Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Genius in Love, Scene 7"In Search of a Soul
23 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
I'm so sorry it's been so long getting back to the script. Life, you know. I am seeing a lot of dramatic energy from Hallows. He is becoming the main character in this story. Your stage direction is so important for we readers as well as the eventual actors, as the envisioning of the action and demeanor of the characters has to be tightly described so all in involved feel the power in this scene.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2021
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I'm so sorry it's been so long getting back to the script. Life, you know. I am seeing a lot of dramatic energy from Hallows. He is becoming the main character in this story. Your stage direction is so important for we readers as well as the eventual actors, as the envisioning of the action and demeanor of the characters has to be tightly described so all in involved feel the power in this scene.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2021
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Your support is so appreciated, Bill. Thank you. This scene was designed more than any other reason for Cornelius's breakdown so he could be Humpty-dumptied back together again, in scene 8, through the efforts of Cililla and indirecly, Jennie.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I enjoy reading this scene a lot. I think you did a great job at portraying Cornelius and Cililla's behavior, which seemed very awkward for outsiders. I love the crazy couple.
Exceptionally done.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2021
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I enjoy reading this scene a lot. I think you did a great job at portraying Cornelius and Cililla's behavior, which seemed very awkward for outsiders. I love the crazy couple.
Exceptionally done.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2021
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Thank you, Lisa. Yes, this scene sets up the full-scale battle between Cililla and Pidely-Poo in the next chapter. I'm so happy you chose to read this one. Both it and Scene 8 were disappointing in their small number of readers. Thanks for instilling some hope. The six is especially rewarding. How in the world do you keep them so long?
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
I'm pleased to have one sixer left. This chapter is a building block. You're leading up to something grand. Hallows knows what's coming, but Nurse Wooden hasn't a clue (and she's supposed to be the qualified agent). Hallows, (though being fired for some strange reason), sees things on a totally different level. (It's a wonder he can't see Cililla or Pidely-Poo! Perhaps, before the play is over, he will.) Jennie also sees what's going on here, and it makes her sad for Cornie.
The best thing you have managed to do in this chapter is shown the turmoil that's always brewing inside Cornelius. There's a very fine line that exists in autistic people, one side of the line is genius while the other side is madness. Unfortunately, the school kids are like little demons to Cornelius. They constantly tease him. No wonder he becomes a turtle, backing into his shell. Protection. Self-preservation. His only outlet is the piano, which he hammers at now. But as he settles down, thanks to Cililla and Pidely-Poo, the ivories will soon respond to his brilliance.
There's the other friction in this play... Cililla and Pidely-Poo wrestle each other in order to help the poor lad. We all thought Pidely was done... toasted. But apparently Cililla hasn't done enough to help Cornie. He's having a terrible fit right now, for example, and Cililla isn't helping much. She isn't giving up, like Nurse Wooden, but she's at a loss on how to help. She needs to do more than massage his shoulders. That only goes so far. Pidely-Poo, on the other hand, has experience in these matters. (Cornelius knows that, and this is why Pidely has been drafted back into service.) A delicate matter, genius is... (said Yoda).
I enjoyed the chapter, Jay. It was necessary to show so many things... the children, nosey and unceasing teasing. I can picture them at the windows. Yet, the teachers don't scatter them. Nurse Wooden should. Hallows is waiting for the real concert to begin. But other teachers must be around, too. Jennie's feelings are strong. Cornie is in the middle of a battlefield. And your Shakespeare is showing with Cililla and Pidely-Poo. I see "A Midsummer Night's Dream" showing again, as it does with your other play. Fantasy.
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You know, I think I see things so clearly now after what I witnessed at my granddaughter's school yesterday. I drove to Island View School to pick Alyssa up... 1:25pm. I always get there a few minutes early. I had the windows down, as it was quite warm and humid. Two teachers had their classes outside (they often do this in late May and June). One class was hollering at this boy sitting at a picnic table. So much noise, but I finally grasped what was going on. They were teasing him for some reason, and he was yelling back at them... and crying, slapping his hat against the seat. Back and forth, and the young lad was nearing tantrum stage. The teachers didn't seem to know what to do. At least four tried to calm him down, and two of them ended up scolding him. He was very rude to them, insolent, accusing. And they couldn't handle it. The situation was becoming worse as the seconds ticked by. I felt I should keep out of it, but got out of the car and walked towards the picnic table, standing perhaps 10 feet away. I thought my presence would cause him to reflect on his behavior. About the same time, finally, a qualified teacher approached him. I couldn't hear what she said, but he settled down. Soon, they walked towards the school. It was over... a tense few minutes! Island View School takes in a lot of troubled kids, but it takes qualified teachers to handle them. And "normal" kids can be so mean. It's a shame, really. And these "normal" kids grow up into "normal" adults someday... Yikes!
