Running Blind
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Running Blind ~ Chapter Six"The Blind Girl's toughest cold case.
29 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Good Morning, Sally
just observed~
This sounds like the Wicked Witch of the West in "The Wizard of Oz", when she snarled: "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too..."
"I'll get you too, Blind Girl, and the paintings...."
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Look-alikes...
I used to work at the Grand Bay Drive-In years ago, 1967-1971. I worked at the box office, taking money from passengers in their car to the cashier, and returning ticket stubs. I was like the mailman, whose motto began: "Neither snow nor rain nor heat, nor gloom of night..." One night a carload came in, and after I had handed them their stubs, a couple of them called after me: "Stuck-up!" They didn't believe me when I told them I wasn't who they thought I was. I was right up at the car window, and they swore I was "so-and-so". I never forgot that altercation.
"So many visitors from every walk of life: the good, the bad, the rich, and some just gettin' by. Those looking for a game of chance, or just fine Louisiana cuisine." ...(These two sentences are incomplete. You could call them interjections. As such, they are fine in a novel, a writer's whim. But I'm just wondering if you might combine the two here?
So many visitors from every walk of life... the good, the bad, the rich, and some just gettin' by, come looking for a game of chance, or just fine Louisiana cuisine.)
This really surprised me, Sally...
"The driver took off again gaining speed, breaking through a barrier, and plunged into the waters of the Vermilion River. Sergeant Ray watched in horror as the car was swept downstream. The driver was slumped over the steering wheel, and another man was seen jumping into the current from the passenger's side window." If this is Tony Alfanzi, he didn't want to get caught with a dead body in the back seat. He was desperately trying to get away from this copper, Sgt. Dina Ray, who actually dove in to try and save the hoodlum. "Sergeant Ray looked both ways and prayed. This will be over in five minutes. Oh God, help me! She dove into the chilly waters fully clothed."
And at the auction... $3,000,000! Wow! Sally is rich. Some people are loaded, I guess. And spending so much money on a painting is like nothing, whilst I argue with myself about buying a No Name bag of chips or Humpty Dumpty. I wonder who the wealthy "gentleman in the back" is?
Nicely penned, as usual, Sally! Excellent work.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Good Morning, Sally
just observed~
This sounds like the Wicked Witch of the West in "The Wizard of Oz", when she snarled: "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too..."
"I'll get you too, Blind Girl, and the paintings...."
******************************************************************
Look-alikes...
I used to work at the Grand Bay Drive-In years ago, 1967-1971. I worked at the box office, taking money from passengers in their car to the cashier, and returning ticket stubs. I was like the mailman, whose motto began: "Neither snow nor rain nor heat, nor gloom of night..." One night a carload came in, and after I had handed them their stubs, a couple of them called after me: "Stuck-up!" They didn't believe me when I told them I wasn't who they thought I was. I was right up at the car window, and they swore I was "so-and-so". I never forgot that altercation.
"So many visitors from every walk of life: the good, the bad, the rich, and some just gettin' by. Those looking for a game of chance, or just fine Louisiana cuisine." ...(These two sentences are incomplete. You could call them interjections. As such, they are fine in a novel, a writer's whim. But I'm just wondering if you might combine the two here?
So many visitors from every walk of life... the good, the bad, the rich, and some just gettin' by, come looking for a game of chance, or just fine Louisiana cuisine.)
This really surprised me, Sally...
"The driver took off again gaining speed, breaking through a barrier, and plunged into the waters of the Vermilion River. Sergeant Ray watched in horror as the car was swept downstream. The driver was slumped over the steering wheel, and another man was seen jumping into the current from the passenger's side window." If this is Tony Alfanzi, he didn't want to get caught with a dead body in the back seat. He was desperately trying to get away from this copper, Sgt. Dina Ray, who actually dove in to try and save the hoodlum. "Sergeant Ray looked both ways and prayed. This will be over in five minutes. Oh God, help me! She dove into the chilly waters fully clothed."
And at the auction... $3,000,000! Wow! Sally is rich. Some people are loaded, I guess. And spending so much money on a painting is like nothing, whilst I argue with myself about buying a No Name bag of chips or Humpty Dumpty. I wonder who the wealthy "gentleman in the back" is?
