Running Blind
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Double Blind- Chapter Seven"The Blind Girl's toughest cold case.
23 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You've outdone yourself with this personification/animation. I love it. It is classic: "Looking past the bloated car" Great use of juxtaposition for your setting: "as the setting sun danced like diamonds upon the illusionary waters." Your use of an omniscient narrator is perfect for the reader. This is a concept I used with Bea in my Be Wee series :"I remembered my upbringing," I have a funny story about upbringing and how it sticks. I'm sure you were brought u to call everyone Mr or Mrs. I found myself teaching with my brother's 7th grade teacher. It took me 3 years to be able to call her Catherine rather than Miss Moriarty. Your foreshadowing will tug the reader back.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
  |
You've outdone yourself with this personification/animation. I love it. It is classic: "Looking past the bloated car" Great use of juxtaposition for your setting: "as the setting sun danced like diamonds upon the illusionary waters." Your use of an omniscient narrator is perfect for the reader. This is a concept I used with Bea in my Be Wee series :"I remembered my upbringing," I have a funny story about upbringing and how it sticks. I'm sure you were brought u to call everyone Mr or Mrs. I found myself teaching with my brother's 7th grade teacher. It took me 3 years to be able to call her Catherine rather than Miss Moriarty. Your foreshadowing will tug the reader back.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for the detailed review and kindest comments. I'm delighted to know you enjoyed it. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs...
Comment from lyenochka
Enjoyed this chapter with a lot of hints of future challenges to come. I was shocked that Officer Ray jumped into the river, risking her life. Even if she got to the car, she couldn't have helped anyone. Did they not find the body in the trunk yet?
Comments/Question:
I smiled at "Miss Hairdo news"! And I really liked "My taste buds detected an all-nighter coming."
He was rather odd, and his handshake said so much. (I wished I knew in what way he was odd and what was it about his handshake that said it. Was it like a dead fish?)
"What is the "green thingy?" that you like?
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
|
Enjoyed this chapter with a lot of hints of future challenges to come. I was shocked that Officer Ray jumped into the river, risking her life. Even if she got to the car, she couldn't have helped anyone. Did they not find the body in the trunk yet?
Comments/Question:
I smiled at "Miss Hairdo news"! And I really liked "My taste buds detected an all-nighter coming."
He was rather odd, and his handshake said so much. (I wished I knew in what way he was odd and what was it about his handshake that said it. Was it like a dead fish?)
"What is the "green thingy?" that you like?
Comment Written 05-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for the lovely review and generous stars. Being blind, I pick up a lot in a handshake. I wrote it in to my character. Keep your eyes on Mr. Whitehead.
The green thingy is in the author?s notes, and it?s a kale smoothie. :)) Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs?.
-
Ah. I've seen people drink that stuff. I'd much rather have my kale in a salad or sauteed. Lol.
Hope you are feeling better now, Sally! 💖
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Sally,
I noted that someone popped a star on you in the reviews. Don't feel bad. It was one of those newbies, undoubtedly an English major with numerous awards, and recent Fanstory member (April/2021).
I liked the artwork you chose for this chapter, Tony the Tiger (once you find his face). He slipped away from the Vermilion River, and he will escape. I didn't realize it before, but he must have been pretty quick in shifting himself to the passenger seat and slamming Lonnie's lifeless body behind the wheel before the car hit the water. He's an eel! No, he's a tiger. Fortunately, Sally wasn't the 3rd victim. The authorities won't know that there's a second victim until they fetch the car out of the river and open the trunk. Officer Ray will be relieved when the autopsy concludes that both victims were already dead before they hit the water. They didn't drown. So the case will involve murder, and the one survivor needs to be found and questioned about it.
"...she caught sight of the other man who had made it to the river's edge; falling onto the craggy shore."
I stopped short when I read "the bloated car". I wondered about that description for the sinking vehicle. But I did think... whale... and the disappearing car would be kind of like a metal whale, slipping into the murky river current.
Three million dollars!!! Wow! This Spencer Whitehead must be loaded to throw so much money after a painting that really isn't that old.
I'm interested in the meeting with Olivia Henry. And worried for Sally. This Tony Alfanzi is dangerous, and the blind detective should never be left alone.
So many threads to tie in, Sal'. But it all holds the reader's interest. I'm waiting to see how Tony makes his escape. Who is sitting around the campfire? There must be at least two people. He'd like to dry out before continuing his get-away, but he can't leave any witnesses either. The hobos might be his next victims.
Nicely penned! Keep up the good work.
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
 |
Hi Sally,
I noted that someone popped a star on you in the reviews. Don't feel bad. It was one of those newbies, undoubtedly an English major with numerous awards, and recent Fanstory member (April/2021).
I liked the artwork you chose for this chapter, Tony the Tiger (once you find his face). He slipped away from the Vermilion River, and he will escape. I didn't realize it before, but he must have been pretty quick in shifting himself to the passenger seat and slamming Lonnie's lifeless body behind the wheel before the car hit the water. He's an eel! No, he's a tiger. Fortunately, Sally wasn't the 3rd victim. The authorities won't know that there's a second victim until they fetch the car out of the river and open the trunk. Officer Ray will be relieved when the autopsy concludes that both victims were already dead before they hit the water. They didn't drown. So the case will involve murder, and the one survivor needs to be found and questioned about it.
"...she caught sight of the other man who had made it to the river's edge; falling onto the craggy shore."
I stopped short when I read "the bloated car". I wondered about that description for the sinking vehicle. But I did think... whale... and the disappearing car would be kind of like a metal whale, slipping into the murky river current.
Three million dollars!!! Wow! This Spencer Whitehead must be loaded to throw so much money after a painting that really isn't that old.
