Heaven awaits your decision
Meaningful shorty (Author)46 total reviews
Comment from Hardwick Dennard V
this speaks to my heart, mind, and soul.. it's phenomenal and the flow of it is just WOW. i really felt this to the core, tearing up reading it .
its remarkable, well said and i can tell you've been thru some challenges in life and this right here proves that with writing you can prevail.
personal rating for me is a 1000.. broke my scale bro i LOVE IT
reply by the author on 06-May-2021
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this speaks to my heart, mind, and soul.. it's phenomenal and the flow of it is just WOW. i really felt this to the core, tearing up reading it .
its remarkable, well said and i can tell you've been thru some challenges in life and this right here proves that with writing you can prevail.
personal rating for me is a 1000.. broke my scale bro i LOVE IT
Comment Written 06-May-2021
reply by the author on 06-May-2021
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Finding our core makes us all reprioritize our actions... Many thanks for the glowing review and rating....Namaste...John
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
The last few lines kind of makes a person think. We need to keep something for ourselves; if we give it away, we have nothing. Yes, we are born with nothing but love from our parents and God. And we leave this earth with nothing but love. Exceptional.
reply by the author on 06-May-2021
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The last few lines kind of makes a person think. We need to keep something for ourselves; if we give it away, we have nothing. Yes, we are born with nothing but love from our parents and God. And we leave this earth with nothing but love. Exceptional.
Comment Written 05-May-2021
reply by the author on 06-May-2021
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Love for sure. I also miss dignity, honor, respect, patience, tolerance, unity,... Service is the rent we pay to mother earth. Some are in arrears....John
Comment from MissMerri
I would give this poem at least an 85. I liked the philosophy expressed and find no editing errors other than the lack of punctuation which I'm sure is deliberate. (I'm not fond of it, but many are.) The first stanza threw me a little. I'm not sure what you meant by "Use history to create more/Then I will learn what is in store/All I need do is raise my worth" I've read it several times, trying to grasp what you might be saying. Just looking at the skill of the author based on the poem before me, I'd say an 85 is a fair score. That might be a five plus or a six minus. I hope this is helpful. You obviously know how to express yourself quite well and I have to acknowledge that the lack of understanding may be entirely my fault. Believe me, I tried. MM
reply by the author on 06-May-2021
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I would give this poem at least an 85. I liked the philosophy expressed and find no editing errors other than the lack of punctuation which I'm sure is deliberate. (I'm not fond of it, but many are.) The first stanza threw me a little. I'm not sure what you meant by "Use history to create more/Then I will learn what is in store/All I need do is raise my worth" I've read it several times, trying to grasp what you might be saying. Just looking at the skill of the author based on the poem before me, I'd say an 85 is a fair score. That might be a five plus or a six minus. I hope this is helpful. You obviously know how to express yourself quite well and I have to acknowledge that the lack of understanding may be entirely my fault. Believe me, I tried. MM
Comment Written 05-May-2021
reply by the author on 06-May-2021
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Use history to create more -
Our DNA contains genes and memes.
Genes control the construction of our form as the reflection of over 4 billion years of evolution. They produce pixels as digital bits that organize themselves into a cohesive bundle of thought we call "body."
Memes are metaphysical and influence the behavior of the pixel body. Genes and memes control our evolution. We are born with the truth and some will pass through this level of organic life without ever finding it.
Then I will learn what is in store
There are no inventions, only discoveries of truth that hadn't been given a name. Words like heuristic, Quantum, and many others are popping up all the time. The store I refer to is akin to a master mechanic's toolset.
Fixing an engine is far easier than fixing psychosis. The kit for returning a psycho to a balanced state of mind is Boolean Logic.
Those who do not use that logic to fix their self-generated issues will never fix it.
Language is the problem. Computers have no language problems talking to each other because they only have to agree on whether a particular bit in its memory is either on or off. More than two thousand languages and dialects confuse communication among people and groups of varying literacy and assimilation skills. Today's computers can easily eliminate confusion.
All I need do is raise my worth
After taking inventory of potential avenues to travel, I have found that the benefits I get from life on earth (that I care about) have naught to do with quantity of pixels. I have never managed a savings account. Not only because no other natural organic creature on earth is able to think in quantifiable terms. Saving money is holding energy back from its natural flow.
Quality of living is what we all seek. Raising my worth can only be done through others' consideration of what I provide. I am worth zero to the almost 8 billion people on this planet. Today's communication systems can reach all those people in one day.
There is nothing I understand that cannot be understood. I have hundreds of poems and essays in my portfolio that sing the same song:
Love is universal - Don't exclude yourself
We all share the same blood types - that makes us brothers and sisters. I know of no one waiting for a transfusion asking for the donor's color, religion, ethnicity, etc... Admit it!
I have more things to say. Should you want to continue our communication, let me know....John
Comment from Boogienights
I agree that we must all stop thinking of ourselves, but I fear that this has gone on throughout time and won't stop anytime too soon. You mention next birth which I assume means reincarnation. I believe in that and understand your point that we need to learn to be better people. I give your well written poem a 98% for all my opinion is worth. Thanks for sharing. :)
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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I agree that we must all stop thinking of ourselves, but I fear that this has gone on throughout time and won't stop anytime too soon. You mention next birth which I assume means reincarnation. I believe in that and understand your point that we need to learn to be better people. I give your well written poem a 98% for all my opinion is worth. Thanks for sharing. :)
Comment Written 05-May-2021
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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If we imagine what we want to become and stop judging the garden path on our journey, our common spirit will make it manifest. The length of time it takes is measured by how many lies we need to remove. Peeling an onion is an apt analogy.