Nicely penned, as usual, Sally! Excellent work.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 28-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Thank you, dear Kim. Wow, that improvement really made all the difference. Now that area is spectacular. Thanks so much, my sage! Your lifetime of writing experience have blessed me once again. :) Thanks so much for the wonderful comments and for the shiny six stars. Blessings always,
Sal :)) XOs...
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Fantastic job, Detective Sal! You're on the case, crime-fighting, Louisiana style. Just watch out for that Tony the Tiger creep. I hope Sergeant Ray does okay with the water rescue, in those chilly waters; she's a brave soul.
Errors and suggestions:
There appears to be two men in the car.
-->
There appear to be two men in the car.
A deep fushia sky kissed down upon Bourbon Street.
-->
A deep fuchsia sky kissed down upon Bourbon Street.
crowding the sidewalks and narrow bi-ways.
-->
crowding the sidewalks and narrow byways.
after I confirmed it's authenticity from my uncle's art journal.
-->
after I confirmed its authenticity from my uncle's art journal.
Waiting arraignment in River Ridge.
-->
Awaiting arraignment in River Ridge.
***
I especially love the way you wrote this paragraph:
"Spectators and music buffs seem to enjoy the rhythm and blues, no matter their persuasion or pocketbook. This is the best of New Orleans on a summer's night.... It is never unspoiled though, not when evil moves about with a smile."
And I loved your closing line. No, not the one that says "To be continued"; the one right before that!
Jackson had to close your mouth, so funny! You, Jackson and King make a great dynamic trio.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2021
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Fantastic job, Detective Sal! You're on the case, crime-fighting, Louisiana style. Just watch out for that Tony the Tiger creep. I hope Sergeant Ray does okay with the water rescue, in those chilly waters; she's a brave soul.
Errors and suggestions:
There appears to be two men in the car.
-->
There appear to be two men in the car.
A deep fushia sky kissed down upon Bourbon Street.
-->
A deep fuchsia sky kissed down upon Bourbon Street.
crowding the sidewalks and narrow bi-ways.
-->
crowding the sidewalks and narrow byways.
after I confirmed it's authenticity from my uncle's art journal.
-->
after I confirmed its authenticity from my uncle's art journal.
Waiting arraignment in River Ridge.
-->
Awaiting arraignment in River Ridge.
***
I especially love the way you wrote this paragraph:
"Spectators and music buffs seem to enjoy the rhythm and blues, no matter their persuasion or pocketbook. This is the best of New Orleans on a summer's night.... It is never unspoiled though, not when evil moves about with a smile."
And I loved your closing line. No, not the one that says "To be continued"; the one right before that!
Jackson had to close your mouth, so funny! You, Jackson and King make a great dynamic trio.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the wonderful review, dear Mary Kay. The kind critique is most helpful. I?ve made all the necessary repairs. I appreciate you so much and the attention to the smallest details. Sending you my best today and love and blessings always,
Sal XOs?
Comment from lyenochka
You covered so much in this chapter! I like how wise Sally is in that she isn't quick to say anything about or to Olivia until they are 100% certain. I also thought you described the accident with great drama - perfect for the screen. I know nothing about art auctions so I'll just assume that such high prices go for paintings.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2021
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You covered so much in this chapter! I like how wise Sally is in that she isn't quick to say anything about or to Olivia until they are 100% certain. I also thought you described the accident with great drama - perfect for the screen. I know nothing about art auctions so I'll just assume that such high prices go for paintings.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the wonderful review and star shower, dear Helen. This means the world to me. Yes, original art from a long-standing resident, in a private auction, can be very pricey. There?s a bit more to this that will be disclosed later. As you know, I like to have a lot of intrigue. Sending you my best today and love and blessings always,
Sal XOs?
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Who bought your painting? We'll find out in the next chapter...these paintings are of a floral design? which evidently meets the interest of many buyers. Hopefully the person who bid is a good person of great character.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Who bought your painting? We'll find out in the next chapter...these paintings are of a floral design? which evidently meets the interest of many buyers. Hopefully the person who bid is a good person of great character.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the wonderful review and for catching up. It is greatly appreciated. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs...
