Comment from royowen

Excellent

Obviously the language is parochial, otherwise I would have been very busy. Of course this was written with you tongue stuck firmly in your cheek. Well put together and a very amusing, well written job Portia, good job, blessings Roy
Typo : Retire on (disrebility) disability?

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021

Roy,

Thanks for reviewing this bit of silliness. It was fun to write, a challenge to myself.

Thanks for your kind review.

Blessings...Portia

reply by royowen on 23-Jun-2021

Good job

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

AaaHAHAHAHA!!! The Keep On Ticking Nursery Home!!! THE BEST!!! But it's all a hoot!!! Good heavens, methinks you've found another outlet for all that talent, my friend.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021

Dawn,

I am glad you enjoyed my bit of silliness. This was a challenge to myself; I had lots of fun penning this. I appreciate your support and kindness.

Hugs... Portia

reply by Dawn Munro on 24-Jun-2021

Hugs back. Missing them dearly!!! COVID!!!! GAH!!!

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This humorous spy story, My Cuz the Detective, is nicely told in this almost totally Norm-Crosbyed-style which brought the grins as I read along. Fun story.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021

Thanks so much for your review and comments; they are greatly appreciated.

Blessings...

Comment from equestrik

Good

I think your ability to be creative is evident. I have to say that though I enjoyed the story and found it clever, I was a bit lost on some of the lingo even though I know it was part of the requirements.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021

Thank you for your review and comments,

Blessings...

Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock

Excellent

All in all, I enjoyed your play on words and your great sense of humor. The story was quite believable since this is a common occurrence with retired folks that are in Assisted Living quarters.

Ralf

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021

Thanks so much for your review and comments.

Blessings...

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

It was clever, and humorous, so well done. You met the requirements of the contest in many and various ways! Your story was well written also, so I send good wishes for the contest.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021

Thanks so much for your review and comments.

Comment from Patty Palmer

Excellent

I think you did a fine job at writing this. I wasn't sure when I read the prompt what they were looking for with a spy in my soup. I had no idea what they were talking about. But, you did fine. Good luck with the contest.
Patty

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021

Thanks so much for your review and comments.

reply by Patty Palmer on 20-Jun-2021

You're welcome!
Patty

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Haha, your play on words is great, Mystery Author. I really enjoyed the name of the nursing home and the menu items ordered--Parmejohn chicken and Keep On Ticking Nursery Home. Your story reads well with great details Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2021

Jan,

Thanks so much for your review and comments; coming from a great writer like yourself makes my first time writing a story not so bad. Thanks for making my day.

Blessings...

reply by Jannypan (Jan) on 19-Jun-2021

😊

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Hmm, this is very good. You did exactly what the contest called for. You many puns and near word meanings. If one did not know what this contest called for, a reader would be shocked.

But as it is. You have a good entry. I wish you luck in the voting booth.

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2021

Thanks so much for your review, very kind comments, and best wishes.

Blessings...Portia

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Good

I enjoyed reading the contest entry and your cousin must have been an interesting old man. I think he would have been fun. LOL Please recheck this for errors. The story is good. Good luck with the contest.


My Cuzin John was employed as a detective with the (Maybe this was intentional and if it is, I am sorry but cousin it the correct spelling. I won't mention it again. Also there are numerous misspelled words. If you did it on purpose you need to add it to the authors' notes so we know it.)

So, It's that time again, Friday, my weekly lunch date with Cuzin John. (lower case 'i' needed on it's)

I always have to remind Cuzin John that he is diabetical and he must be

careful when placing his order. We don't' need his sugary levels to go up. (Careful should be on the same line as be. The space should not be there.)

He gave me one of his dismeanful looks and placed his order. I believe in

his mind he thinks that I am the emmy. (Same thing here the space should not be here and the same through the rest of the story.)


This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2021

Thanks so much for your review and comments; the misspelled words are intentional. I believe it is ok because of the writing prompt.

Then again, my friend, I may have it all wrong. This is my second time writing in this manner. I enjoy writing poems that rhyme. So I thought I would give this a try.

Thanks for your kindness and suggestions.

Have a great day.

Hugs...

reply by barbara.wilkey on 19-Jun-2021

I'm not sure of the rules for this contest, but usually narrative has to be grammatically correct. In dialogue the writer can use creativity. There are exceptions.