the loss and pain endured. I feel it in this poem, the hope lost, difficult times. I'm glad he remembered his name.

The sense of loss is strong for searching of meaning and a reality in this case. The words rhymed and good comparisons to paint the picture.

Thanks

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021

Thanks

Comment from Laurie Purse Bell

Good

This is a really powerful poem when you realise it's from your son's point of view. The last 2 lines in particular are jarring for the reader, which I thought was a good technique. I think it could be clearer that Jay is speaking at certain points as the inclusion of ' ' and " is confusing for the reader at points. Overall, a cleverly written poem on an obviously difficult subject for you to write about. Thank you for sharing!

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021

Thanks

Comment from Edward Escobar

Excellent

I commend your heart and the words that describe your loving desire towards the Lord and I was spiritually touched by your sincerity that can only come from our savior, the High priest from above. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021

Well thank you very much for your inspirational review and time!
Doctor Ricky 1024