Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Genius in Love (Scene 5)"In Search of a Soul
34 total reviews
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
There is much going on in Cornelius's mind. He is present in the playground but not in his mind. When the taunting ends he is exposed once again to Cillia, his new fantasy. Meanwhile, he has a fan that cares for him that he is unaware of until she kisses his cheek. Strange happenings are hard to deal with. He is totally muddled.
Ralf
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
  |
There is much going on in Cornelius's mind. He is present in the playground but not in his mind. When the taunting ends he is exposed once again to Cillia, his new fantasy. Meanwhile, he has a fan that cares for him that he is unaware of until she kisses his cheek. Strange happenings are hard to deal with. He is totally muddled.
Ralf
Comment Written 06-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
-
I'm happy you enjoyed that scene, Ralf. As we get deeper into the play Cililla will be more of a mirror of Cornelius's mind. Thank you for reading.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I really enjoy reading this scene of your fantastic and fun screen play. I like how you concentrate in Cornelius' mind and his interaction with his imaginary lover Cililla. I have to say that I have had the same experience before during my youth but the boyfriend was real.
Exceptionally done.
reply by the author on 21-May-2021
 |
I really enjoy reading this scene of your fantastic and fun screen play. I like how you concentrate in Cornelius' mind and his interaction with his imaginary lover Cililla. I have to say that I have had the same experience before during my youth but the boyfriend was real.
Exceptionally done.
Comment Written 21-May-2021
reply by the author on 21-May-2021
-
Awwww, thank you, Lisa. A bombshell of a sixth scene coming up tomorrow night at 9:00 PM (LA Time). Hope to see you there. In the meantime, thanks SO MUCH for the six stars!.
Comment from kmoss
I enjoyed scene five. I don't know how I missed this one! I wonder if he'll ever get over piddley poo. And I thought Genius In Love was going to be about his love for music, but Jennie's on the scene now. Interesting
reply by the author on 19-May-2021
|
I enjoyed scene five. I don't know how I missed this one! I wonder if he'll ever get over piddley poo. And I thought Genius In Love was going to be about his love for music, but Jennie's on the scene now. Interesting
Comment Written 19-May-2021
reply by the author on 19-May-2021
-
buncha kinza love, I guess. But maybe they all meet in the middle for the orgy. I'm glad you enjoyed it. As Cililla would say, Thanks, sweetie. And then she would add: your profile image looks like a chocolate-covered donut, or licorice-covered donut, with a moon for a hole. God, I'm sleepy!
-
Lol! Maybe that?s how people achieve a glow by taking a bite of the moon!!
-
Hahaha! Whoa!
Comment from Bill Schott
I loved this, as usual, Jay. You go above and beyond with the stage directions, which are invisible to the audience, of course, but required for the actor's to fully emote what the scene requires.
I see a great upheaval coming now that Cornelius's fantasy has seemingly been eliminated.
I understand that, typically, when a person's reactions to life cannot be expressed, he becomes self-destructive. Perhaps the opposite is in store for the world as the boy's inner world becomes his and everyone else's reality.
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
|
I loved this, as usual, Jay. You go above and beyond with the stage directions, which are invisible to the audience, of course, but required for the actor's to fully emote what the scene requires.
I see a great upheaval coming now that Cornelius's fantasy has seemingly been eliminated.
I understand that, typically, when a person's reactions to life cannot be expressed, he becomes self-destructive. Perhaps the opposite is in store for the world as the boy's inner world becomes his and everyone else's reality.
Comment Written 15-May-2021
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
-
Oh, I hope the opposite is not in store for this play. Else it will be rather boring. LOL, as usual, Bill, your encouragement keeps the fire lit under me. I think you'll enjoy the next scene. For this one, I am so honored to receive a six-star rating from you. You are so generous!
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
I'm no playwright or screenwriter, but I thought your stage directions were very helpful in understanding what's going on. I also like the idea of the background fading, and lights focusing on Cornelius and Cililla.
Kids can be so mean, and there are always bullies about. I hated school, all through my younger years. The only grades that were better for me were 9 and 11. I won Math awards both years, and I came second in my class in Grade 11. I had a girlfriend when I was in Grade 9, and it lasted from October to May. I was brokenhearted when we split, and I still think of her. It didn't ruin my year though. As I mentioned, I won the Math prize, an Astronomy book about the solar system from Baxter Dairies (the local milk plant).