Nicely penned, Jay! I could picture the whole thing going down. Eagerly waiting for the next chapter!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Hi Jay,
I'm pleased to have one sixer left. This chapter is a building block. You're leading up to something grand. Hallows knows what's coming, but Nurse Wooden hasn't a clue (and she's supposed to be the qualified agent). Hallows, (though being fired for some strange reason), sees things on a totally different level. (It's a wonder he can't see Cililla or Pidely-Poo! Perhaps, before the play is over, he will.) Jennie also sees what's going on here, and it makes her sad for Cornie.
The best thing you have managed to do in this chapter is shown the turmoil that's always brewing inside Cornelius. There's a very fine line that exists in autistic people, one side of the line is genius while the other side is madness. Unfortunately, the school kids are like little demons to Cornelius. They constantly tease him. No wonder he becomes a turtle, backing into his shell. Protection. Self-preservation. His only outlet is the piano, which he hammers at now. But as he settles down, thanks to Cililla and Pidely-Poo, the ivories will soon respond to his brilliance.
There's the other friction in this play... Cililla and Pidely-Poo wrestle each other in order to help the poor lad. We all thought Pidely was done... toasted. But apparently Cililla hasn't done enough to help Cornie. He's having a terrible fit right now, for example, and Cililla isn't helping much. She isn't giving up, like Nurse Wooden, but she's at a loss on how to help. She needs to do more than massage his shoulders. That only goes so far. Pidely-Poo, on the other hand, has experience in these matters. (Cornelius knows that, and this is why Pidely has been drafted back into service.) A delicate matter, genius is... (said Yoda).
I enjoyed the chapter, Jay. It was necessary to show so many things... the children, nosey and unceasing teasing. I can picture them at the windows. Yet, the teachers don't scatter them. Nurse Wooden should. Hallows is waiting for the real concert to begin. But other teachers must be around, too. Jennie's feelings are strong. Cornie is in the middle of a battlefield. And your Shakespeare is showing with Cililla and Pidely-Poo. I see "A Midsummer Night's Dream" showing again, as it does with your other play. Fantasy.
**********************************************
You know, I think I see things so clearly now after what I witnessed at my granddaughter's school yesterday. I drove to Island View School to pick Alyssa up... 1:25pm. I always get there a few minutes early. I had the windows down, as it was quite warm and humid. Two teachers had their classes outside (they often do this in late May and June). One class was hollering at this boy sitting at a picnic table. So much noise, but I finally grasped what was going on. They were teasing him for some reason, and he was yelling back at them... and crying, slapping his hat against the seat. Back and forth, and the young lad was nearing tantrum stage. The teachers didn't seem to know what to do. At least four tried to calm him down, and two of them ended up scolding him. He was very rude to them, insolent, accusing. And they couldn't handle it. The situation was becoming worse as the seconds ticked by. I felt I should keep out of it, but got out of the car and walked towards the picnic table, standing perhaps 10 feet away. I thought my presence would cause him to reflect on his behavior. About the same time, finally, a qualified teacher approached him. I couldn't hear what she said, but he settled down. Soon, they walked towards the school. It was over... a tense few minutes! Island View School takes in a lot of troubled kids, but it takes qualified teachers to handle them. And "normal" kids can be so mean. It's a shame, really. And these "normal" kids grow up into "normal" adults someday... Yikes!
Nicely penned, Jay! I could picture the whole thing going down. Eagerly waiting for the next chapter!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Seer that you are, Kimbob, you always seem to be a chapter or two ahead. I must, selfishly, beg you to read Scene 8 closer to Sunday so you can give me proper direction for 9 and 10. As it is, chapter 8 will leave you nodding, thinking, told you so.
Unfortunately, judging from reader response (or lack), this chapter is far and away the least popular one. I'm counting on chapter 8 getting them to jump back on the wagon. Time will tell.
In the meantime, Kimbob, as always I am gobsmacked by the quality of your response. Thank you, dear friend! Sixes, while lovely, aren't necessary. Your interest, though, is essential.