If we consider our souls to be buried beneath society's indoctrination, every lie reveals the discovery of a higher mentality. When all layers are gone, we are left with the essence of onionness or humanness. That is the transcendental door to Nirvana, Heaven, Paradise, or whatever where we enter godliness.
"It is a consummation devoutly to be wished." from Hamlet.
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, it's always the thought that counts, right? I appreciate and applaud the thought and theme of the write, and find it worth my read. I rate it 95, utilizing the rating you requested, because that is simply my opinion regarding the theme and flow of the write...
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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In my opinion, it's always the thought that counts, right? I appreciate and applaud the thought and theme of the write, and find it worth my read. I rate it 95, utilizing the rating you requested, because that is simply my opinion regarding the theme and flow of the write...
Comment Written 05-May-2021
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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Many thanks....John
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You're very welcome, John...Eve
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You're very welcome, John...Eve
Comment from Eunice Amero
Lovely poem. Well written. The meaning stands out well. Heaven is going to be a wonderful place. We all have some part of our ancestor inside us which makes us who we are. God formed us to live a happy life even in our most worse burdens. He's always there. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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Lovely poem. Well written. The meaning stands out well. Heaven is going to be a wonderful place. We all have some part of our ancestor inside us which makes us who we are. God formed us to live a happy life even in our most worse burdens. He's always there. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 05-May-2021
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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If we imagine what we want to become and stop judging the garden path on our journey, our common spirit will make it manifest. The length of time it takes is measured by how many lies we need to remove. Peeling an onion is an apt analogy.
If we consider our souls to be buried beneath society's indoctrination, every lie reveals the discovery of a higher mentality. When all layers are gone, we are left with the essence of onionness or humanness. That is the transcendental door to Nirvana, Heaven, Paradise, or whatever where we enter godliness.
"It is a consummation devoutly to be wished." from Hamlet.
Comment from Rubypond
A lovely poem with spirituality and morality! I really enjoy those types of poems myself. They are great for gaining perspective. If I may point out one minor place where there is a forced rhyme in stanza 4, "For us to grow, Truth we must face". Because we don't speak like this in normal talking it feels a little forced but perhaps just a tweak on the sentence. example: for us to grow and keep a pace, attain this goal within our race"
of course, up to you! A beautiful piece regardless!
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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A lovely poem with spirituality and morality! I really enjoy those types of poems myself. They are great for gaining perspective. If I may point out one minor place where there is a forced rhyme in stanza 4, "For us to grow, Truth we must face". Because we don't speak like this in normal talking it feels a little forced but perhaps just a tweak on the sentence. example: for us to grow and keep a pace, attain this goal within our race"
of course, up to you! A beautiful piece regardless!
Comment Written 05-May-2021
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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I changed the line...
If we imagine what we want to become and stop judging the garden path on our journey, our common spirit will make it manifest. The length of time it takes is measured by how many lies we need to remove. Peeling an onion is an apt analogy.
If we consider our souls to be buried beneath society's indoctrination, every lie reveals the discovery of a higher mentality. When all layers are gone, we are left with the essence of onionness or humanness. That is the transcendental door to Nirvana, Heaven, Paradise, or whatever where we enter godliness.
"It is a consummation devoutly to be wished." from Hamlet.
Comment from Colleen The Garbanzo Bean
I love your poem! I especially like the idea of your DNA braiding your ancestor's story into your own. The duality of learning from the past and looking forward is really beautiful in this poem. What great motivation to be the best version of ourselves!
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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I love your poem! I especially like the idea of your DNA braiding your ancestor's story into your own. The duality of learning from the past and looking forward is really beautiful in this poem. What great motivation to be the best version of ourselves!
Comment Written 05-May-2021
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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Thank you for getting the message....John
Comment from Pantygynt
There are two major components in a poem, the content and the form. I personally don't see it as a reviewer's job to comment on the content, which is the poet's opinion and he/she is entitled to it. How it is expressed though, the form of the poem is something else again, and I have to say that as a piece of poetry it doesn't really work for me. It sets itself up to be a rhyming poem and the quintets follow a rhyme scheme aabba, though there is a tendency towards an unsettling totality of assonance in some of them, and the absence of a unity of rhythm stifled the flow for me.
People here tend to get desperately upset if low grades are given and the poem's interesting content merits the five stars overall that I am awarding.
Since you have invited us to use a different scale as well I will use that one to mark specifically the form achieved - 65.
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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There are two major components in a poem, the content and the form. I personally don't see it as a reviewer's job to comment on the content, which is the poet's opinion and he/she is entitled to it. How it is expressed though, the form of the poem is something else again, and I have to say that as a piece of poetry it doesn't really work for me. It sets itself up to be a rhyming poem and the quintets follow a rhyme scheme aabba, though there is a tendency towards an unsettling totality of assonance in some of them, and the absence of a unity of rhythm stifled the flow for me.
People here tend to get desperately upset if low grades are given and the poem's interesting content merits the five stars overall that I am awarding.
Since you have invited us to use a different scale as well I will use that one to mark specifically the form achieved - 65.
Comment Written 05-May-2021
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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You have raised my awareness. Thank you much....John
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Only one thought can make us whole
That is to stop being selfish...The selfish part hits home. As humans we are nearly all guilty of that at times. Wonderful write, excellent subject matter during these troubling times. A fine read which I enjoyed very much and which conveys an excellent message. Kindest regards and well done Meia x
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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Only one thought can make us whole
That is to stop being selfish...The selfish part hits home. As humans we are nearly all guilty of that at times. Wonderful write, excellent subject matter during these troubling times. A fine read which I enjoyed very much and which conveys an excellent message. Kindest regards and well done Meia x
Comment Written 05-May-2021
reply by the author on 05-May-2021
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Thank you for getting the message....John
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take care!Mx
