Wilderness Redemption Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "The First Cut is the Deepest"Shenanigans on the frontier
26 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
I think the nude girls in the creek must have heard some of this screaming. Mighty Beaver is too much for these guys. I'm enjoying the story Roseanna tells . It has plenty of action and dialogue and parts of it make me laugh.
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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I think the nude girls in the creek must have heard some of this screaming. Mighty Beaver is too much for these guys. I'm enjoying the story Roseanna tells . It has plenty of action and dialogue and parts of it make me laugh.
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my book. I'm glad you're enjoying it, that's the goal.
Comment from aryr
A great continuation chapter Earl, I really enjoyed the different parts. The starting showed Doo, Clancy and Richard as they discovered the Shawnee. Then you flipped to Roseanna and Janie deciding to take a bath in the river. Low and behold Lowry and Meeker chose to spy on the women and Mighty Beaver comes upon them. I am betting the girls were not aware until Lowry's scream. Now of course, you had Roseanna, a much older woman narrate the beginning of the chapter. Great job, blessings.
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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A great continuation chapter Earl, I really enjoyed the different parts. The starting showed Doo, Clancy and Richard as they discovered the Shawnee. Then you flipped to Roseanna and Janie deciding to take a bath in the river. Low and behold Lowry and Meeker chose to spy on the women and Mighty Beaver comes upon them. I am betting the girls were not aware until Lowry's scream. Now of course, you had Roseanna, a much older woman narrate the beginning of the chapter. Great job, blessings.
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my book. I'm glad you're enjoying it, that's the goal.
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You are most welcome Earl, blessings.
Comment from robyn corum
Earl,
I like it! At least there's ONE gentleman on that trip and it seems sad that they sad it happens to be the savage. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Some men deserve what they get. Whether it be to lose an arm (and possibly their life?) or to take an unexpected, quick nap. Nice job!
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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Earl,
I like it! At least there's ONE gentleman on that trip and it seems sad that they sad it happens to be the savage. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Some men deserve what they get. Whether it be to lose an arm (and possibly their life?) or to take an unexpected, quick nap. Nice job!
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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Thank you very much Robyn. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my book. I'm glad you're enjoying it, that's the goal.
Comment from Bonnie Seach
An interesting and fast moving story.
To make it outstanding it needs a bit of work.
Consistency is important in use dialogue and punctuation.
*been scoutin' Doo thought. This bit has "Doo thought" in non- italics.
Whereas in another place after dialogue, italics were used for the same wording.
A post of this size takes a lot of work to edit. There are editing applications available on the internet. Google search "editing application". Best wishes
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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An interesting and fast moving story.
To make it outstanding it needs a bit of work.
Consistency is important in use dialogue and punctuation.
*been scoutin' Doo thought. This bit has "Doo thought" in non- italics.
Whereas in another place after dialogue, italics were used for the same wording.
A post of this size takes a lot of work to edit. There are editing applications available on the internet. Google search "editing application". Best wishes
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my book.
Comment from Pj Dennison
Reading your story was like watching a movie before my eyes as the imagery it created was so good. I could actually hear the voices of the characters. I grew up in the Ohio River area in Kentucky and I can remember still in that day the colloquial terms and slang or just plain hillbilly talk was prevalent. To speak otherwise was considered highfalutin (Hi-fa-loo-tin) So I was very familiar with the dialect your characters used. Your story is excellent and very entertaining. I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 17-May-2021
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Reading your story was like watching a movie before my eyes as the imagery it created was so good. I could actually hear the voices of the characters. I grew up in the Ohio River area in Kentucky and I can remember still in that day the colloquial terms and slang or just plain hillbilly talk was prevalent. To speak otherwise was considered highfalutin (Hi-fa-loo-tin) So I was very familiar with the dialect your characters used. Your story is excellent and very entertaining. I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 17-May-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my chapter. You might want to check out the other chapters if you'd like to continue following it. I appreciate you taking a look at it.
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You are welcome!
Comment from F. William Lester
It's been awhile since I've had the opportunity to read your story. I find stories about the frontier fascinating, and this edition was fun to read. A couple of comments: "'He hasn't quit complainin' the whole time we've been scoutin' Doo thought." Although it doesn't show it here, in the story it's written in Italics. From my experiences, since it is a thought it doesn't need the single quotes. If it's written in Italics, it's generally understood to be a thought and you can probably drop the dialog tag. Otherwise, drop the Italics and place a comma after "scoutin'".
"Beaver avoided the knife, the brought his tomahawk down..." I think "the" should be "then". You used Mighty Beaver repeatedly during the fight to where it became distracting. Refer to him with a pronoun or some other reference like "the big indian" or "hulking savage" to break the repetition and make the use of his name less distracting.
Nice work. Thanks for sharing it. Good writing and stay well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-May-2021
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It's been awhile since I've had the opportunity to read your story. I find stories about the frontier fascinating, and this edition was fun to read. A couple of comments: "'He hasn't quit complainin' the whole time we've been scoutin' Doo thought." Although it doesn't show it here, in the story it's written in Italics. From my experiences, since it is a thought it doesn't need the single quotes. If it's written in Italics, it's generally understood to be a thought and you can probably drop the dialog tag. Otherwise, drop the Italics and place a comma after "scoutin'".
"Beaver avoided the knife, the brought his tomahawk down..." I think "the" should be "then". You used Mighty Beaver repeatedly during the fight to where it became distracting. Refer to him with a pronoun or some other reference like "the big indian" or "hulking savage" to break the repetition and make the use of his name less distracting.
Nice work. Thanks for sharing it. Good writing and stay well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 17-May-2021
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I appreciate the tips I made some changes. Thank you for taking the time to read and review my chapter.
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You're welcome. Glad to help.