Comment from RGstar
Virtual Six
No yellow stars left my friend...so behind.
You have put a lot of work, thought and innovation in this Jay.
You took a path which opened just for you, and others will follow.
I liked this from the start. I like to see a stamp on things.
You wear it well.
Bravo.
Best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
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Virtual Six
No yellow stars left my friend...so behind.
You have put a lot of work, thought and innovation in this Jay.
You took a path which opened just for you, and others will follow.
I liked this from the start. I like to see a stamp on things.
You wear it well.
Bravo.
Best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
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A virtual six is just fine from you, RG. I wasn't at all satisfied with the 7th scene, and the readers (or lack) seem to be with me on that score. But the next one, which I hope to have ready Saturday night, has a lot going for it. Thank you for reading, RG. You are my mainstay!
Comment from Aiona
I am a bit confused, but it was still engaging to read. Everyone has a bit of weirdness to their dialogue, like this is not present-day, right? The word "lad" for example. I think I didn't get a sense of Cililla's love of control until the end. I know his piano playing may be to represent that, but.... maybe something she does can do it too.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
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I am a bit confused, but it was still engaging to read. Everyone has a bit of weirdness to their dialogue, like this is not present-day, right? The word "lad" for example. I think I didn't get a sense of Cililla's love of control until the end. I know his piano playing may be to represent that, but.... maybe something she does can do it too.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
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This scene is a disappointment to me, and it shows in the reviews, or lack of them. (I have a hunch some are starting it, but not finishing). Yes, "Lad". That was a choice I may have to reconsider. I don't want Mr. Hallows to call him Cornelius each times he refers to him because the one time he does mention his name, the boy has a strong reaction. So it was strategic, but not necessarily good. Maybe I could use something like "the young man".
I do think those who work through the confusion this scene will be rewarded by next scene. I have better feelings about it.
Thanks for your candor, Aiona. I mean that. And for the stars.
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Another one might be "boy." BTW, sometimes I start reading, but I have three kids, and they CONSTANTLY interrupt me! There are so many things I've started on FanStory and never got to finish, and then I can't find them again! Annoying. I wish I had a way to tag things quickly. Or if it just SAVED it to the last thing I was reading. I barely have enough time to bookmark things, even.
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Oh, I remember those days, alas, 40 years ago. Embrace them, dear.
Comment from robyn corum
Jay,
I am continuing to follow this because I do enjoy your stories, but I gotta tell you, dude, I am waiting to see where all this is going. If I know you, you have something big around the corner. I'm on pins and needles to see what grand plan you will be unfolding. This was another fine chapter. Thanks!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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Jay,
I am continuing to follow this because I do enjoy your stories, but I gotta tell you, dude, I am waiting to see where all this is going. If I know you, you have something big around the corner. I'm on pins and needles to see what grand plan you will be unfolding. This was another fine chapter. Thanks!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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And thank you, Robyn. Remember, Cililla and Pidely-Poo are outgrowths of Cornelius's mind. But yes, Pidely-Poo might come up with a stinger-zinger, and of course, Cililla will have to counter.
Comment from Senyai
Hi Jay,
Oh no, the reemergence of Pidley-Poo! I thought Cililla Queez said Pidley was gone forever. Hmmm. Poor Cornie, Mr. Hiney is a buffoon! An insecure boor. Not sure if Mrs. Plumb gave the school a large donation to keep Cornie in school there but Mr. Hallows understands Cornie. Mr. Hallows is being let go, for whatever reason, which is a shame because he genuinely likes Cornelius. I finally got that Cililla Queez might possibly stand for " soliloquies" since she can only be heard by Cornie, so it's almost like Cornie is talking to himself when he converses with her. But having read all seven chapters, I am hooked on knowing what happens to this autistic boy musical genius. Before autism was understood at all, your portrayal of Cornie is spot on for the times in the 1950's. It breaks my heart that he calls his dad, Hal-ward.
All the best,
Senyai
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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Hi Jay,
Oh no, the reemergence of Pidley-Poo! I thought Cililla Queez said Pidley was gone forever. Hmmm. Poor Cornie, Mr. Hiney is a buffoon! An insecure boor. Not sure if Mrs. Plumb gave the school a large donation to keep Cornie in school there but Mr. Hallows understands Cornie. Mr. Hallows is being let go, for whatever reason, which is a shame because he genuinely likes Cornelius. I finally got that Cililla Queez might possibly stand for " soliloquies" since she can only be heard by Cornie, so it's almost like Cornie is talking to himself when he converses with her. But having read all seven chapters, I am hooked on knowing what happens to this autistic boy musical genius. Before autism was understood at all, your portrayal of Cornie is spot on for the times in the 1950's. It breaks my heart that he calls his dad, Hal-ward.
