Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "Football Chapter 19 part 2"
A mother faces life's struggles.

25 total reviews 
Comment from estory
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

We see this dance between Katherine and Gabriel continuing, as she has this little talk with him about this race, and Mr. Edwards seems to have discerned there is something going on between them. It's all realistic and the dialogue continues to be good, but this chapter does seem to be dancing around the main movement a bit. I would move the story along a little more, cut a more meaningful exchange between them and a more important developement in their relationship. estory

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
    I will consider the advice and thank you for it.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Love this one. I have everything crossed for the girls to win the race, even though I'm sure they will. I can just see the boys faces when they have to pick a dance!! Wonderful chapter, and now I can't wait to read what happens. Well done, Barbara. Sorry it's so late, I thought everything was done with our moving but it's not just furniture and curtains to worry about, there are so many other things we don't think of!! :))Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
    I understand how difficult moving is. Having been a military spouse for 23 years, we moved at least every 3 years, sometimes more often. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
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Poor coach nervous about the race and maybe that damn map will help with the race for the girls. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from amahra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

My son must have been a serious Mama's boy because if I wasn't there to congratulated him after the game, I had to hear his mouthy complaints late. And I hope Katherine's concern about the race is not a setup for her girl's defeat. Great chapter.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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the race is on and who will win? Katherine or Gabriel? In the following chapter we will find out...there is always so much competition even in running....good sportsmanship is a plus.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara, this is another fine chapter and it clearly shows how much she cares about the girl team. Now, as I do live in Europe, I don't know a lot about the game but the nervous anticipation comes through loud and clear. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from AJ McCall
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

oohhh. I can't wait to see who wins. Katherine needs to calm down; her girls are gonna win. ( I can just tell.) Gabirel and his boys are going to be stuck doing the Orange Justice and the dab, lol. Can't wait to see what happens! Theanticipation is killing me!

P.S Why would he be teased forvever? It's just his mom...

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    Wait until you see what the boys do do. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
reply by AJ McCall on 07-Jun-2021
    Oh, that sounds like a warning sign LOL. You're welcome!
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

-A good chapter that sets
things up for the challenge.
-The discussion about the
event is done well in the first half.
-I like the ending of that part
when Gabe and Mr. Edwards
talk about Katherine having set
Gabe up. It should be interesting
to see what happens.
-I wonder if Gabe will come
up with something to counter her plans?
-The second half is also good
as Katherine tries to get Gabe's
attention because she doesn't
have the map for the challenge.
-Well done, Barbara.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Pam (respa) on 07-Jun-2021
    You are very welcome.
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
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There's a lot going on here in terms of the interaction between characters. It's interesting and adds spice. I'm enjoying the manoeuvring and jockeying for advantage!

"Girls, let('s) get started. We're just doing stretches."

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    I have corrected that error. Thank you for the catch. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am looking forward to the big event - and seeing how the boys and their coach handle defeat by the girls! You show understanding of teenage boys and their embarrassment re their mothers. Well written.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    I raised four boys and have lived to tell about it. LOL Thank you for the kind review.