Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Genius In Love, Scene 10"In Search of a Soul
30 total reviews
Comment from kmoss
I enjoy the scenes with Cornelius much more than the scenes with the adults, however this is a very important scene. It shows his caring and understanding mother and his father, well, he may care a little for his own selfish reasons.
I couldn't agree with her more: There are people out in the unwashed world who don't give a shit for Fortune 500 status.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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I enjoy the scenes with Cornelius much more than the scenes with the adults, however this is a very important scene. It shows his caring and understanding mother and his father, well, he may care a little for his own selfish reasons.
I couldn't agree with her more: There are people out in the unwashed world who don't give a shit for Fortune 500 status.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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Glad this scene resonated with you, Krystal. We'll see how it plays out when they meet the Jaxes.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Very relaxing music in the background quells the insipid dialogue of Cornelius's father. He does seem a shallow man who needs an endless explanation when it comes to deeper stuff. This sounds like a very interesting meeting.
The dialogue between mother and father is quite enlightening in regard to their relationship.
Ralf
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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Very relaxing music in the background quells the insipid dialogue of Cornelius's father. He does seem a shallow man who needs an endless explanation when it comes to deeper stuff. This sounds like a very interesting meeting.
The dialogue between mother and father is quite enlightening in regard to their relationship.
Ralf
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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A little sailor-ish, some felt. But I felt it was needed for the sake of voracity.
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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 A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review. |
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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I am humbled, committee members! This is quite an honor. Thank you!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Very good scene. We are left with a clear knowledge of the two parents' attitudes. If you are going to have the parents invite Jenny's parents to a meal, you should set this scene in the dining area as you need as few scene changes as possible. Tolache can be checking that the table is set correctly, or could be setting it herself, although I'd think she has a maid to do that. Also, does the family have two pianos (one in living room and one in another room)?
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Very good scene. We are left with a clear knowledge of the two parents' attitudes. If you are going to have the parents invite Jenny's parents to a meal, you should set this scene in the dining area as you need as few scene changes as possible. Tolache can be checking that the table is set correctly, or could be setting it herself, although I'd think she has a maid to do that. Also, does the family have two pianos (one in living room and one in another room)?
Comment Written 30-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Hi, Carol, thank you for reading and your response and suggestions. I had originally thought of having a dinner scene, but frankly, I am too inexperienced in the staging of the play so that all can be seen without one character upstaging another, that I decided on having the families meet only in the living room. Nothing really would be gained, drama-wise, by having them eat together. But your suggestions would have been spot on, had I decided on that. Thank you so much for following this, and for your lovely sparklies.
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I did misunderstand as I thought they were coming for a meal. Better not to, actually. We had a meet the parents
meeting once, on a more serious topic, but if someone can be upset food is a bad thing.
Comment from amahra
I liked the soothing piano music you provided, Jay. This was a great scene; Starting in the middle but I'm quickly understanding and liking certain characters. I hope Howard doesn't spoil his son's relationship with Jenny by telling Mrs. Jax about Cornelius's condition. Good scene, Jay.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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I liked the soothing piano music you provided, Jay. This was a great scene; Starting in the middle but I'm quickly understanding and liking certain characters. I hope Howard doesn't spoil his son's relationship with Jenny by telling Mrs. Jax about Cornelius's condition. Good scene, Jay.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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I'm so happy you enjoyed this scene, Amahra. I'll take your starting in the middle any time. You may, though, want to go back and just read the "thumbnail sketch" for each previous scene to give you a solid grounding.
Comment from RGstar
An artistic, actor or singer must immerse themselves into character...no apologies needed if in context of the theme...and this is.
A painter does not paint daises if he is wants to show stinging nettles.
Credible and in line with character, you give us a more embodied and detail script, as visioned as any chapter or book.
Absolutely brilliant writing. The dialogue and scenes don't have that dicey, choppy feel to them, as many scripts can.
A very well done. By the way, I didn't hear any foul language...just language...so should it be.
My best wishes Jay.
RG
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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An artistic, actor or singer must immerse themselves into character...no apologies needed if in context of the theme...and this is.
A painter does not paint daises if he is wants to show stinging nettles.