All the best,
Senyai
Comment Written 08-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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Your hit on Cililla Queez was on the button, Senyai. You are only the 2nd person to have figured out the name play. I'm afraid I didn't portray Mr. Hallows as I wanted to this scene. I drew too much on his enthusiastic side, I'm afraid. I fear I made him feel less real caring for Cornelius than I should. And because of that it made Nurse Wooden more the hero than I had intended. Oh, but the next scene. That will be a killer!
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Hi Jay,
Oh no, I though Mr. Hallows came off the true empath that you described in the beginning. He obviously yearns for Cornie to persevere and show his genius side more than his tormented and confused overly stimulated side. Perhaps to a fault ... but we are all yearning for him to prevail as best he can.
I have fallen in love with Cornie and can?t wait for the next scene with the grand entrance of Pidley-Poo with Cililla gritting her teeth. (I don?t think I trust her with her short skirt and sweet talk hmmm)
Chililla Queez is just a most brilliant name for this setting!
Always,
Senyai
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Oh, are you going to be surprised!
Comment from Dilettante junior
Virtual SIX (sorry out of 6s)
Dear Jay,
I am not very fond of plays but I wanted to give yours a try. Am so glad I did!
Fantastic job. It feels like you were born to do it. I find each of your characters extremely endearing with their own personal quirks. The description is flawless. The conversation blends right in. I am particularly drawn to Cililla and Pidely-Poo-I applaud imaginary personalities here, that would only come from a child prodigy's mind. Stage direction is extremely challenging, yet you make it look easy.
This piece is marvellous. I will certainly come back for more.
Well done.
Cheers,
DJ
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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Virtual SIX (sorry out of 6s)
Dear Jay,
I am not very fond of plays but I wanted to give yours a try. Am so glad I did!
Fantastic job. It feels like you were born to do it. I find each of your characters extremely endearing with their own personal quirks. The description is flawless. The conversation blends right in. I am particularly drawn to Cililla and Pidely-Poo-I applaud imaginary personalities here, that would only come from a child prodigy's mind. Stage direction is extremely challenging, yet you make it look easy.
This piece is marvellous. I will certainly come back for more.
Well done.
Cheers,
DJ
Comment Written 08-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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Oh, DJ, you've truly made my day. This is a marvelous review to wake up to and begin plodding on the next scene. I promise you it will be revelatory. Don't worry about the sixes. I run out by Sunday Evening. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Comment from amahra
Hey, Jay
I love the characterization of Mr. Hollow and the nurse. I see it as nurse Wooden trying to make sense of Cornelius with her practical medical mind while Hollows tries to explain Cornelius's genius using amusing metaphors. Not sure he got through to her. Great chapter, Jay.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Hey, Jay
I love the characterization of Mr. Hollow and the nurse. I see it as nurse Wooden trying to make sense of Cornelius with her practical medical mind while Hollows tries to explain Cornelius's genius using amusing metaphors. Not sure he got through to her. Great chapter, Jay.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Thank you, Amahra. I'm not too pleased with this scene, Mr. Hallows got out of hand. I'm working on the next scene now, and it should be rewarding.
Comment from tfawcus
This fine characterisation of Nurse Wooden and Mr Hallows says much about the ambiguities in the school system. So much of its success and failure depends on the personalities of the staff. The role of Jennie Jax is also interesting and I imagine that ultimately it may be pivotal..
I also find your use of Cornelius's imaginary friends to bring us inside the turmoil of his head intriguing and effective.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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This fine characterisation of Nurse Wooden and Mr Hallows says much about the ambiguities in the school system. So much of its success and failure depends on the personalities of the staff. The role of Jennie Jax is also interesting and I imagine that ultimately it may be pivotal..
I also find your use of Cornelius's imaginary friends to bring us inside the turmoil of his head intriguing and effective.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Thank you, Tony. NUrse Wooden probably won't figure much into the future play. Mr. Hallows will, and I wasn't at all happy of my portrayal of him this time. I didn't want him to come across so scattered and disconnected. Your six stars means a lot to me, Tony. Thanks again.