I wonder what Cililla meant by this closing remark,
"Something else, my dear, lovely Cornelius ...? Your life is about to change in a most challenging way. I'll be around watching, but you'll have to deal with a lot of it on your own." ...I guess we'll find out soon enough.
Seems Jennie likes Cornelius.
"I will be here, afterward, like I am now, as long as (they) think I'm needed ... to kind of sort out things;" ...(just wondering about this line, who is "they"? Did you mean to write "as long as you think I'm needed" ???
Looking forward to the next act, Jay! Keep up the good work!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
|
Hi Jay,
I'm no playwright or screenwriter, but I thought your stage directions were very helpful in understanding what's going on. I also like the idea of the background fading, and lights focusing on Cornelius and Cililla.
Kids can be so mean, and there are always bullies about. I hated school, all through my younger years. The only grades that were better for me were 9 and 11. I won Math awards both years, and I came second in my class in Grade 11. I had a girlfriend when I was in Grade 9, and it lasted from October to May. I was brokenhearted when we split, and I still think of her. It didn't ruin my year though. As I mentioned, I won the Math prize, an Astronomy book about the solar system from Baxter Dairies (the local milk plant).
I wonder what Cililla meant by this closing remark,
"Something else, my dear, lovely Cornelius ...? Your life is about to change in a most challenging way. I'll be around watching, but you'll have to deal with a lot of it on your own." ...I guess we'll find out soon enough.
Seems Jennie likes Cornelius.
"I will be here, afterward, like I am now, as long as (they) think I'm needed ... to kind of sort out things;" ...(just wondering about this line, who is "they"? Did you mean to write "as long as you think I'm needed" ???
Looking forward to the next act, Jay! Keep up the good work!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 12-May-2021
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
-
Interesting! I thought everyone was going to mention the "they". No, I meant "they" but to be honest with you I'm not sure why. Only that something told me to keep it. Of 28 reviews yours is the first mention it. It will be two weeks before the next scene. The reason is I'm posting another first scene to a play in free verse. I'm kinda proud of it, though it will probably bomb. I'm telling you this to give you some fore-notice because I won't be able to promote it very high and I want you to get a chance for the pump. I'll be posting it right at 9 PM (LA time) Saturday night.
As usual, Kimbob your review is over the top. I don't know how you can keep your sixes after Wednesday. Mine were gone after Monday. Thank you so much, Kimbob.
Comment from lyenochka
I had to smile at your non-apology for the long stage directions. I think it's fine as this seems to be more a psychological play and part of transitioning Cornelius from a child's make-believe world into an adolescent introduction to reality.
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
|
I had to smile at your non-apology for the long stage directions. I think it's fine as this seems to be more a psychological play and part of transitioning Cornelius from a child's make-believe world into an adolescent introduction to reality.
Comment Written 12-May-2021
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
-
I think people enjoyed my apology as much as the play itself. Thank you, Lyenochka for you kind words and giving me justification for my long-windedness.
Comment from Audra J Perez
this is amazing but im a little confused is this a script like for a play? either way not a problem twas just confused lol im not sure what else to say on this but i have to keep typing anyways keep it up
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
 |
this is amazing but im a little confused is this a script like for a play? either way not a problem twas just confused lol im not sure what else to say on this but i have to keep typing anyways keep it up
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-May-2021
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
-
Stars really don't mean a lot to me, but I find it strange when I get nothing but kudos, except whether it is a script or a play, and then follow it up with three stars. You must have not been paying attention.
Comment from amahra
First, let me say I love your character's names like Cililla and Jennie Jax. Another is I'm a lover of poetry and adore when prose interflows with poetry. Example: "At that moment, everything goes into shadow, and movement on the playground is frozen ... except for CORNELIUS, still turning, AND CILILLA, both of whom are spotlighted.]" Just to name one. I like your author notes and in them you don't apologize for being somewhat unconventional in your writing style for this work. Great job, Jay.
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
|
First, let me say I love your character's names like Cililla and Jennie Jax. Another is I'm a lover of poetry and adore when prose interflows with poetry. Example: "At that moment, everything goes into shadow, and movement on the playground is frozen ... except for CORNELIUS, still turning, AND CILILLA, both of whom are spotlighted.]" Just to name one. I like your author notes and in them you don't apologize for being somewhat unconventional in your writing style for this work. Great job, Jay.
