Who Cares?
Surprise short story.5 total reviews
Comment from Versch
This is a beautiful story with the element of surprise that meets the contest's theme. Hill, must have had the surprise of his life. There is just one sentence "I think." which is out of place here because it is in the first person, whereas the rest of the story the narrator uses the third person (he, him, his).
Regards,
versch
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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This is a beautiful story with the element of surprise that meets the contest's theme. Hill, must have had the surprise of his life. There is just one sentence "I think." which is out of place here because it is in the first person, whereas the rest of the story the narrator uses the third person (he, him, his).
Regards,
versch
Comment Written 16-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Thank you!
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You are welcome!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Paul ! what a cute carton of the dog (I cannot remember his name being surprised in 80 words
seeing his friends and a package for him to open.
Gert
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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Paul ! what a cute carton of the dog (I cannot remember his name being surprised in 80 words
seeing his friends and a package for him to open.
Gert
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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Thank you!
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You are welcome Paul1
Gert
Comment from Carol Clark2
This is a cute, very short story for the contest. Just a suggestion: try to keep your verb tenses consistent. Your word count is right on the button, and you've included the element of surprise. Love the picture! Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2021
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This is a cute, very short story for the contest. Just a suggestion: try to keep your verb tenses consistent. Your word count is right on the button, and you've included the element of surprise. Love the picture! Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2021
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Thank you!
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You're welcome. Carol
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
I believe at one time or the other we all get to feeling that we are all alone in this world, but that is rarely true. It is nice to have a surprise that shows that others really do care. Good luck in the contest.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2021
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I believe at one time or the other we all get to feeling that we are all alone in this world, but that is rarely true. It is nice to have a surprise that shows that others really do care. Good luck in the contest.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 11-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from Zan Zan
All the best to you in this contest, this was a nice easy read. You added your own little thing to it.
Five stars ~
(I don't know y at first I thought the dog was hill LOl )
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2021
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All the best to you in this contest, this was a nice easy read. You added your own little thing to it.
Five stars ~
(I don't know y at first I thought the dog was hill LOl )
Comment Written 11-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2021
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Thank you!
