wadi flash flood
5-7-5 (torrential rainstorm)6 total reviews
Comment from Debbie Pope
This is an excellent haiku, Mark. I really like your portrayal of the wadi. I think that I would sacrifice the word flash in your last line and replace it with a boring "the." Seems to need it. Or you could try to use one of the haiku formats that allow 6 syllables.
Wish this was in a contest. It's good.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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This is an excellent haiku, Mark. I really like your portrayal of the wadi. I think that I would sacrifice the word flash in your last line and replace it with a boring "the." Seems to need it. Or you could try to use one of the haiku formats that allow 6 syllables.
Wish this was in a contest. It's good.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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Thanks Debbie! As always, you are a good supporter of my short stuff. And, you make critical suggestions to improve the same.
I will stick with my 5-7-5 (or less!) LOL
Mark
P. S. You know I am not boring, so ?the? is something I try to avoid in my poems even when it sounds or feels OK (-;
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Good for you., Mark. I like your wadi just as you described it.
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Good for you., Mark. I like your wadi just as you described it.
Comment from tempeste
Ciao Marco!
Wadi is a word I have not ones across here on fanstory..
I heard it last year when I finally got to see The English Patient.
Almasy( RalphFiennes ) tells the story of the ostrich that feeds/drinks at a wadi ...
In North Africa , a dry wadi , after storms during the wet season, becomes for a brief period alive..
....here, life explodes then little by little the wadi 's bed dries out once again as summer advances .
Your poem worked very well for me .. brought back a great memory of a beautiful film ..
Also by now you know I love nature ... in the wet season the flora and fauna at a wadi is very different from the nearby surrounding desert ecosystem.
Keep safe!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Ciao Marco!
Wadi is a word I have not ones across here on fanstory..
I heard it last year when I finally got to see The English Patient.
Almasy( RalphFiennes ) tells the story of the ostrich that feeds/drinks at a wadi ...
In North Africa , a dry wadi , after storms during the wet season, becomes for a brief period alive..
....here, life explodes then little by little the wadi 's bed dries out once again as summer advances .
Your poem worked very well for me .. brought back a great memory of a beautiful film ..
Also by now you know I love nature ... in the wet season the flora and fauna at a wadi is very different from the nearby surrounding desert ecosystem.
Keep safe!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Thanks Tempeste for your review and the generosity with your stars. Methinks, the Sahara and Death Valley Deserts do not have wadis unless they have rocky mountains. While the Antarctica is considered a desert because of lack of rain conditions, there are no wadis. LOL
Mark
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https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/the-major-wadis-of-egypt.html
You motivated me to do more research :
The Sahara Desert stretches also into good part of Egypt which has several wadis?
? desert wadis are situated on flat or on rolling hills and not near rocky mounts.
I didn?t know the Antartica is considered a desert ( thumbs up )
You always bring more than just great poetry when you post? your poems are engaging on my levels!
Keep safe!
Comment from Sugarray77
As always, you write a great haiku or 5-7-5 any time you put pen to paper, Mark. I really like how you paired this subject with the aerial map of the desert... it expanded the perception and scope. Well done.
Melissa
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021
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As always, you write a great haiku or 5-7-5 any time you put pen to paper, Mark. I really like how you paired this subject with the aerial map of the desert... it expanded the perception and scope. Well done.
Melissa
Comment Written 04-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021
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Thanks Melissa! Quite a contrast to our week in Stowe, Vermont with children and their spouses and our grandchildren where we had only one day that was partially washed out. A/C was on the entire time (-;
We indeed saw lots of the Green Mountains from our porch and a rainbow that covered the entire sky.
Mark
Mark
Comment from Eternal Muse
It's an unusual sight - to see flash flood in a desert. A wonderful picture. This haiku is very well constructed with two interconnected lines of concrete imagery and a great satori in line 3.
Perhaps you should explain the word "wadi" in your author notes. I am sure most readers don't know it.
Excellent work, much enjoyed.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021
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It's an unusual sight - to see flash flood in a desert. A wonderful picture. This haiku is very well constructed with two interconnected lines of concrete imagery and a great satori in line 3.
Perhaps you should explain the word "wadi" in your author notes. I am sure most readers don't know it.
Excellent work, much enjoyed.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021
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hi ET!
So pleased my imagery worked for you with this post. You might be right about defining wadi as a note. I will consider that thought or allow others to decide to look up its meaning.
Mark
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hi ET!
So pleased my imagery worked for you with this post. You might be right about defining wadi as a note. I will consider that thought or allow others to decide to look up its meaning.
Mark
Comment from Pj Dennison
Your traditional Haiku is excellent. It has the proper cut in it between the first two lines. Sometimes people don't understand the cut but you have done it so well. The imagery is great. First seen in my mind is the torrential rainstorm pouring in sheets. The next imagery is of the riverbed filling with water. Then very quickly the flash flood overwhelms the wadi is a great force. I've lived both in Arizona and was deployed to Iraq and have seen a flash flood. In Arizona, they are particularly dramatic in the mountainous areas where they pour off the rock formations and fill up small gorges. I believe your Haiku beautifully captures this event in nature. Your poem is very well done!
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021
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Your traditional Haiku is excellent. It has the proper cut in it between the first two lines. Sometimes people don't understand the cut but you have done it so well. The imagery is great. First seen in my mind is the torrential rainstorm pouring in sheets. The next imagery is of the riverbed filling with water. Then very quickly the flash flood overwhelms the wadi is a great force. I've lived both in Arizona and was deployed to Iraq and have seen a flash flood. In Arizona, they are particularly dramatic in the mountainous areas where they pour off the rock formations and fill up small gorges. I believe your Haiku beautifully captures this event in nature. Your poem is very well done!
Comment Written 04-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021
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Thanks PJ for your nice review and stars. Often we don?t realize that these desert-like areas have these flash floods. So pleased my imagery worked for you.
Mark
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You are very welcome!
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have made excellent use of your seventeen syllables to describe a sight that reaches almost biblical proportions. Reference to a specific area enhances the message.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021
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You have made excellent use of your seventeen syllables to describe a sight that reaches almost biblical proportions. Reference to a specific area enhances the message.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2021
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Thanks Janice! Happy Fourth of July to you and your family.
Mark
