Reviews from

The Stoneseekers

Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "The Quest Underway"
Fantasy novel exploring the nature of Justice.

13 total reviews 
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This motley crew once again comes vividly to life! Delicious snark.


Curling up in a ball, he appeared reserved=>RESIGNED to his fate.

Like a clap of thunder [COMMA] several tons of building landed hard, kicking up billowing clouds of stone dust and other debris.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
    thanks!
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This chapter has really fantastic action, mystery and suspense. Who is the mysterious figure who appears only to Wolf, and gives him a vital clue? And what a close call for Ralf, who almost got seriously injured, or worse, because of a mere whim. Then Wolf has to keep his temper in check, much like a parent of young children who get into trouble and then tease one another.

A phrase Wolf often heard parroted in Runcheon's Court was "Safe citizens are happy citizens' -
-->
A phrase Wolf often heard parroted in Runcheon's Court was "Safe citizens are happy citizens" -

The Kings Road had ended many strides ago,
-->
The King's Road had ended many strides ago,

Olivejem was correct in his assertions, even the city's homeless avoided these melancholy derelicts.
-->
Olivejem was correct in his assertions; even the city's homeless avoided these melancholy derelicts.

A fire of curious origin had swept through this district in ages past.
-->
SUGGESTIONS:
A fire of [mysterious/ dubious] origin had swept through this district in ages past.

a warrior was not supposed to ever show fear or lose their composure.
-->
a warrior was not supposed to ever show fear or lose composure.

Curling up in a ball, he appeared reserved to his fate.
-->
Curling up in a ball, he appeared resigned to his fate.

"And I saw you just now talking to yourself as you uncovered the entrance to this theives' lair."
-->
"And I saw you just now talking to yourself as you uncovered the entrance to this thieves' lair."

descended to a landing where a sturdy metal door stood within a recessed brick wall.
-->
descending to a landing where a sturdy metal door stood within a recessed brick wall.

one of the most influential criminal organization in the world.
-->
one of the most influential criminal organizations in the world.

An entrance sems like an ideal place to be prompted for that kind of information."
-->
An entrance seems like an ideal place to be prompted for that kind of information."

He did not mind stressful situations when dealing with himself.
-->
He did not mind stressful situations when dealing with them himself.

***

While Ralf did one of the most foolish things yet, he also managed to redeem himself by proving himself useful.









 Comment Written 06-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    Yes, Ralf did redeem himself by finally proving useful. :)
    Thanks Mary Kay
reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 07-Jun-2021
    You're very welcome, Dave. God bless you, my friend. - Mary Kay
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

duane:

As many say, teamwork makes the dream work - after much thought and proper preparation, that is. In spite of his drawbacks, Ralf will carry his weight on this mission, I believe. I'm still not so sure about Sigfried. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Jan

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    Yes, I agree. You know, it is funny Nomi338 said that same thing in his comment when he read this chapter last week - "teamwork makes the dream work." You guys are both my best fans. :)
Comment from Cindy Warren
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The scary part begins. What will they find in that awful place? I think they'll be lucky if it's just a few thieves.

Typo: 'An entrance sems like an ideal place to be prompted for that kind of information.' seems is missing an 'e'

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
    Thanks Cindy,
    Indeed, it is daunting to start such a quest, by deliberately entering harm's way.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wolf and his band of merry men, (and women) have entered and breached the thieves lair. After Ralf nearly gets himself killed, and almost like a blest man, instead of the wall falling in him, the window falls a frames him. Well done Dave, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2021
    Thanks Roy
reply by royowen on 05-Jun-2021
    My pleasure
Comment from amahra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So glad the group completed their 1st challenge as a team. lol Poor Wolf, some team. Demelza could have blown their cover by screaming when she saw a rat. Then Ralf's fascination with a piano had the building collapsing around them. I liked the sudden appearance of the Old man with the violet eyes. "Virriel stared back at him with her own [violent] eyes." I'm sure you meant to write [violet] instead of [violent.]

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2021
    Yes, thank you amahra!
Comment from Sherry Asbury
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sizzle, sizzle...can you get any better?? Everything is interesting and mesmerizing..colors vivid, words honed. I find myself transported to the story and hate when it ends!

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2021
    You are too kind :)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am literally on the edge of my seat. That's good writing. I can't wait to see what happens in the thieves' lair. I am glad they are finally working together as a team.

He did his best to focus on the present and comforted himself with the knowledge that he had a useful, talented companion helping him lead the Stonequest, and he knew he needed all the help he could get on this daunting, seemingly impossible, mission. (This is one very long sentence. The 'that' can be omitted.)

Wolf nodded, and the smuggler continued. "What started out as a 'little secret' soon grew to become one of the most influential criminal organization in the world. (comma needed after continued, not a period.)

An entrance sems like an ideal place to be prompted for that kind of information." (seems???)

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2021
    Thank you Barbara. Your comments are most useful.
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Teamwork makes the dream work. There is little sin in gaining a win. The team feels good about themselves right now, but the most dangerous thing is to feel good about a minor accomplishment when a major problem is still before you. Breathe guys, but not too deeply. I love this story and the complex ways in which the characters are forced to deal with their emotions.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2021
    Thanks for sharing that, Nomi. That means a lot to me.
Comment from sandramitchell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That was excellent, Duane. So much happened in this part. Wolf is happy again, thanks to all pulling their weight to get the door open. Ralf was lucky, he could easily have been killed. I like Demelza, she's a great character, in fact, all your characters have such diverse personalities it makes the story so much more fascinating. Now they are in the thieves den. What happens next? Can't wait to find out. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2021
    Thanks Sandra, so happy you enjoy the novel.
    xx