Running Blind
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Running Blind ~ Chapter Five "The Blind Girl's toughest cold case.
28 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Things seem to be getting very dramatic right now, and dangerous. I am enjoying seeing the story develop and the interactions of the characters.
Typos: "Roger that, Boss."No capital for "that".
And "the Hastings' residence" as the family name is Hastings.
Hope that's helpful.
Wendy
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Things seem to be getting very dramatic right now, and dangerous. I am enjoying seeing the story develop and the interactions of the characters.
Typos: "Roger that, Boss."No capital for "that".
And "the Hastings' residence" as the family name is Hastings.
Hope that's helpful.
Wendy
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review and helpful critique. Both are so appreciated. Sending along my very best,
Sal XOs...
Comment from lyenochka
I'm glad Janelle is so smart and took precautions right away! I like how Suzy looks after Sally, too! And Sally is clever to send roses ahead of her time to visit with her. I wonder if the dogs will recognize that same scent when they meet Olivia. Or has too much time changed a person's scent? Great job on this post!
Comment/Question:
New Orleans in June is hotter than... New Orleans in June. (Did you mean to repeat it? Or should the first one be "July"?)
"Happy tears or sad, Mon amie?" (mon ami) He's a man so you want the masculine form of "ami" and "mon" would not be capitalized.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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I'm glad Janelle is so smart and took precautions right away! I like how Suzy looks after Sally, too! And Sally is clever to send roses ahead of her time to visit with her. I wonder if the dogs will recognize that same scent when they meet Olivia. Or has too much time changed a person's scent? Great job on this post!
Comment/Question:
New Orleans in June is hotter than... New Orleans in June. (Did you mean to repeat it? Or should the first one be "July"?)
"Happy tears or sad, Mon amie?" (mon ami) He's a man so you want the masculine form of "ami" and "mon" would not be capitalized.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Thanks for wonderful review, dear Helen. I tried to fix the mon ami and even now as I type, it keeps overriding me. Google help offered the same. Anyway, my high school French lessons, though far removed, recalls the masculine and feminine and you are so kind to remind me. I did mean to repeat hotter than New Orleans twice. Disney World is hotter, especially Hollywood Studios. I thought I'd die there. So much asphalt.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs....
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
I can't wait until they find Camille, a.k.a. Olivia! I guess that will take some time. Meanwhile, there's a real murder to solve, and a dangerous criminal after Detective Sally Law. Your story is the first one (among the ones I'm following) that I honed in on, among the new ones this weekend!
Here are some errors and suggestions:
An hour later, our ravished troop ...
-->
An hour later, our ravenous troop ... [I looked up "ravished" to be sure; different meaning altogether]
A hot and muggy day was forecasted for the southernmost parts of Louisiana,
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A hot and muggy day was forecast for the southernmost parts of Louisiana,
...just as I was about to smack a dive bombing mosquito.
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...just as I was about to smack a dive-bombing mosquito.
...and handed me an ice coffee.
-->
...and handed me an iced latte. [at least I think so]
Our team met again at 'Al's Barbecue and Such' for a hearty breakfast ...
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Our team met again at Al's Barbecue and Such for a hearty breakfast ... [I don't think it needs quotes, as it's a restaurant, not a book or a play etc.]
"Contact 'The Fountain Gallery' on Bourbon Street.
-->
"Contact the Fountain Gallery on Bourbon Street.
It was even hotter in The Big Easy than I had expected,
-->
It was even hotter in the Big Easy than I had expected,
The first two boxes of Camille Jean-Baptiste's belongings were gold. A bedspread, favorite blanket, and dolly.
-->
The first two boxes of Camille Jean-Baptiste's belongings were gold: a bedspread, favorite blanket, and dolly.
"Happy tears or sad, Mon amie?" I asked.
-->
"Happy tears or sad, mon amie?" I asked.
So...she's out of town?"
-->
"So...she's out of town?"
but I was hoping to say hello to The Blind Girl... Detective Sally Law. Is she in?"
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but I was hoping to say hello to the Blind Girl... Detective Sally Law. Is she in?"
"Roger That, boss."
-->
"Roger that, boss."
