Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Football Chapter 16 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
26 total reviews
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear barbara, You are going to have to tell your readers soon, what that PI is up to and why, he is taking photos.
What ever he is trying to accomplish, he is certainly limiting the time Gabriel can spend with Katherine and her boys. All your readers can tell that little Jeremy needs a father, big time.
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Dear barbara, You are going to have to tell your readers soon, what that PI is up to and why, he is taking photos.
What ever he is trying to accomplish, he is certainly limiting the time Gabriel can spend with Katherine and her boys. All your readers can tell that little Jeremy needs a father, big time.
Comment Written 02-May-2021
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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In about 2 or 3 posts you will get more information about the PI. I promise. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear barbara, You are going to have to tell your readers soon, what that PI is up to and why, he is taking photos.
What ever he is trying to accomplish, he is certainly limiting the time Gabriel can spend with Katherine and her boys. All your readers can tell that little Jeremy needs a father, big time.
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Dear barbara, You are going to have to tell your readers soon, what that PI is up to and why, he is taking photos.
What ever he is trying to accomplish, he is certainly limiting the time Gabriel can spend with Katherine and her boys. All your readers can tell that little Jeremy needs a father, big time.
Comment Written 02-May-2021
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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In about 2 or 3 posts you will get more information about the PI. I promise. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Good chapter. Thanks for including the "fight song:" I heard her sing it on the Today Show years ago.
"You hear that, Reggie, she'd glad she confided in me? [... SHE'S glad she confided in me?]
Angie had the walk the end and all but two girls had to walk. [Angie had TO walk (?) the end ...]
Gabe doesn't have to have a reason to come by on the weekends, AND she has a chair 'with his name on it' for dinner. Things are heating up!
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Good chapter. Thanks for including the "fight song:" I heard her sing it on the Today Show years ago.
"You hear that, Reggie, she'd glad she confided in me? [... SHE'S glad she confided in me?]
Angie had the walk the end and all but two girls had to walk. [Angie had TO walk (?) the end ...]
Gabe doesn't have to have a reason to come by on the weekends, AND she has a chair 'with his name on it' for dinner. Things are heating up!
Comment Written 02-May-2021
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Thank you for the kind review. You must have been reading this while I was making those corrections. In 20 workdays, I retire. After that I need to pick your brain. LOL Please be patient with me.
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Nothing to be patient about. Retirement around the corner. Then you can get serious about publishing!
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
barbara:
Another good chapter. I became the girls' track coach my seventh year of coaching, by default - the de-fault of no one else willing to do it. I had never been to or watched a track meet in my life. I am sure there will be some mention of that in the book I am writing. One question for you below. Should this sentence be divided in some way? :
"You're not going to sit and watch you're actually going to run?"
"You're not going to sit and watch, or (.) You're actually going to run?"
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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barbara:
Another good chapter. I became the girls' track coach my seventh year of coaching, by default - the de-fault of no one else willing to do it. I had never been to or watched a track meet in my life. I am sure there will be some mention of that in the book I am writing. One question for you below. Should this sentence be divided in some way? :
"You're not going to sit and watch you're actually going to run?"
"You're not going to sit and watch, or (.) You're actually going to run?"
Comment Written 02-May-2021
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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I see what you're saying. I'll fix it. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, this is another great chapter. I think Gabriel is really sweet on her, but I'm surprised the private investigator is still on the case. Well, I just have to see how it will develop. Great writing. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Hi Barbara, this is another great chapter. I think Gabriel is really sweet on her, but I'm surprised the private investigator is still on the case. Well, I just have to see how it will develop. Great writing. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 02-May-2021
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Soon the P.I.'s purpose will be revealed. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from AJ McCall
What's really funny and cool about this chapter is that it has to do with jogging, and my mom and I recently started jogging early in the mornings around our neighborhood. I love running, and I'm sure glad Gabriel and Katherine love it too, lol. (I really like to be in track & field right now.)
And that P.I needs to disappear so that Gabriel can spend more time with Katherine. Can't wait to see how the next chapter plays out!