I'm interested in the meeting with Olivia Henry. And worried for Sally. This Tony Alfanzi is dangerous, and the blind detective should never be left alone.
So many threads to tie in, Sal'. But it all holds the reader's interest. I'm waiting to see how Tony makes his escape. Who is sitting around the campfire? There must be at least two people. He'd like to dry out before continuing his get-away, but he can't leave any witnesses either. The hobos might be his next victims.
Nicely penned! Keep up the good work.
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 05-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for the super kind review and star recovery. Yep, there?s one occasionally that stops by mid-book and wants clarification. I felt like a paper to be graded too, and I detest that. This is a writer?s forum, last I checked. I never feel that way with you, even though you IQ is through the roof. You?re so humble and kind. Thank you, again! Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs?
Comment from Begin Again
Good morning, Sally... Tremendous chapter with many clues and happenings with the selling of the painting (imagine spending three million and having little to say) and the car (with gibbons still in the trunk). And today we meet Olivia and wonder if a connection will be made. Lots to keep us wondering what is about to happen. Great job! Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
|
Good morning, Sally... Tremendous chapter with many clues and happenings with the selling of the painting (imagine spending three million and having little to say) and the car (with gibbons still in the trunk). And today we meet Olivia and wonder if a connection will be made. Lots to keep us wondering what is about to happen. Great job! Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 05-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for the wonderful review and generous shiny stars! I?m so very blessed. I?ve been SO sick and can?t believe I was able to write this chapter and get it posted. God is good. Thank you, again! Sending you my best and blessings always, dear Carol.
Sal XOs?
-
Dear Sally, I am so sorry to hear that you are not feeling well. It appears we all are facing difficult times and struggles. I am amazed how perfectly you wrote the chapter ...Awesome. I have tried to write, but my mind and heart are overwhelmed with concern for my granddaughter. I know God will see us through this, but it's difficult to watch from the sidelines and fearing the worst. Take care of yourself, dear friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you always. (((Hugs))) Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Your story is moving quite fast in this chapter. The murderer at loose, the mystery man paying so much for the painting, drawing close to solving the mystery about Camille/ Olivia .... We are now in suspense about lots of threads. Am enjoying this story and hope to read more soon.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
|
Your story is moving quite fast in this chapter. The murderer at loose, the mystery man paying so much for the painting, drawing close to solving the mystery about Camille/ Olivia .... We are now in suspense about lots of threads. Am enjoying this story and hope to read more soon.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for the wonderful review and kind comments. It means so much, Wendy dear.
Sal XOs?.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Sal.
The story moves quickly from one scene to another. There appears to be a lot of activity down by the river. Your descriptive narratives work well in defining places and actions
PAL Z
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
|
Hello Sal.
The story moves quickly from one scene to another. There appears to be a lot of activity down by the river. Your descriptive narratives work well in defining places and actions
PAL Z
Comment Written 05-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for the excellent review and kind comments, dear Z! It is most appreciated. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal :))
-
You're welcome Sal.
PAL Z
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a gripping chapter, Sally. There are so many things going on that warrant a lot of questions, none of them good. Your detailed descriptions and action scenes are brilliant and are what keeps us holding on. Well done. Looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
|
This is a gripping chapter, Sally. There are so many things going on that warrant a lot of questions, none of them good. Your detailed descriptions and action scenes are brilliant and are what keeps us holding on. Well done. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Dear Judy, thank you so much for this! I?m so very honored and blessed. I?m delighted. It?s been a rough week with food poisoning. I really enjoyed extra star and kind comments. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs?
-
So sorry to hear you?ve had food poisoning, Sally! I had that once. Worst few days ever!
Comment from Sankey
Great chapter again. I am wondering who the buyer was? Is he looking for that diamond? Good reading as always and not a spag anywhere to be found! What more canwe say. You never disappoint.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021
|
Great chapter again. I am wondering who the buyer was? Is he looking for that diamond? Good reading as always and not a spag anywhere to be found! What more canwe say. You never disappoint.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021
-
Aw, thank you so much. I'm so delighted by this. It's good to hear you find this exciting and that you were pleased. No spags? I repaired them earlier. ;) Sending you my best today and blessings always,
Sal XOs...
Comment from royowen
Things are hotting, with the villain to end all villains. The kind that calculates his evil that hunts like the cunning wild animal that he is. I like the way you link all your stories up, connecting them with and through the characters, it's a rather clever thing to do! Well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
|
Things are hotting, with the villain to end all villains. The kind that calculates his evil that hunts like the cunning wild animal that he is. I like the way you link all your stories up, connecting them with and through the characters, it's a rather clever thing to do! Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for the wonderful review and generous compliments, dear Roy. Glad you?re enjoying the ride. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs?
-
Well done
Comment from pome lover
well, miss Sally, this is a fascinating chapter. I need to read the previous ones and catch up.
Do you really like Kale smoothies???
This is good writing.
Found a slight error in the paragraph that begins Detective Lembowsky pulled Jackson and I- should be me - pulled me.
Other than that, muy bueno!!
Happy 4th of July!
Katharine
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021
|
well, miss Sally, this is a fascinating chapter. I need to read the previous ones and catch up.
Do you really like Kale smoothies???
This is good writing.
Found a slight error in the paragraph that begins Detective Lembowsky pulled Jackson and I- should be me - pulled me.
Other than that, muy bueno!!
Happy 4th of July!
Katharine
Comment Written 04-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for stopping by on thos super slow day. You certainly brightened it for me! I appreciate the catch. I'd fixed that but probably forgot to press save. Very important. LOL! I hope you can catch up in this book. Blessings for the 4th and for always, dear Katherine,
Sal XOs...
