Grandma's Sweet Tea
A memory of my grandma7 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
There is so much to like about this poem. You have captured an image, relayed it in vivid words and given us a touch of emotion and nostalgia. That's excellent. If you want suggestions, I suggest using punctuation and not using capitals at the beginning of each line, unless it is the start of a sentence or a proper noun. The reason is simple... you want your readers to know what YOU meant, and these things help tremendously. At first, I read, "I watched as Grandma's hands wrinkled." Of course, that's not what you were watching. You watched Grandma's wrinkled, brown-spotted hands fill the pitcher, spilling some of the liquid on the counter as she did. Her hands did not spill OR wrinkle while you watched. *smile* Punctuation and word placement makes such a difference. I love your theme here and hope you will work on it more. It could easily be a favorite and win you a prize. Good luck!
reply by the author on 30-May-2021
  |
There is so much to like about this poem. You have captured an image, relayed it in vivid words and given us a touch of emotion and nostalgia. That's excellent. If you want suggestions, I suggest using punctuation and not using capitals at the beginning of each line, unless it is the start of a sentence or a proper noun. The reason is simple... you want your readers to know what YOU meant, and these things help tremendously. At first, I read, "I watched as Grandma's hands wrinkled." Of course, that's not what you were watching. You watched Grandma's wrinkled, brown-spotted hands fill the pitcher, spilling some of the liquid on the counter as she did. Her hands did not spill OR wrinkle while you watched. *smile* Punctuation and word placement makes such a difference. I love your theme here and hope you will work on it more. It could easily be a favorite and win you a prize. Good luck!
Comment Written 29-May-2021
reply by the author on 30-May-2021
-
Thank you so much for the review and your valuable feedback!
Comment from Kerry L Batchelder
This beautifully written poem brings back so many memories of my own grandmothers, who have long passed. Beautiful hardworking women, who loved their families. Such warmth in your writing. Excellent work!
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
|
This beautifully written poem brings back so many memories of my own grandmothers, who have long passed. Beautiful hardworking women, who loved their families. Such warmth in your writing. Excellent work!
Comment Written 27-May-2021
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
-
Thank you so much!
Comment from Eternal Muse
You created a very powerful image of your grandmother. Your imagery is so good that I almost feel like she is here, in the room. Great attention to detail:
I watched as Grandma's hands
Wrinkled; dappled with age spots
Filled the pitcher with water
Her shaky hands spilled on the counter
"She came to American on the waves from Germany"
Maybe it would be better to say "on a boat from Germany".
Great work. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
|
You created a very powerful image of your grandmother. Your imagery is so good that I almost feel like she is here, in the room. Great attention to detail:
I watched as Grandma's hands
Wrinkled; dappled with age spots
Filled the pitcher with water
Her shaky hands spilled on the counter
"She came to American on the waves from Germany"
Maybe it would be better to say "on a boat from Germany".
Great work. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
-
Thank you for the suggestion!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This biographical poem speaks simply remembering how your grandma's tea preparation is mentionable as how simple and lovely life she led for your family; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
|
This biographical poem speaks simply remembering how your grandma's tea preparation is mentionable as how simple and lovely life she led for your family; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
-
Thank you so much!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
A beautiful poem that reminds me of my own childhood and my own grandmother. Familiar aroma and customs.Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
|
A beautiful poem that reminds me of my own childhood and my own grandmother. Familiar aroma and customs.Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
-
Thank you so much, I'm glad it brought back memories for yourself also!
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brilliant--I had no clue there were requisite words until I read the notes--nothing seems forced--stunning and powerful imagery. Welcome back to writing--you're off and running!
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
|
Brilliant--I had no clue there were requisite words until I read the notes--nothing seems forced--stunning and powerful imagery. Welcome back to writing--you're off and running!
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
-
Thank you so much! That is very sweet!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A little bit of personal history here and I enjoyed your remembrances of your Grandma and how she was once young and hopeful about her future, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
|
A little bit of personal history here and I enjoyed your remembrances of your Grandma and how she was once young and hopeful about her future, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
-
Thank you so much!
