Comment from Earthspoet

Exceptional

Hi, T B Botts.
I really enjoyed this short story I was right there with them inside the pig pen
I didn't want them to knock it down can you imagine the memories and the fun on a rainy day that they must of had there. wow! Great imagination thank you
Good luck within this competition
Earthspoet
20/05/17

 Comment Written 19-May-2021

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reply by the author on 20-May-2021

Thanks so much for this six star rating, that's very generous of you.
Have a blessed day.

Tom

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

I smiled at the boys wanting to remove the evidence of the cigarettes and the magazine. I don't think you could have gotten a girl to enter that structure - looks like it could fall any minute. I liked the way you told the story with the note from Mom and the hurry to clean up before Dad showed up.
One sentence that confused me was the one below and I think this portion of the sentence could be a new sentence as it was quite long:
"it provided the raw materials the boys needed for the pig pen, so named because of the swing set frame that provided the foundation for the hang out."
Was there a swing set frame named "Pig Pen?"

 Comment Written 14-May-2021

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reply by the author on 14-May-2021

Hi, Sorry for the confusion. Back where I grew up in Ohio, the pig farms frequently had small A-frames for the the pigs to live in. There would be a number of them scattered around the farm. The swing set frame was of course A-frame shaped and thus the name. Thanks for the review.

reply by lyenochka on 14-May-2021

Oh! That helps to know. I think a footnote for us city-dwellers would be good. Thanks for the explanation!

Comment from Audra J Perez

Excellent

great work, no complaints this is honestly such a moving poem and id love to read more everyone on here is so talented, im truly moved by this, im not sure what more to add to be honest, keep it up!

 Comment Written 13-May-2021

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reply by the author on 13-May-2021

Thanks so much for the kind review

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

Boys will be boys and their activity is typical and innocent in the scheme of things, I enjoyed your short story and you entertained me, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 13-May-2021

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reply by the author on 13-May-2021

Hello Dolly,
I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for the kind review.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

A well written and creative story - original in the way the typical actions of young boys has been built into a race against time, with the fear of being caught out. Good wishes for the contest.

 Comment Written 12-May-2021

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reply by the author on 13-May-2021

Thanks so much Wendy. Some things seem like such a good idea until it becomes apparent that they weren't. Smoking cigarettes was one such thing.

reply by Wendy G on 13-May-2021

I guess that's youth!

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

Fine work in a flash--you capture the mood of men on a mission--very amusing about the frantic scrambling to get rid of the evidence. Delightful humor re the Playboy vs real girls.

hang out=>hangout (one word when used as noun)

 Comment Written 12-May-2021

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reply by the author on 13-May-2021

Thanks Elizabeth. I appreciate your input. Obviously I have a lot to learn. The English language can be confusing at times. I've spoken it all my life, and still don't know the ins and outs.

reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 13-May-2021

The English language is a beast!

Comment from mobileliz

Excellent

Interesting story of a couple of boys being boys. I understand them keeping and hiding the Playboy, but it seems strange not to have ditched the cigarette butts long before they got caught.

 Comment Written 12-May-2021

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reply by the author on 13-May-2021

Thanks for the kind review. Well, boys seem to have a habit of only thinking short term. It's created many a problem over the eons of time.

reply by mobileliz on 13-May-2021

many problems for boys thinking short term, sounds a bit like our government, pick a party, and You're welcome

Comment from Patty Palmer

Excellent

This sounds about right for a couple of teenage boys and I love the name Pig Pen for their hang out. Very descriptive and I could see the whole thing play out. Great job!
Patty

 Comment Written 12-May-2021

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reply by the author on 13-May-2021

Thanks Patty. It's hard to paint a whole picture that makes sense in so few words, but perhaps it's a blessing in disguise, otherwise I might have written a novel the size of War and Peace.

reply by Patty Palmer on 13-May-2021

LOL you're welcome

Comment from equestrik

Excellent

This is a fun write for the contest. I bet there are a lot of kids who would love to have such a hideaway! Sounds like they got rid of the evidence in time.

 Comment Written 12-May-2021

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reply by the author on 13-May-2021

Thanks so much for the kind review. Part of the story was true. I had a neighbor who, much to my juvenile delight tossed out his Playboy magazines on the ground outside of his Dad's garage, which he used as an art studio. I guess as a boy, you're never to young to start lusting.

reply by equestrik on 13-May-2021

Thats funny! Have a wonderful day!

Comment from Judy Lawless

Excellent

You've done a little different take on the story developed from the prompt. I like that. Your imagery is good, and the tension the boys held while trying to destroy the evidence of what was going on in that "pig pen" created from the old farm house. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 12-May-2021

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reply by the author on 12-May-2021

Thank you Judy. I looked at the other stories and noticed that there was a different theme from most. Have a great day.

reply by Judy Lawless on 12-May-2021

Yes there is a good variety of imagination used in this contest.