Shape Shifter
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Shape-Shifter Part One"A Detective John Dutton Novellette
10 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I love your first sentence/paragraph. It reminds me of what I love about Steinbeck's Cannery Row opening. I can give you the link if you'd like it. I just keep rereading his first 2 sencences/paragraphs.
Wonderful animation: "Dutton sat the car down on all four tires and raced on." I like the play on words: "Ballister nipped at his heels." & " And, I'm going to nail his filthy, "
Hmmm. I wonder what issues this is signaling: "But, there were telltale signs throughout his hyper-masculine world."
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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I love your first sentence/paragraph. It reminds me of what I love about Steinbeck's Cannery Row opening. I can give you the link if you'd like it. I just keep rereading his first 2 sencences/paragraphs.
Wonderful animation: "Dutton sat the car down on all four tires and raced on." I like the play on words: "Ballister nipped at his heels." & " And, I'm going to nail his filthy, "
Hmmm. I wonder what issues this is signaling: "But, there were telltale signs throughout his hyper-masculine world."
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Much appreciate your thoughtful and insightful review.
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***smile***
Just read the first couple of sentences. You'll see what I mean
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https://archive.org/stream/in.ernet.dli.2015.207559/2015.207559.Cannery-Row_djvu.txt
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is an interesting and exciting chapter Brett, I shall try to catch up, it sounds like it will be a good read to follow Dutton along on this adventure.
Cheers
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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This is an interesting and exciting chapter Brett, I shall try to catch up, it sounds like it will be a good read to follow Dutton along on this adventure.
Cheers
Comment Written 07-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Appreciate the insightful review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Since I missed the first part of this story, I'm trying to start back and pick it up from the beginning if I can find enough time. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter with all your usual vivid descriptions.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Since I missed the first part of this story, I'm trying to start back and pick it up from the beginning if I can find enough time. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter with all your usual vivid descriptions.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Appreciate that. Really do.
Comment from royowen
I liked the action driving in this along with the potentially explosive characters, your stories revolve around people who are abusers of people, colourful and evocative, fast and dangerous, but rounded off with guys with some principle. Well done, good opening, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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I liked the action driving in this along with the potentially explosive characters, your stories revolve around people who are abusers of people, colourful and evocative, fast and dangerous, but rounded off with guys with some principle. Well done, good opening, blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Your reviews are always appreciated.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a compelling story right from the first sentence, Brett. It moves quickly with action and dialogue. I look forward to reading more.
One thing though. I had trouble knowing who most of the characters are, for instance Marlene and Jordan. You start a sentence with "their anniversary" but give no indication who "they" are (and how they are connected to Adler(?) or Dutton(?) Maybe a list of characters in the notes would help.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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This is a compelling story right from the first sentence, Brett. It moves quickly with action and dialogue. I look forward to reading more.
One thing though. I had trouble knowing who most of the characters are, for instance Marlene and Jordan. You start a sentence with "their anniversary" but give no indication who "they" are (and how they are connected to Adler(?) or Dutton(?) Maybe a list of characters in the notes would help.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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A thoughtful much appreciated review.
Comment from Sankey
This is exciting stuff. I have to see if I missed anything. Have you got a few different stories going at the same time atm? Good read and no spags as far as I can tell.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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This is exciting stuff. I have to see if I missed anything. Have you got a few different stories going at the same time atm? Good read and no spags as far as I can tell.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Glad you enjoyed. Always good to hear from you.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Brett:
You certainly know how to reel in your readers right from the first sentence. Over my almost 50 years in public school education, I have seen the ills that come of enabling kids no matter what they do. Those who feel entitled rarely make good long-term decisions. I look forward to reading your novelette.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Brett:
You certainly know how to reel in your readers right from the first sentence. Over my almost 50 years in public school education, I have seen the ills that come of enabling kids no matter what they do. Those who feel entitled rarely make good long-term decisions. I look forward to reading your novelette.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 02-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Glad you enjoyed. Appreciate the review.
Comment from BethShelby
This sounds like a great start to a story. I look forward to reading more about it if I can keep up with Dutton. He seems to be moving full steam ahead everywhere he goes.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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This sounds like a great start to a story. I look forward to reading more about it if I can keep up with Dutton. He seems to be moving full steam ahead everywhere he goes.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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You are so kind and your reviews always appreciated.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is good writing and I can't wait to read more. You've done a good job capturing the writers attention. I will follow this story until the end.
"You're too late Detective." (comma needed after late)
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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This is good writing and I can't wait to read more. You've done a good job capturing the writers attention. I will follow this story until the end.
"You're too late Detective." (comma needed after late)
Comment Written 02-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Glad you enjoyed this portion. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Vivid and gripping--brilliant dialog--not much I can say overall since I lack context--sugg: backstory/synopsis in notes.
"Their wedding anniversary [IS] a couple days away
Ballister noticed the claw hammer laying=>LYING
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Vivid and gripping--brilliant dialog--not much I can say overall since I lack context--sugg: backstory/synopsis in notes.
"Their wedding anniversary [IS] a couple days away
Ballister noticed the claw hammer laying=>LYING
Comment Written 02-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Appreciate the insights and the review.