Credible and in line with character, you give us a more embodied and detail script, as visioned as any chapter or book.
Absolutely brilliant writing. The dialogue and scenes don't have that dicey, choppy feel to them, as many scripts can.
A very well done. By the way, I didn't hear any foul language...just language...so should it be.
My best wishes Jay.
RG
Comment Written 29-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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RG, you are a blessing for my day. Thank you for your reading and assurances and of course for FS highest honor, the six stars. If you struggle as I do to stretch out your sixes to last for the week, never hesitate to give me a 5. I know where your heart is.
Comment from Senyai
Hi Jay,
Marvelous, just marvelous! Scene 10 shows the dynamic between Mr and Mrs, Plumb more clearly, perhaps even giving Mr. Plumb more humanity in that he genuinely takes an interest in his son as Cornelius is approaching adolescence. As a father, he can relate somewhere in the back of his Fortune 500 mind, that even in autism there is the desire to share, to relate to be loved. Cornie may need his Dad after all as he is showing feelings stirring about for the little wee Jenny Jax. Howard even seems vaguely touched by Toloache's tears about Cornie's condition in light of a new found friend in Jenny and what new worries that may entail...
I played the soft background music as I read and it added another dimension to the scene, Jay. I imaged Cornie in the piano room playing pensively thinking on his new feelings.
You treat this scene with such warmth and realism concerning the autism condition and how dreadfully hard it must have been to raise an autistic child ... particularly in the 1950's!
I am rooting for Cornie, Jenny Jax, Howard and Tolo, Mr. Hallows and also Cililla Queez. Tenderly you weave this awesome story.
I was sad when the scene ended, Jay. Wanting to read more ...
Waiting patiently,
Senyai
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Hi Jay,
Marvelous, just marvelous! Scene 10 shows the dynamic between Mr and Mrs, Plumb more clearly, perhaps even giving Mr. Plumb more humanity in that he genuinely takes an interest in his son as Cornelius is approaching adolescence. As a father, he can relate somewhere in the back of his Fortune 500 mind, that even in autism there is the desire to share, to relate to be loved. Cornie may need his Dad after all as he is showing feelings stirring about for the little wee Jenny Jax. Howard even seems vaguely touched by Toloache's tears about Cornie's condition in light of a new found friend in Jenny and what new worries that may entail...
I played the soft background music as I read and it added another dimension to the scene, Jay. I imaged Cornie in the piano room playing pensively thinking on his new feelings.
You treat this scene with such warmth and realism concerning the autism condition and how dreadfully hard it must have been to raise an autistic child ... particularly in the 1950's!
I am rooting for Cornie, Jenny Jax, Howard and Tolo, Mr. Hallows and also Cililla Queez. Tenderly you weave this awesome story.
I was sad when the scene ended, Jay. Wanting to read more ...
Waiting patiently,
Senyai
Comment Written 29-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Once again, you validated my decision to award you with the reviewer's recommendation in two more days. You are such a perceptive and cogent reader, a magnet for the hidden feelings of the characters. Thank you for the six!
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Jay, you are most welcome. I love Cornie and Jenny Jax, even Tolo and Howard now. Of course, Cililla and Mr. Hallows. Something good has to come from the Jax?s visit ? I hope :-)
These characters all ?live? for me now. See what you?ve done? Lol :-)
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I feel so privileged to have you along for the ride, Senyai.
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No, I am privileged, Jay :-)
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Forgive me the lack of a six, Jay, this is perfection. What I would love to see happen now, is Mr and Mrs Jax are far higher up the social ranking status than Howard. Howard couldn't understand why Mr Hallow's was so pleased to see these two children becoming friends. I think that Jennie also has a few problems, acute shyness, perhaps? Seeing Cornelius as someone she can relate to would draw her to him. I can't wait to find out how the visit turns out. I do not like Howard one tiny bit! I feel so much sadness for Toloache, she needs a man to lean on, not a slimeball! Well done my friend. Excellent again. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Forgive me the lack of a six, Jay, this is perfection. What I would love to see happen now, is Mr and Mrs Jax are far higher up the social ranking status than Howard. Howard couldn't understand why Mr Hallow's was so pleased to see these two children becoming friends. I think that Jennie also has a few problems, acute shyness, perhaps? Seeing Cornelius as someone she can relate to would draw her to him. I can't wait to find out how the visit turns out. I do not like Howard one tiny bit! I feel so much sadness for Toloache, she needs a man to lean on, not a slimeball! Well done my friend. Excellent again. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 29-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Oh Sandra, you must raise your right hand this moment and promise you will never worry about giving me a sixth star again. It's your words I want to hear since they are such a clear reflection of your heart. Thank you for being here.