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Sal.
There seems to be a lot going on in this chapter. an automobile takes a nosedive into the river and the painting goes on sale. $3 million is a lot of money for a picture. $3 million is a lot of money for anything.
PAL Z
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Hello Sal.
There seems to be a lot going on in this chapter. an automobile takes a nosedive into the river and the painting goes on sale. $3 million is a lot of money for a picture. $3 million is a lot of money for anything.
PAL Z
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Thank you, dear Z. There is a lot going on. I hate to be boring. I'm delighted you're with me. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal your pal:))
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You're welcome Sal.
PAL Z
Comment from Wendy G
Another interesting and well- written chapter. I had thought that Camille would be Olivia, but there is a fascinating back-story waiting to be filled in. Quite dangerous for Dina to jump into the river after two criminals. They must have been desperate to escape to risk their lives in this way. Needing to read more soon!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Another interesting and well- written chapter. I had thought that Camille would be Olivia, but there is a fascinating back-story waiting to be filled in. Quite dangerous for Dina to jump into the river after two criminals. They must have been desperate to escape to risk their lives in this way. Needing to read more soon!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the great review and insightful comments. Both are greatly appreciated. Sending along my very best,
Sal XOs...
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Wow, Sal:
Could I get a 10% seller's fee on that painting? Just kidding, of course! How wonderful for the Blind Detective. Of course, the painting has to safely get into the buyer's hands, right? Nothing is ever simple, is it? I suspect the driver of the car that went into the river had been hijacked by the criminal mastermind who conveniently slipped out the passenger-side window. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Wow, Sal:
Could I get a 10% seller's fee on that painting? Just kidding, of course! How wonderful for the Blind Detective. Of course, the painting has to safely get into the buyer's hands, right? Nothing is ever simple, is it? I suspect the driver of the car that went into the river had been hijacked by the criminal mastermind who conveniently slipped out the passenger-side window. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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You should write crime fiction, dear Jan. You have everything you need. Just let me know how I can help. Thank you for the wonderful review and insightful comments. You are really good at seeing into this story considering you missed book one and two. I?m working on getting book two ready for publishing. Thank you, again! Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs?
Comment from royowen
It's truly staggering what quality art can be sold for, particularly if the artist I'd deceased, their likes will genuinely never be seen again, now that you are rich Sally...remember little old me! So the cases roll on, crime never seems to take a nap does it? Well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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It's truly staggering what quality art can be sold for, particularly if the artist I'd deceased, their likes will genuinely never be seen again, now that you are rich Sally...remember little old me! So the cases roll on, crime never seems to take a nap does it? Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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I won't allow for my readers to nap, therefore, we keep moving. So glad you like! Sending you my best today as always and many thanks for the kind review,
Sal XOs...
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Well done Sally
Comment from Liz O'Neill
The first part will definitely grab the reader's attention. They will definitely will want to return to this event whose description created a graphic movie in their heads.
I like how you did not use the timeworn expression but instead used a more unique metaphor: "had most likely been sent to the bottom of the Mississippi wearing a concrete overcoat." Whoa, that's a lot of $$.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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The first part will definitely grab the reader's attention. They will definitely will want to return to this event whose description created a graphic movie in their heads.
I like how you did not use the timeworn expression but instead used a more unique metaphor: "had most likely been sent to the bottom of the Mississippi wearing a concrete overcoat." Whoa, that's a lot of $$.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Everyone liked the concrete overcoat. I took that from my mom. She said that a lot. She was quite a character herself. So glad you're enjoying this, Liz dear. Blessings always,
Sal XOs...
Comment from Sankey
This was another great chapter. Was the buyer of the painting the scoundrel? Just one little spag this time and a further comment. Well done! Keep it coming! "I will pay her (a)visit
Loved this...a concrete overcoat.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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This was another great chapter. Was the buyer of the painting the scoundrel? Just one little spag this time and a further comment. Well done! Keep it coming! "I will pay her (a)visit
Loved this...a concrete overcoat.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review and generous six stars, dear Geoff. I'm always so blessed. So glad you liked it. Sending along my very best and blessings always,
Sal XOs...