Comment Written 12-May-2021
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
-
I love your kind words, Amahra. If you are a fan of poetry, I invite you to keep your eyes open for my post Saturday night (9 PM LA time), which will be scene one of a play in verse. I won't be able to promote it highly so I'm letting you know it will be waiting there right after 9 PM, Saturday.
-
9 PM LA time is midnight on the East Coast. If I can stay awake, I'll check it out. Thanks, Jay.
-
I'll still make sure it's worth at least 75 cents and throw a leprechaun incentive on it, so you won't be reading it for 2 cents. I don't expect anyone to sit up till midnight.
Comment from judiverse
Thanks for your kind note. Playwrights are free to give all the directions they want, just as directors are free to cast them aside. Good job with the bully, Delaney. It seems he's about to be put in his place. I'm glad Cilillia is telling Cornelius he's going to have to stand on his own. Jenny is a good character to attract Cornelius's attention, as she also seems unsure of herself. They may have much in common. The setting should work well. It's fairly simple with the basketball court and the hedge in the background. Sounds like great off-Broadway material. judi
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
|
Thanks for your kind note. Playwrights are free to give all the directions they want, just as directors are free to cast them aside. Good job with the bully, Delaney. It seems he's about to be put in his place. I'm glad Cilillia is telling Cornelius he's going to have to stand on his own. Jenny is a good character to attract Cornelius's attention, as she also seems unsure of herself. They may have much in common. The setting should work well. It's fairly simple with the basketball court and the hedge in the background. Sounds like great off-Broadway material. judi
Comment Written 12-May-2021
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
-
Hearing from you is worth a whole passel of other reviews, Judi. Thank you so much. Also for your acknowledgment of my Author's notes. Six stars! That's just the icing!
-
You're very welcome. This is so impressive. You'll really have to work to get this produced when you finish. Some universities offer playwriting classes and read have public performances of staged readings of the students' plays. You might look into something like that to get started. Before a play is published, the company usually wants to know if it's been produced anywhere. judi
-
Thanks for your suggestions, Judi. I'd have to work over some of the hurdles I foresee now. But afterwards, who knows. Thanks.
-
That's how I had a few plays performed--through a local college. You might see what's available where you live. judi
Comment from robyn corum
Jay,
This is still a very unusual little story in a play. I have no idea of where you're headed with it or what you're trying to say. But I'm still on board.
Notes:
1.) CILILLA
Is this pronounced: Se- Lil - Ye- Ah (?)
2.) With the castle and the king, and Pidely-Poo there as your (b)brother
2.) Pidely-Poo's gone. Along with the (c)astle. Gone. Along with the (k)ing.
3.) He is your real, true (f)ather
4.) Rising on the balls of her feet so close she can see the lash of his eye laid against his cheekbone, fluttering, it takes all her concentration to keep her lips still as she presses them lightly to his cheek and instantly pulls back.
--> ummm.... play. Remember? P. L. A. Y. Not story. hahahaha
Thanks!
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
|
Jay,
This is still a very unusual little story in a play. I have no idea of where you're headed with it or what you're trying to say. But I'm still on board.
Notes:
1.) CILILLA
Is this pronounced: Se- Lil - Ye- Ah (?)
2.) With the castle and the king, and Pidely-Poo there as your (b)brother
2.) Pidely-Poo's gone. Along with the (c)astle. Gone. Along with the (k)ing.
3.) He is your real, true (f)ather
4.) Rising on the balls of her feet so close she can see the lash of his eye laid against his cheekbone, fluttering, it takes all her concentration to keep her lips still as she presses them lightly to his cheek and instantly pulls back.
--> ummm.... play. Remember? P. L. A. Y. Not story. hahahaha
Thanks!
Comment Written 12-May-2021
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
-
Cililla --> Her whole name is a play on words. Cililla Queez. Think of a one-person speech in a Shakespeare play. Get it?
Yes, I know. P.L.A.Y. Not story. That's why I wrote the Author notes, either as apology or a nose-thumbing.
Thanks for your suggestions on capitalization. Glad to have you on board.