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You are such a lovely person, Jay. I'm so pleased we are friends. xxx
Comment from Brenda Henderson
Eloquently and beautifully written. A lovely sensitive story. I understand your concerns about the language. I do get a sense of the character's frustration. I think you might do well to soften Toloache's language. I get impression that you intend her to be more socially adept than her spouse and more emotionally intelligent than he. Therefore I would suggest that her language be free of any foul language. I see her as a soft but vehement protector of the boy and peacekeepers within the household as you have written her. That is unless you prefer her to appear more baudy in character. If you limit her expletives when and if she does utter one it will have greater impact. I found the story exemplary. Unfortunately I did not have 6 stars remaining to award or I would have given them here. They are deserved.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Eloquently and beautifully written. A lovely sensitive story. I understand your concerns about the language. I do get a sense of the character's frustration. I think you might do well to soften Toloache's language. I get impression that you intend her to be more socially adept than her spouse and more emotionally intelligent than he. Therefore I would suggest that her language be free of any foul language. I see her as a soft but vehement protector of the boy and peacekeepers within the household as you have written her. That is unless you prefer her to appear more baudy in character. If you limit her expletives when and if she does utter one it will have greater impact. I found the story exemplary. Unfortunately I did not have 6 stars remaining to award or I would have given them here. They are deserved.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Ah, Brenda, thank you so much, especially for your very constructive thoughts on the use of language. As I mentioned to another reviewer about my personal feelings vis-a-vis vulgar language, I rarely use it myself ... only when I am truly frustrated or in physical pain. I never heard my Dad swear until he was in his mid to late eighties. Which was odd. But growing up, I learned by his and my Mom's examples. Now ... that said, my wife and I had some doozies of arguments. I never laid a hand on her, nor she me. Though she did throw a glass of water in my face once, and the argument devolved to a fit of mutual giggles. But while we argued, there were sailors and truckers who would have blushed. I don't think that we were too different from most married couples in it for the long haul. Anyhoo, I was patterning Howards and Toloache's verbalizing after ours. There was also a great deal of biting sarcasm when we weren't cussing.
I sincerely thank you, though, for your candid words. Your name as been added to my list of Reviewer nominees first of next month. So when you get one from me, remember it was for your brilliant commentary.
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Thank You!
Comment from judiverse
Howard is too much! I can't believe he thinks his son should be in an institution. He won't feel that way if Cornelius is on a concert tour and raking in the money. I don't why the principal has become so involved in the friendship of Cornelius and Jennie. It doesn't seem too out of line for that age, and the seem to know each other well enough that Cornelius's strange ways aren't bothering her. Anyhow, it's probably a good idea for the parents to meet, and It looks like Howard is agreeable to being in on the meeting. The dialogue is great, although Howard seems a bit extreme in his views. Lovely music. judi
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Howard is too much! I can't believe he thinks his son should be in an institution. He won't feel that way if Cornelius is on a concert tour and raking in the money. I don't why the principal has become so involved in the friendship of Cornelius and Jennie. It doesn't seem too out of line for that age, and the seem to know each other well enough that Cornelius's strange ways aren't bothering her. Anyhow, it's probably a good idea for the parents to meet, and It looks like Howard is agreeable to being in on the meeting. The dialogue is great, although Howard seems a bit extreme in his views. Lovely music. judi
Comment Written 28-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Thank you, Judi. Do you think I went too far with Howard's self-absorption? I was actually worried I might slip into stereotyping. Thanks for your straightforward comments.
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You're very welcome. I did think Howard was a bit much. It seemed to soften him a bit when he agreed to meeting the girl's parents. Maybe we can see a change in attitude as he comes to understand Cornelius better. judi