Comment from Adri7enne

Exceptional

I'm really getting into your characters. Peter is a bit of a trouble-maker, but he's fun. I'm enjoying the story. They all seem human and for some reason I get attached to them and can't wait to see what happens next, Well done, Bob.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021

As ever, I'm flattered. Wanting to read more is all an author can ask.

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

What an intriguing storyline. I don't think I've read anything on the level of adult prose about Fae. I like this. I like it a lot. I'd like it to the tune of a six, if I had one. Sorry.

Again, my ramble of thoughts as I read this:

and offered employment by Creteus, a [You stopped this in mid-thought, I'm afraid.]

"Yes, thank you." As far as Peter could make out, George was behind the bedside table. "Did you sleep well?" [With no dialog tag here, the reader is left to assume, since it's followed by Peter's observation, at it was his dialogue. And that he continues with, "Did you sleep well?" That would be fine except that the next line of dialogue is Peter's: "Yeah," replied Peter ..." For the reader to get lost as to who the speaker is and have to go back and retrace, yanks the reader out of the story unfolding on the screen of his mind. I really suggest going back and attributing more lines of dialogue to the respective speaker.]

He looked as pleased to be with Peter as Peter was to see him.[At first I thought he was pleased to see Elmwood and that Elmwood was pleased to see him, but from his response, I gathered it was the opposite. It left me with momentary confusion. I easily regrouped, but I leave it to you whether ambiguity should be removed from the sentence.]

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021

i shall take a virtual six then. Thanks for your helpful review and I'm glad you liked it.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

This was an interesting chapter. It seems as if Peter has gotten himself in with the Fae underworld. There is also an apparent class system. That is good, something relatable to real life people can easily understand.

I would caution against mixing action by one character with the dialogue of another in the same paragraph. It adds confusion.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021

Thanks. Glad you found it intersting

Comment from Leann DS

Excellent

This is a good chapter with excellent dialogue and very vivid imagery and description. I can easily visualize the scene and the characters in my mind. The plot is interesting and it is well written. Keep writing. Keep sharing. Hugs and blessings to you.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021

Thanks. Glad you liked it

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

Another splendid chapter of this intriguing tale. Peter is quite a character. I didn't know that about leprechauns. No wonder they have a bit of a chip on the shoulder. HP sauce? No kitchen cupboard should be without it.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021

Thank you. You are obviously a man of rare taste

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Bob, Bob, Bob,

Dear one. Really. I know this is fiction AND fantasy -- but really? Must you try to take it SO far? Attempting to improve on BACON? Come on. Who is going to believe that nosh? No stinking way. You'll have to bring your brown sauce directly round to my own house and put it in my mouth yourself before I'll even consider believing that nonsense. I mean, come on. It's BACON!

Other:
where he had hung them on the floor the night before.
--> hahahaha

Highly enjoyable. Ready for more, am I!

Thanks!

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021

I live not only to entertain you, but to educate you and broaden your horizons.

Thanks for the review. Glad you enjoyed it.