Bullfinch and the nightingale
Professing love5 total reviews
Comment from royowen
An excellent piece, speaking that ambiguous tongue, or rather pen of the, the lovely language this free verse together to bind it in a consistency with itself, the words have so wonder to them, well done, blessings Roy
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An excellent piece, speaking that ambiguous tongue, or rather pen of the, the lovely language this free verse together to bind it in a consistency with itself, the words have so wonder to them, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 10-May-2021
Comment from JC Eno
I need compelling, I just don't feel it. Dig deeper. You've got the bones so use it. Poems are tough, they are a dime a dozen. Use this opportunity and be great. Dig
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I need compelling, I just don't feel it. Dig deeper. You've got the bones so use it. Poems are tough, they are a dime a dozen. Use this opportunity and be great. Dig
Comment Written 09-May-2021
Comment from oliver818
This is a very nice poem, with a nice style and clear rhythm. I enjoyed reading it. I particularly enjoyed the ending with the bird imagery. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
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This is a very nice poem, with a nice style and clear rhythm. I enjoyed reading it. I particularly enjoyed the ending with the bird imagery. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
Comment Written 09-May-2021
Comment from Wendy G
That is a lovely poem of love, and it is very lyrical with beautifully chosen images and metaphors. Your work is thoughtful, reflective, and shows the strength of love in all its aspects. Well done.
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That is a lovely poem of love, and it is very lyrical with beautifully chosen images and metaphors. Your work is thoughtful, reflective, and shows the strength of love in all its aspects. Well done.
Comment Written 09-May-2021
Comment from DentedSyke
I like what you are doing here. I really do. However, the language is just a little too flowery and perhaps a little over the top. For example:
In troublesome times during periods of peril,
you are behind my back unapproachable to shadows
This sounds like you are a protector of the person you love, but the force of this is obscured by the language.
I am also confused by this stanza:
Prophesy for me I am not dreaming,
Queen of the Nile, Bathsheba.
Prophesy for me all rubies will be red.
Prophesy for me witches
will not visit the sacred ash grove.
It feels like you wish that she would return your love, but I just can't get through the forest of words to get at the meaning. Still, it is a fine work and you have shown real talent. Keep writing!
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I like what you are doing here. I really do. However, the language is just a little too flowery and perhaps a little over the top. For example:
In troublesome times during periods of peril,
you are behind my back unapproachable to shadows
This sounds like you are a protector of the person you love, but the force of this is obscured by the language.
I am also confused by this stanza:
Prophesy for me I am not dreaming,
Queen of the Nile, Bathsheba.
Prophesy for me all rubies will be red.
Prophesy for me witches
will not visit the sacred ash grove.
It feels like you wish that she would return your love, but I just can't get through the forest of words to get at the meaning. Still, it is a fine work and you have shown real talent. Keep writing!
Comment Written 09-May-2021