For protection sake,
-->
For protection's sake,
***
Sally's personal assistant, Suzy, is such a great friend. Everyone can use a friend like her!
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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I can't wait until they find Camille, a.k.a. Olivia! I guess that will take some time. Meanwhile, there's a real murder to solve, and a dangerous criminal after Detective Sally Law. Your story is the first one (among the ones I'm following) that I honed in on, among the new ones this weekend!
Here are some errors and suggestions:
An hour later, our ravished troop ...
-->
An hour later, our ravenous troop ... [I looked up "ravished" to be sure; different meaning altogether]
A hot and muggy day was forecasted for the southernmost parts of Louisiana,
-->
A hot and muggy day was forecast for the southernmost parts of Louisiana,
...just as I was about to smack a dive bombing mosquito.
-->
...just as I was about to smack a dive-bombing mosquito.
...and handed me an ice coffee.
-->
...and handed me an iced latte. [at least I think so]
Our team met again at 'Al's Barbecue and Such' for a hearty breakfast ...
-->
Our team met again at Al's Barbecue and Such for a hearty breakfast ... [I don't think it needs quotes, as it's a restaurant, not a book or a play etc.]
"Contact 'The Fountain Gallery' on Bourbon Street.
-->
"Contact the Fountain Gallery on Bourbon Street.
It was even hotter in The Big Easy than I had expected,
-->
It was even hotter in the Big Easy than I had expected,
The first two boxes of Camille Jean-Baptiste's belongings were gold. A bedspread, favorite blanket, and dolly.
-->
The first two boxes of Camille Jean-Baptiste's belongings were gold: a bedspread, favorite blanket, and dolly.
"Happy tears or sad, Mon amie?" I asked.
-->
"Happy tears or sad, mon amie?" I asked.
So...she's out of town?"
-->
"So...she's out of town?"
but I was hoping to say hello to The Blind Girl... Detective Sally Law. Is she in?"
-->
but I was hoping to say hello to the Blind Girl... Detective Sally Law. Is she in?"
"Roger That, boss."
-->
"Roger that, boss."
For protection sake,
-->
For protection's sake,
***
Sally's personal assistant, Suzy, is such a great friend. Everyone can use a friend like her!
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the wonderful review and generous stars, dear Mary Kay. I appreciate you so very much. "The Big Easy" is correct, however, and is a phrase for New Orleans, referring to the easy-going, laid back attitude of jazz musicians and lifestyle. Suzy is modeled after my sister, Suzanne. She's great, very organized and stylish. I'm delighted you enjoyed this chapter. I will work to repair these issues today. Thanks, again! Sending you my very best and blessings always,
Sal XOs...xo...
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You're very welcome, dear Sally! It's so sweet that you modeled one of your characters after your sister, Suzanne.
Yes, I am familiar with the cultural reference to "The Big Easy" in concept, although not in my actual experience! I did look it up, and found that like many terms with an initial "the," the definite article didn't seem to be capitalized; or was capitalized inconsistently. However, as someone who obviously has a lot of experience with that part of the world, I will take your word for it!
I appreciate you, too, Sally, as a writer who is so creative and offers so much in your stories, articles and poems.
God bless you, my friend!
Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Sally.
The investigative team is certainly trying to gather up every piece of evidence they can find to support the DNA evidence that they're hoping will lead them to the bad guy.
The interest of the criminal mastermind and Sally is suspicious. It makes one wonder what's happening there as he makes it clear that he is after her and the paintings.
PAL Z
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Hello Sally.
The investigative team is certainly trying to gather up every piece of evidence they can find to support the DNA evidence that they're hoping will lead them to the bad guy.
The interest of the criminal mastermind and Sally is suspicious. It makes one wonder what's happening there as he makes it clear that he is after her and the paintings.
PAL Z
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the great review, dear pal. It is most appreciated. Sending along my very best with blessings always,
Sal :))
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You're welcome Sal.
Comment from forestport12
Hi Sally. I know it's been awhile. You deserve all the recognition you get with your book nominations. I have been watching and learning from your tight writing style. This is no exception. You don't waste words. You keep the pace going and always keep my attention. YOU live in the south and understand them well. I lived in Texas for 12 years and my wife is originally from Arkansas. So I always pay attention to a place you describe, etc...
