Reviews from

Dusty Tome

75 word Flash

15 total reviews 
Comment from Father Flaps
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi zanya,
A nice entry for the 75 word flash fiction. We make our choices in life, for better or worse, don't we? Her husband, Rick, is gone. And she hasn't decluttered her house yet. I imagine it isn't easy letting go of things.
You taught me two words... tome and detritus. I had no idea what they meant. Never ran into them before. But now I know.
The dried out rose petals on the floor made her wonder if Joe Winston was still alive. He loved her once. But she chose Rick. And now she's alone for the rest of her life. I wonder how many women have run into a similar situation, and wondered... "If only".
Your talent shines through.
Hugs,
Kimbob

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2022

Comment from Lana Marie
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Awe! That's a sad and sweet story all at the same time. What a treasure to find the meaningful note and saved rose, but then having a saddened heart knowing he isn't physically there anymore. Hugs

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
    Superb review zanya
Comment from Susan Newell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like this story. I think we have all wondered what would have happened if we had made different choices, and there will always be little mementos tucked away and temporarily forgotten. Would Joe really sign his last name?

Re punctuation:

I'd suggest italics for the note -- though styles vary.

'If only..' she murmured ==> "If only . . . ," she murmured (Ellipsis is three periods with space on both sides and in this case indicates discontinued thought. An ellipsis does not eliminate the need for the comma (or period as determined by what follows) following dialogue inside quotation marks.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
    Thanks for that info - much appreciated & a great reveiw zanya
reply by Susan Newell on 06-Jun-2021
    You are welcome.
Comment from writer723
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed your story of the wife who had to carry on after her husband's passing. The scenario you described offers a ray of hope for Anna's future. Although she has lost Rick, there is a possibility of Joe still being available. You painted a vivid visual image of the scene. Anna flipping through a dusty tome comes upon withered flowers and a meaningful note. This occurrence provides a welcome respite from her time of mourning. Great job!

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
    Great review zanya
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A memory of the past coming back to haunt here and then it is digitally recorded before heading for the bin, a poignant write, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
    Superb review zanya
Comment from karenina
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Dear anonymous. This one managed to tug at my heart...all that emotion packed in seventy-five words! "Withered Petals..." Sounds like a poem I'd like to write. You got my vote!
Karenina

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
    Superb..just loved your response - please do write that poem! zanya
Comment from amahra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm amazed how you guys who enter this contest can tell a great story with only seventy-five words. JoeWinston sounds like "the one that got away." I really enjoyed this writing.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
    Great review zanya
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You certainly met the challenge! Stunning story--hadn't seen that coming. Sugg: signature would more realistically be just Joe--if they were close enough to have a relationship--even if platonic, he wouldn't write his last name.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
    Great review zanya
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think the art of these is being able to suggest a wider story beyond the seventy- five words, and this one does that rather well. A nicely constructed flash fiction for the contest. I hope it does well. Good luck!

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
    Great review zanya
Comment from Jane Graille
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your Dusty Tome shares a beautifully relatable memory. I think everyone has a lost note or memento nestled away on a shelf or in a chest. You've captured this moment quite well.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
    Great review zanya