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unusual tail17 total reviews
Comment from JPGeo
You did a great job with this story. I love the park scene with the dogs running to the space beings. It would make a great kids book that you could followup with a second book where the aliens return. Glad you posted this!
Cheers,
John
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
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You did a great job with this story. I love the park scene with the dogs running to the space beings. It would make a great kids book that you could followup with a second book where the aliens return. Glad you posted this!
Cheers,
John
Comment Written 29-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much. Happy New Year! Elaine
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I liked reading this. For some reason it felt really more like a book report or a plot synopsis rather than a story. I think it was because it was all in third person point of view, without any dialogue. The only thing in quotation marks doesn't feel like dialogue, just a question that every alien seemed to have as a group.
One suggestion is to also watch out for run-on sentences. Here is one:
The aliens are in awe with the quadrupeds and watch them while taking mental notes which are telepathically sent to the home world.
I think I would try:
The aliens are in awe of the quadrupeds and watch them while taking mental notes, which are telepathically sent to the home world. (In other words, just add a comma in front of dependent clauses).This does sound like it would be an entertaining long story or even a short novel aimed at younger readers.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
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I liked reading this. For some reason it felt really more like a book report or a plot synopsis rather than a story. I think it was because it was all in third person point of view, without any dialogue. The only thing in quotation marks doesn't feel like dialogue, just a question that every alien seemed to have as a group.
One suggestion is to also watch out for run-on sentences. Here is one:
The aliens are in awe with the quadrupeds and watch them while taking mental notes which are telepathically sent to the home world.
I think I would try:
The aliens are in awe of the quadrupeds and watch them while taking mental notes, which are telepathically sent to the home world. (In other words, just add a comma in front of dependent clauses).This does sound like it would be an entertaining long story or even a short novel aimed at younger readers.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
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Thank you for your suggestions. I am the run on sentence queen and need to work on that defect. I definitely could re-write this story with your suggestion. Sorry so long in responding, I have had a busy few months. Happy New Year. Elaine
Comment from Paul Manton
Beautifully written, with the kind of innocent curiosity which I love in stories. I do hope that there will be a sequel to study 'the tail' once more. Some daft humor too (the sort I put into Toby Toad) and some delicious irony. The dogs see what the humans can't. I wonder if children might see the aliens? Or maybe the aliens have a way of cloaking to different groups.
The description of Alfred is priceless - 'every dog has his day' - and this was certainly Alfred's! His showing off his 'moves' was probably a human trait, but why should Alfred care about that! He probably learned all his bad habits from us.
Just wonderful, mermaids. Please write a follow-up.
Paul
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
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Beautifully written, with the kind of innocent curiosity which I love in stories. I do hope that there will be a sequel to study 'the tail' once more. Some daft humor too (the sort I put into Toby Toad) and some delicious irony. The dogs see what the humans can't. I wonder if children might see the aliens? Or maybe the aliens have a way of cloaking to different groups.
The description of Alfred is priceless - 'every dog has his day' - and this was certainly Alfred's! His showing off his 'moves' was probably a human trait, but why should Alfred care about that! He probably learned all his bad habits from us.
Just wonderful, mermaids. Please write a follow-up.
Paul
Comment Written 29-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
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Love your review and I think a follow up would be a good idea. Happy New Year. Thank you so much. Elaine
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Welcome, Elaine.
Paul
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You made me smile here with this fantasy write and your inventive story is clever and full of humour. Just imagine aliens encountering all our unusual creatures on earth, but they would fear us humans most, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
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You made me smile here with this fantasy write and your inventive story is clever and full of humour. Just imagine aliens encountering all our unusual creatures on earth, but they would fear us humans most, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
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Thank you for reading my alien/ canine tale. Elaine
Comment from Lea Tonin1
I like this one it's very neat very well put together. Yeah I don't know how they focus on the dogs too that's also pretty cool! Start to finish I was engaged and your characters are vibrant and believable and real! Is this a mark of a good writer if he asked me if captured my interest right away I'm on it from beginning to end so that is the case with yours captured my interest right away. I see nothing wrong with your spelling punctuation sentence structure Nothing like that it's very well done and I wish you all the best. Thanks have a great day!
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
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I like this one it's very neat very well put together. Yeah I don't know how they focus on the dogs too that's also pretty cool! Start to finish I was engaged and your characters are vibrant and believable and real! Is this a mark of a good writer if he asked me if captured my interest right away I'm on it from beginning to end so that is the case with yours captured my interest right away. I see nothing wrong with your spelling punctuation sentence structure Nothing like that it's very well done and I wish you all the best. Thanks have a great day!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
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I am glad you enjoyed my alien/canine tale. Thanks for taking time to read. Elaine
Comment from lyenochka
That's cute! And perhaps in some ways, the dogs have a superior sense of loyalty and willingness to forgive. Now if the aliens saw a group of cats, I wonder what they would have shared with their superiors. Enjoyed your fun story!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2021
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That's cute! And perhaps in some ways, the dogs have a superior sense of loyalty and willingness to forgive. Now if the aliens saw a group of cats, I wonder what they would have shared with their superiors. Enjoyed your fun story!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2021
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Thanks for reading and enjoying. Elaine
Comment from equestrik
This is a cute and clever write. I can well imagine that many of our animal companions and how we interact with them would draw attention from aliens. Fun write!
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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This is a cute and clever write. I can well imagine that many of our animal companions and how we interact with them would draw attention from aliens. Fun write!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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Thanks for taking time to read and enjoy. Elaine
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Intriguing to contemplate! Brilliant theme--the irony of aliens being fascinated with dogs vs humans. Many humans would agree.
in awe [with=OF]
new found=>newfound (one word)
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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Intriguing to contemplate! Brilliant theme--the irony of aliens being fascinated with dogs vs humans. Many humans would agree.
in awe [with=OF]
new found=>newfound (one word)
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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Thanks for your suggestions and reading my scifi tale. Elaine
Comment from Sugarray77
You did a very good job with this imaginative theme. It is fun to see a story veer away from studying humans and focusing on the pets. Well done and logically presented.
Melissa
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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You did a very good job with this imaginative theme. It is fun to see a story veer away from studying humans and focusing on the pets. Well done and logically presented.
Melissa
Comment Written 29-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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Thanks so much. Elaine
Comment from pome lover
very cute and original! To my knowledge, there's never been a story about that connection before, however, my knowledge of alien stories isn't vast, so... but I really liked it. I wish it had been longer. Might you have a sequel?
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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very cute and original! To my knowledge, there's never been a story about that connection before, however, my knowledge of alien stories isn't vast, so... but I really liked it. I wish it had been longer. Might you have a sequel?
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 29-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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A sequel is a good idea. Thanks for your encouraging words. Elaine
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you're most welcome