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Hi Sally. I know it's been awhile. You deserve all the recognition you get with your book nominations. I have been watching and learning from your tight writing style. This is no exception. You don't waste words. You keep the pace going and always keep my attention. YOU live in the south and understand them well. I lived in Texas for 12 years and my wife is originally from Arkansas. So I always pay attention to a place you describe, etc...
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Aw, thanks so much, dear Stan. I appreciate the wonderful review and especially the kind observations. It means the world to me! I'm so glad you could join in. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs...
Comment from Cindy Warren
He might try, but I don't think he'll get Sally, or the paintings. She and King will get him. I like how close they are to finding Olivia, and they don't know it. I'm betting King will, tho.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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He might try, but I don't think he'll get Sally, or the paintings. She and King will get him. I like how close they are to finding Olivia, and they don't know it. I'm betting King will, tho.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the excellent review and insightful comments, dear Cimdy. Both are greatly appreciated. Sending along my best,
Sal XOs...
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Ahhhh, Sally:
This criminal mastermind might not be as smart as he believes he is - or perhaps the officers of the Louisiana Township are not quite the southern bumpkins he may have taken them for. Guess he better go steal another car to use for his dirty work. Looking forward to your next chapter.
Jan
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Ahhhh, Sally:
This criminal mastermind might not be as smart as he believes he is - or perhaps the officers of the Louisiana Township are not quite the southern bumpkins he may have taken them for. Guess he better go steal another car to use for his dirty work. Looking forward to your next chapter.
Jan
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Dear Jan, thank you so much for this and the generous six stars. I'm so very honored. I'm so glad to have you as a fan. Sending you my best today with love and blessings always,
Sal XOs...
Comment from royowen
As a bit of an alarm someone pops in to see Sally, the blind girl, he claims to be a fan, he avoids giving, the car he's in has its number plate taken, it belongs to a Lonnie Hastings, and a rat is smelt, so a cop is despatched to check the address, well done Sally, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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As a bit of an alarm someone pops in to see Sally, the blind girl, he claims to be a fan, he avoids giving, the car he's in has its number plate taken, it belongs to a Lonnie Hastings, and a rat is smelt, so a cop is despatched to check the address, well done Sally, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the great review and generous compliments, dear Roy. Blessings always, Sal XOs...
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Most welcome
Comment from Janetsue
Since I grew up in the south, I know how big and intimidating mosquitoes can get. That was before spraying, of course. They do not seem to bother me as much any more...my blood supply probably is not as tasty as it once was decades ago. lol I once had a serious fantasy about visiting every state capitol and visiting the local art museum. It is not going to happen, of course, but it never hurts to dream. I am so glad I still have a six for this. The chapters continue to be wonderful. Smiles and hugs, Janet
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Since I grew up in the south, I know how big and intimidating mosquitoes can get. That was before spraying, of course. They do not seem to bother me as much any more...my blood supply probably is not as tasty as it once was decades ago. lol I once had a serious fantasy about visiting every state capitol and visiting the local art museum. It is not going to happen, of course, but it never hurts to dream. I am so glad I still have a six for this. The chapters continue to be wonderful. Smiles and hugs, Janet
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Dear Janet, thank you so much for the lovely review and generous stars! I'm seeing stars here! This means the world to me. Mostly, Im delighted to have you mear. Sending you my best today and love and blessings always,
Sal XOs....
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Hi, Sally. I hope you are well!
Your story is really taking off: there is a lot of suspense. Why is this man that wants to get Sally? Will both murders be solved?
I like your writing style and your characterization.
Excellent work!
Good luck with all your work.
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2021
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Hi, Sally. I hope you are well!
Your story is really taking off: there is a lot of suspense. Why is this man that wants to get Sally? Will both murders be solved?
I like your writing style and your characterization.
Excellent work!
Good luck with all your work.
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the great review and kind comments, dear Cindy. Love and blessings always,
Sal XOs....
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You?re welcome, Sally. Blessings.