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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What's really funny and cool about this chapter is that it has to do with jogging, and my mom and I recently started jogging early in the mornings around our neighborhood. I love running, and I'm sure glad Gabriel and Katherine love it too, lol. (I really like to be in track & field right now.)
And that P.I needs to disappear so that Gabriel can spend more time with Katherine. Can't wait to see how the next chapter plays out!
Comment Written 02-May-2021
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Soon the P.I.'s purpose will be revealed. Thank you for the kind review.
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Well, I can't wait for it to be. You're welcome!
Comment from Leann DS
This is a great chapter! The dialogue helped move along the plot, and the setting is well described and vivid. I did not notice any typos at all. Gabe and Catherine seem to be loosening up a little bit with their inevitable relationship. That little one sure loves Gabe!
Thank you for sharing. Hugs and blessings to you.
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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This is a great chapter! The dialogue helped move along the plot, and the setting is well described and vivid. I did not notice any typos at all. Gabe and Catherine seem to be loosening up a little bit with their inevitable relationship. That little one sure loves Gabe!
Thank you for sharing. Hugs and blessings to you.
Comment Written 02-May-2021
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Jeremy needs a father figure. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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I know. 😔 it's kind of heartbreaking.
Comment from royowen
You'd think the private eye would have given up by now. Katherine has her first workout with the fifteen girls that have volunteered for the girl's cross country team, and they did well considering, I never enjoyed the running part of footy training, well done, good progress Barbara, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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You'd think the private eye would have given up by now. Katherine has her first workout with the fifteen girls that have volunteered for the girl's cross country team, and they did well considering, I never enjoyed the running part of footy training, well done, good progress Barbara, blessings Roy
Comment Written 02-May-2021
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Soon the P.I.'s purpose will be revealed. Thank you for the kind review.
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Well done Barbara.
Comment from nomi338
This relationship is moving in the right direction. I do believe that these two will be a powerful couple one day. I also believe that Katherine's children will be a catalyst in the progression of the relationship, that is as long as Gabriel doesn't do anything to mess it up.
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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This relationship is moving in the right direction. I do believe that these two will be a powerful couple one day. I also believe that Katherine's children will be a catalyst in the progression of the relationship, that is as long as Gabriel doesn't do anything to mess it up.
Comment Written 02-May-2021
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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I agree. Good insight, but Gabriel can be a loose cannon. Thank you for the kind review.
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Yes, but he seems to be maturing, as he appears to be learning from past mistakes.
Comment from robyn corum
Barbara,
Great job. I like that they keep getting closer but also continue to be wary of moving too fast. There's so much to consider - with the weirdo and the kids and blended dogs and everything. hehehe
Notes, if I may:
1.) "He grabbed his chest. "Now you hurt me to the core."
--> no quote mark at the beginning
2.) "Seriously, if anything, at all comes up, text or call.
--> "Seriously, if anything at all comes up, text or call.
--> leave out that middle comma
3.) Out of his office meandered, Reggie with a yawn and a stretch
--> no comma
4.) These girls are gonna get primed to run three miles in ONE WEEK?
5.) After thirty minutes of (warm) up, they jogged toward
Enjoyed!
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Barbara,
Great job. I like that they keep getting closer but also continue to be wary of moving too fast. There's so much to consider - with the weirdo and the kids and blended dogs and everything. hehehe
Notes, if I may:
1.) "He grabbed his chest. "Now you hurt me to the core."
--> no quote mark at the beginning
2.) "Seriously, if anything, at all comes up, text or call.
--> "Seriously, if anything at all comes up, text or call.
--> leave out that middle comma
3.) Out of his office meandered, Reggie with a yawn and a stretch
--> no comma
4.) These girls are gonna get primed to run three miles in ONE WEEK?
5.) After thirty minutes of (warm) up, they jogged toward
Enjoyed!
Comment Written 02-May-2021
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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I have made all the corrections. I'm assuming since they are going out for cross country they enjoy running and are running on their own. Two of my granddaughters do. LOL Thank you for the help.
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I'm not sure, but it might do to have her question them about that before they head out while they're still in the locker room? Just kinda get a feel for strengths and weaknesses on the team before they jump in?
