Broken Promises
25 word poem.17 total reviews
Comment from Edward Escobar
I certainly enjoyed the entire verse and it was quite visual as it was
like a slow walk of love and agony, as like a glimpse into one's diary. Well written and I thank you for sharing. Ed
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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I certainly enjoyed the entire verse and it was quite visual as it was
like a slow walk of love and agony, as like a glimpse into one's diary. Well written and I thank you for sharing. Ed
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Thanks, Ed, for your review and kind words.
Comment from Laurie Holding
Oh, wow! No, this must be the winner, right? This is worth all six of my stars, Jill. Nicely crafted! I love the overall disjointed, shattered theme, and your artwork is perfect.
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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Oh, wow! No, this must be the winner, right? This is worth all six of my stars, Jill. Nicely crafted! I love the overall disjointed, shattered theme, and your artwork is perfect.
Comment Written 27-May-2021
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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Yes, this is the winner. I had a lot of fun with this. It's not biographical other than I was in a supposedly empty apartment recently that had lots of trash in it and obviously I've experienced heartache over the years. I just wanted to write a poem about the dying daisies and tequila bottle.
Comment from Janaethepoet
There seems to be a lot of hurt in this poem. I am sorry about the pain you have endured, but at least it drives you to create beautiful art like so :)
xxoxoxoxoxox Janae
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reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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There seems to be a lot of hurt in this poem. I am sorry about the pain you have endured, but at least it drives you to create beautiful art like so :)
xxoxoxoxoxox Janae
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Thank you for your review! I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from Wendy G
Well done. You have created a whole story of a broken relationship and its sad, devastating consequences, leaving the reader wondering where the person is, and if s/he is alright. Very well written. Good wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Well done. You have created a whole story of a broken relationship and its sad, devastating consequences, leaving the reader wondering where the person is, and if s/he is alright. Very well written. Good wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 25-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you for your review.. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the contest.
Comment from Mia Twysted
That is such a sad story. I like how you brought out little details that later led to a bigger picture when all the pieces came together. There are far too many who have felt this pain.
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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That is such a sad story. I like how you brought out little details that later led to a bigger picture when all the pieces came together. There are far too many who have felt this pain.
Comment Written 25-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate you taking the time to read my poem. You're right that many people have felt this pain.
Comment from equestrik
This is a sad write for sure. It speeks a a tumultuous life that was lived yet no evidence is left of the one who lived. This is a good write for the contest.
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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This is a sad write for sure. It speeks a a tumultuous life that was lived yet no evidence is left of the one who lived. This is a good write for the contest.
Comment Written 25-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate you taking the time to read my poem and comment.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Some persons make promises for the pleasure of breaking them. The broken promises are like knives that pierce your heart. But one has to forget them, come out of the trauma and move forward. Life is beautiful. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Some persons make promises for the pleasure of breaking them. The broken promises are like knives that pierce your heart. But one has to forget them, come out of the trauma and move forward. Life is beautiful. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 25-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you for your kind words. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the contest. You're right, life is beautiful.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good artwork and
presentation, Jill.
-You have used your
25 words well with
a good topic and description.
-I like how you formatted it, too.
-You give many good examples
of what is left after an
unexpected breakup.
-It all leads up to
that broken heart and
a lot of pain.
-A good entry; good luck,
and welcome to FanStory!
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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-Good artwork and
presentation, Jill.
-You have used your
25 words well with
a good topic and description.
-I like how you formatted it, too.
-You give many good examples
of what is left after an
unexpected breakup.
-It all leads up to
that broken heart and
a lot of pain.
-A good entry; good luck,
and welcome to FanStory!
Comment Written 25-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you for your review. I really appreciate it. I'm enjoying being on FanStory.
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You are welcome, and I am glad you are.
Comment from Kerry L Batchelder
It sounds as if disaster struck in this abandoned apartment. Such a sad poem; true in many cases I am sure. You have created a feeling of curiosity as one wonders what could have happened to create such chaos. I also feel for the poor soul who was so badly hurt. Good work! Excellent illustration.
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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It sounds as if disaster struck in this abandoned apartment. Such a sad poem; true in many cases I am sure. You have created a feeling of curiosity as one wonders what could have happened to create such chaos. I also feel for the poor soul who was so badly hurt. Good work! Excellent illustration.
Comment Written 25-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you for your review!
Comment from Light Magic
Creates a feeling of mixed emotions; hopelessness, frustration, apathy, loss, deep sadness. I think it's a good poem. It leaves me wondering. The picture you chose works well with it, also. Best of luck in the contest. :)
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Creates a feeling of mixed emotions; hopelessness, frustration, apathy, loss, deep sadness. I think it's a good poem. It leaves me wondering. The picture you chose works well with it, also. Best of luck in the contest. :)
Comment Written 25-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond to my poem.
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You're welcome. :)
