Reviews from

The Stoneseekers

Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "The Geheimschen Gang (Concluded)"
Fantasy novel exploring the nature of Justice.

9 total reviews 
Comment from sandramitchell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm way behind, Duane, but I really enjoyed this part. It's nice that virriel can heal people. I'm going straight to the next part. Well done, my friend. Sorry I took so long to get here! :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2021
    My pleasure, Sandra,
    I love that you are enjoying my novel.
    I am cranking out the chapters fast, because I hope to finish within the next two weeks. Please take your time. I am not planning to take them down anytime soon. :)
    Best,
    Dave
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So word of the slaughter in the old temple is getting around... and there were two copies made, not one, of Putragle's stone -- although one was destroyed by Sebaycian. Virriel's healing abilities work here to the advantage of the team, the quest, and of course, Hulst.

Some errors and suggestions:

Within ten paces, a man with gray hair levelled a crossbow.
-->
Within ten paces, a man with gray hair leveled a crossbow. ["levelled" is UK usage]

Maybe he drugged the others sentries.
-->
Maybe he drugged the other sentries.

Lasing only the span of a few heartbeats,
-->
Lasting only the span of a few heartbeats,

marked the center of the parchement.
-->
marked the center of the parchment.

"Showing the Gitano's location. I certainly have no further us of it."
-->
"Showing the Gitanos' location. I certainly have no further use of it."

tapping his finger upon the parchement.
-->
tapping his finger upon the parchment.

"The Gitano's dwell at the heart of a network ...
-->
"The Gitanos dwell at the heart of a network ...

Were you working with the Gitano?"
-->
Were you working with the Gitanos?"

sold at an auction hosted by the Theives Guild.
-->
sold at an auction hosted by the Thieves' Guild.

He certainly would never feed some half-baked nonsense to man ...
-->
He certainly would never feed some half-baked nonsense to a man ...

Sigfried scowled at the man, but Hulst took no notice."
-->
Sigfried scowled at the man, but Hulst took no notice.

It aint right! Bunch of greasy foreigners ...
-->
It ain't right! Bunch of greasy foreigners ...

Also, there's a misspelling in the title of the previous chapter, of the gang name "Geheimschen."

***

Do you want me to continue flagging errors, or would you rather I let them be? A few times I've gone back over chapters for better understanding, and found the typos still there. It's okay with me, but I don't want to do it, if it's not helpful to you.

This wasn't an easy chapter to understand, so I read through it a second time, and I think I understood mostly everything. I'm not sure if Hulst realized whether Ralf is the one Dewberry has a bounty on. If he did, he didn't reveal it. I think he didn't quite make the connection, because if he had, he might have warned him, because Virriel saved his life.






 Comment Written 09-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
    Hi Mary Kay,
    It gets tedious for me to make double corrections, so usually I take your corrections and add them to the actual book, instead of Fanstory. I usually tell people that. I thought I told you that before, but I must have forgot.
    Ralf dumped Dewberry's cargo in the Reintrank, and Dewberry wishes to make an example of him. There is a $10,000 bounty on his head. Dewberry makes it known as the Auction and then leaves before things get bad. The Guild has posters of Ralf up on the walls as well.
reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 09-Jun-2021
    Thanks for explaining about that, and yes, it makes sense. I'll continue flagging errors, as I notice them.
    Sure, I understand about Dewberry's bounty on Ralf's life; I just wasn't sure whether Hulst recognized him. I think he just looked familiar, but even if he recognized him, he wouldn't have turned him in; rather, with reform on his mind, he might have warned Ralf.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
    Mary Kay, Yeah, he may have recognized him, I am not sure. He is not interested in the Guild now though. As he said, he just wants to do some honest farming.
Comment from amahra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another fine chapter, my dear. First I like how they held back from allowing Virriel from healing Hulst until he revealed what he knew. That is, the Geheimsches and Gitonas working together making the fake relic. I also like the dramatic details of removing the stalk from Hurst's chest. Great job.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
    Thanks, much appreciated :)
reply by amahra on 08-Jun-2021
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am so glad I did not have to wait long for post. Hmm, now another more dangerous search begins. I don't like the news Hulst told us. It doesn't look good for our friends.

"Not like that. You can't just pull that thing out. Look how deep it goes. You'll tear out his innards trying to extract it!"
"What do you suggest, then? (a space is needed between the 2 dialogues)

I I'm just lucky I had duties here at the lodge. I tell you (No sure why the first 'I' is there)

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    Thank you, Barbara :)
Comment from Cindy Warren
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I was expecting a battle, but I guess it's a good thing it didn't happen, yet. I'm sure it's coming when Wolf and his friends catch up with the gang. I still want to know what Sigfried will do.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    Thanks Cindy
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Captivating--vivid depiction of characters and scene--brilliant dialog--I'm astounded you can keep track of your plot threads--how many chapters to go?


parchement=>parchment

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    Thanks Elizabeth, at least a dozen chapters remaining.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

duane:

And now the plot thickens! I am so pleased that Virriel was able to heal Hurst. He sounds like a good enough fellow and one able to hold his own in a scrap. I'm a bit surprised Wolf didn't decide to try to recruit him for his team. On the other hand, how many people does he need?

Jan

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    Jan, Yes, that is a good idea. Hulst could certainly prove useful, especially in the short term. I suppose Wolf was not going to talk him out of going home to work the family farm, since he secretly wants to do that too. And keeping track of five other Stoneseekers is challenging enough for him.
Comment from nomi338
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Virriel has proven her worth several times over. She has even managed to warm the cold hearts of the two Dwarves who previously hated her. She has managed to heal several of her companions and others who were seriously injured. Her intelligence and resourcefulness has also ben an invaluable asset. She is quite the asset, they are lucky to have her on their side.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    Nomi,
    I could not have said it better. Excellent assessment of Virriel.
    Thank you for yet another six star rating. I feel like you are going to blow through your quota fast, but they are much appreciated. About a dozen chapters remaining, so I am doing my best to manage my energy levels and bring the story to a conclusion.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The gang come across a man guarding the inner sanctum of the hideaway, and actually convince him they are friendly, and the brave man passes out, with the shaft of a bolt being removed from his chest, and then Virriel works her healing magic, he gives them valuable information, speaks of treachery by a man call Curtis, thanks them and moves one, now for the next phase. Well done, good writing, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    Much appreciated, Roy
reply by royowen on 07-Jun-2021
    Pleasure