Service Station - Closed
A commentary on the present state of religion.38 total reviews
Comment from Terry Broxson
It is better than pretty good. I love the flow and the rhyme and message. The imagery is excellent. The only advice I would give you is that I never thought of God as a soul. So to me the last line has just one soul. Just my opinion, you are the author your call, good job.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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It is better than pretty good. I love the flow and the rhyme and message. The imagery is excellent. The only advice I would give you is that I never thought of God as a soul. So to me the last line has just one soul. Just my opinion, you are the author your call, good job.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Terry. Good point about God as a soul.
Comment from GentleWind
Your theme also brought back memories of my own. My favorite stanza was the last stanza. In a time that seems to reject God at every corner, I felt your pain.
I thought it flowed well, and the rhyming was well done. The images you brought forth were very strong and emotional, at least to me. Well done, Paul!
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Your theme also brought back memories of my own. My favorite stanza was the last stanza. In a time that seems to reject God at every corner, I felt your pain.
I thought it flowed well, and the rhyming was well done. The images you brought forth were very strong and emotional, at least to me. Well done, Paul!
Comment Written 05-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks for the review. I hope the memories were good ones.
Comment from Boogienights
I think this poem is beautifully written and expresses a heartfelt sentiment. It's been a rough time for all of us and churches have suffered as well. That you found this wonderful old church is a blessing for us, because you were inspired to write this. Thanks for sharing. :)
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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I think this poem is beautifully written and expresses a heartfelt sentiment. It's been a rough time for all of us and churches have suffered as well. That you found this wonderful old church is a blessing for us, because you were inspired to write this. Thanks for sharing. :)
Comment Written 05-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks for the review. The abandoned churches, sadly, are becoming more common.
Comment from royowen
You've hit a nail on the head here, the difference between time and eternity. When we are young it seems that everything seemingly last forever, but when we go back to scenes of our youth, the only things remaining are simply memories. Great piece of writing Paul, you took me to places in my life, old, and merely memories. Nice rhythm in tetrameter Stanzas and aabb rhyming, well done good job, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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You've hit a nail on the head here, the difference between time and eternity. When we are young it seems that everything seemingly last forever, but when we go back to scenes of our youth, the only things remaining are simply memories. Great piece of writing Paul, you took me to places in my life, old, and merely memories. Nice rhythm in tetrameter Stanzas and aabb rhyming, well done good job, blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks for you kind words, Roy. I hope the places that I took you were filled with joy.
Comment from lauralumummu
Hi Paul, your is well written and flows smoothly and the rhyme is perfect. More importantly the message is inspiring and very true. Once my Mom was seeking God and she went to a church and found the doors locked. It was many years before she truly found the Lord after that experience. Thanks for this! Maybe you could make the font a little bigger in the advanced editor? God bles, Laura.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Hi Paul, your is well written and flows smoothly and the rhyme is perfect. More importantly the message is inspiring and very true. Once my Mom was seeking God and she went to a church and found the doors locked. It was many years before she truly found the Lord after that experience. Thanks for this! Maybe you could make the font a little bigger in the advanced editor? God bles, Laura.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Laura. I'll see what I can do about the font. The old eyes aren't what they used to be.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Service Station - Closed
by Paul McFarland
The present state of religion and politics is a mess. I like the metaphor of the abandoned old and unattended church. I also like the twist at the end. We all can worship alone with God. It's not the building it's about the people who fill it.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Service Station - Closed
by Paul McFarland
The present state of religion and politics is a mess. I like the metaphor of the abandoned old and unattended church. I also like the twist at the end. We all can worship alone with God. It's not the building it's about the people who fill it.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Gypsy. You are so right about the people who fill the churches. It is quite difficult to find a full church today.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I think it's more than 'pretty good' it's fabulous!!! The rhythm floats so smoothly through the lines, and rhyme is spot on. But it's the words that really steal the awards, this is such a lovely poem. I loved the way you wrote about this lonely deserted little church where it was just you and God inside. That was magic! Well done! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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I think it's more than 'pretty good' it's fabulous!!! The rhythm floats so smoothly through the lines, and rhyme is spot on. But it's the words that really steal the awards, this is such a lovely poem. I loved the way you wrote about this lonely deserted little church where it was just you and God inside. That was magic! Well done! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 05-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Sandra. It felt like magic when I wrote it.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
And as I turned to take my leave,
I wiped a tear upon my sleeve.
It seemed a shame that there should be
But two souls here - just God and me.
First, SO sorry I am out of sixes. Metre and composition perfect. Topic beautiful and moving. You have a clear winner here in my opinion. I loved it and think this writing is truly inspiring and amazing1 Love Meia x
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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And as I turned to take my leave,
I wiped a tear upon my sleeve.
It seemed a shame that there should be
But two souls here - just God and me.
First, SO sorry I am out of sixes. Metre and composition perfect. Topic beautiful and moving. You have a clear winner here in my opinion. I loved it and think this writing is truly inspiring and amazing1 Love Meia x
Comment Written 05-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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You are too kind, Meia, but I love it.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A cute and fine write about this little church that brought some sanctuary. These modern churches provide the backbone of America to service the congregation and give them hope, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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A cute and fine write about this little church that brought some sanctuary. These modern churches provide the backbone of America to service the congregation and give them hope, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 05-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Dolly. The little churches are my favorites. The pastors there are usually youngsters just starting out or old timers who are just finishing up.
Comment from nomi338
Two souls were all that was needed, as God and you alone was enough. You worshipped, and God no doubt received your worship and you were blessed. Somewhere in some spacious, shiny new and modern building, voices are raised in boisterous praise. Copious amounts of money in the offerings box. God may not even be in that building. For real and true praise is rarely dressed in finery or found in fancy automobiles. Iy usually comes from someone who walked as Jesus walked, dress in simple but clean clothing as did Jesus, and offered praise that came straight from the heart as did God's only begotten son Jesus the Christ. Amen.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Two souls were all that was needed, as God and you alone was enough. You worshipped, and God no doubt received your worship and you were blessed. Somewhere in some spacious, shiny new and modern building, voices are raised in boisterous praise. Copious amounts of money in the offerings box. God may not even be in that building. For real and true praise is rarely dressed in finery or found in fancy automobiles. Iy usually comes from someone who walked as Jesus walked, dress in simple but clean clothing as did Jesus, and offered praise that came straight from the heart as did God's only begotten son Jesus the Christ. Amen.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks for the review. Your comments are right on.
